Monkeybone Page #23

ORGAN DONOR:

What the - who the hell am I??

SURGEON:

You're an organ donor!

ORGAN DONOR:

Am I dead?!?

SURGEON:

The chute didn't open. We kind of assumed -

ORGAN DONOR:

I need this body. Just for a few minutes. I'll

bring it back, okay?

The ORGAN DONOR grabs a lab coat from a nearby rack and races out. (And

since STU is temporarily occupying the DONOR's body, we will henceforth

refer to him as O.D. STU.)

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - A MOMENT LATER

O.D. STU comes racing around a corridor. His LAB COAT is already covered

with gore, and he's having trouble holding his GUTS in. His PANCREAS

spills out onto the floor just as two DOCTORS stroll past.

DOCTOR:

(eyeing the pancreas)

Might have someone take a look at that.

O.D. STU

Oh. Yeah. Thanks.

The DOCTORS move on. O.D. STU spots a JANITOR'S CART with a roll of DUCT

TAPE on one shelf. He WRAPS IT TIGHTLY around his midsection to keep his

innards from falling out. Then he runs for it.

Now the TEAM OF SURGEONS rounds the corner in hot pursuit. The lead

SURGEON spots O.D. STU at the end of the corridor and takes off after

him. But he SLIPS on the PANCREAS and goes sprawling!

The pancreas goes flying down the hall, where it gets SQUASHED in rapid

succession by a GURNEY and by a little old lady's MOTORIZED WHEELCHAIR.

When the SURGEONS retrieve it, it's a hunk of pulp.

LEAD SURGEON:

I think it can still be saved. Put it on ice.

EXT. ZOO - DAY

GUESTS are beginning to arrive for the benefit. In the cages and

habitats, animals stare up at a gigantic MONKEYBONE BALLOON.

EXT. ZOO - ANOTHER ANGLE - DAY

The BAZOOM TOY REP is rounding a corner when HERB pops out from behind a

tree and BLASTS HIM with a jolt of purple gas from a Monkeybone doll! He

sputters and coughs...

Then he grabs the doll away and blasts HERB right back! The two of them

chase each other around the tree, giggling. The BAZOOM REP'S WIFE, in

her formal gown, affects a look of supreme mortification.

EXT. STU'S HOUSE - BACK YARD - DAY

O.D. STU climbs over the fence, finds a hidden key, and lets himself in.

INT. HOUSE - STUDIO - DAY

O.D. STU rushes frantically from room to room.

O.D. STU (o.s.)

DOC? DOC?? - JULIE?

No reply - the joint's empty. O.D. STU enters the studio and spots a

NEWSPAPER on his drafting table. The paper is folded back to a big

DISPLAY AD for the benefit: "MEET STU MILEY AND MONKEYBONE - 8 PM

TONIGHT!" He checks the wall clock: time is short.

Reaching into the drawer of the drafting table, he pulls out a TACKLE

BOX which contains old brushes...and a small VELVET BOX. O.D. STU opens

the velvet box to reveal Grandma's ANTIQUE RING.

He hears GROWLING behind him - it's BUSTER. The dog looks up, c*cks his

head - and begins WAGGING HIS TAIL. Somehow, even though STU's in a

different body, BUSTER recognizes him.

EXT. STU AND JULIE'S HOUSE - DAY

O.D. STU exits, ring in hand. Behind him, BUSTER is throwing a fit -

barking, FLINGING himself at the screen door. He wants to come along!

A BUS pulls up at the corner, and O.D. STU boards it. BUSTER throws

everything he's got at the door - and it gives! He takes off after STU.

EXT. ZOO - GROUNDS - DAY

As HERB is walking toward the refreshment table, an ODD LOOK crosses his

face. All at once he begins to TUG at his collar. He yanks his TIE off

...doffs his JACKET onto the pavement...

POV HERB - PSYCHO-VISION

The nightmare drug is kicking in! The whole zoo SWIMS around him. All at

once he's being ATTACKED...by a HORDE of EMPTY CLOTHES!!

EXT. ZOO - GROUNDS - DAY

JULIE has arrived at the zoo. She's wandering zombie-like through the

food court, flanked by her friends ALICE and CLARISSA.

JULIE:

Whatever he's done, I'm responsible for it.

CLARISSA:

That's not true, Julie. It's not true.

ALICE:

This is not about your guilt, Julie. There could

be innocent people in danger.

CLARISSA:

He's not the same guy. He's not your Stu.

(beat)

I didn't want to tell you this, but the other

day he pinched me on the butt.

ALICE:

I didn't want to tell you this, but the other

day he tried to mount me from behind! Look, you

have to tell the police.

JULIE:

Tell them what? I don't know anything concrete.

All I have is a feeling.

All of a sudden, they hear SHOUTS and LAUGHTER from the area of the

reptile house. In the distance, ZOO SECURITY GUARDS are chasing a NAKED

MAN through the crowds of formally-dressed partygoers.

CLARISSA:

Oh my God, we've got a flasher.

JULIE:

That...that's Herb!

The GUARDS catch hold of HERB and drag him away past JULIE, ALICE, and

CLARISSA. He doesn't recognize any of them. He's PSYCHOTIC:

HERB:

CLOTHES! Beware of clothes. They're working

together. All of them. Shirts...pants...

ENSEMBLES...!

The three women exchange looks of stupefied HORROR.

INT. MUNI BUS - LATE AFTERNOON

PASSENGERS are holding their noses, frantically pulling on the BELL ROPE

to alert the driver that they want off. As we move toward the back we

see O.D. STU sitting alone, with rows of empty seats on either side.

He looks rough. He's bone-white, his taped-up lab coat is crusted with

blood, and he never did find any shoes. Also, it's a hot night and he's

starting to get a little ripe. FLIES are buzzing all around him.

EXT. STREETS - THAT MOMENT

BUSTER runs down the sidewalk as fast as his stumpy little legs will

carry him, in pursuit of the BUS.

INT. CAR - MOVING - LATE AFTERNOON

The team of SURGEONS has been tracking O.D. STU across the city! Through

the windshield they see the BUS pulling up outside the zoo. O.D. STU

hops out and sprints across the parking lot.

SURGEON:

IT'S HIM! HE'S GETTING OFF!

INT. ZOO - ENTRANCE - LATE AFTERNOON

O.D. STU doesn't even stop at the ticket window. He VAULTS over the

turnstile, knocking benefit guests aside. The SURGEONS aren't far

behind. They race up to the ticket window -

SURGEON:

Did you see a corpse running this way?

The TICKET-TAKER shrugs and points off in O.D. STU's direction.

INT. BANQUET TENT - THAT MOMENT - LATE AFTERNOON

The last stages of dinner. WAITERS are already clearing plates, and

although JULIE has barely touched her food she sends her plate away.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote