Monster-in-Law Page #5
The slut's practically|fornicating with him!
- Stop it!|- I don't blame her.
That boy's a fine piece of ass.
Hold on, Viola.|He's... stop it! Right here.
Actually, Charlie,|the reason I'm calling
is I wondered if you'd|like to have lunch next week.
- Really?|- How would Tuesday work for you?
Yeah,|Tuesday's perfect!
Listen, Viola, I'm kind of in the middle|of something right now,
um, but Tuesday's fine.
Yeah, me too.
- Lots to do!|- Okay, bye!
Oh.
I'll go get the vodka.
It's good to see you.
There she is.
Charlotte.
Hi. I'm going to have|the garden salad
and the low-cal Chinese dressing|and a decaf iced tea.
- And you, miss?|- Oh, um, I'll just have a...
cheeseburger|with fries and a soda.
- All right.|- Okay.
You continue|to surprise me.
Aren't you worried about fitting|in your wedding dress?
Well, I mean, I'm making the dress|to fit my body,
not the other way|around.
Whoa. I wish I had been|that confident when I got married.
I'll tell you one thing|you're gonna have that I never did,
a stupendous wedding.
And it's important that we|book the church right away.
I always thought|that Kevin looked like Jesus
in the cathedral down|on Second Street. Mmm.
Actually, we were thinking|of having...
a non-denominational|service,
being that I'm more spiritual|than religious.
Oh.
That way we don't even|need to book a location.
And Kevin was born there|and grew up there.
Oh, it would mean|so much to him. I'll plan it all.
We'll have that marvelous band|that the Swansons' had at their wedding.
And a divine cake.|Oh, honey!
No no no!|Tsk tsk tsk!
Chewing,|it's a disgusting habit.
Oh, hold still.|I've gotta... gotta...
- There! Got it!|- Ow!
Thanks, um...
What do you think|about peach?
- Oh, um, excuse me.|- Yes?
Can I get another salad|without the nuts?
- I have allergies.|- Okay.
I'm allergic to nuts,|and eggs, and shellfish,
and blueberries.|Oh... and soy.
It's amazing you've been able|to nourish yourself all these years.
Oh, yeah!|The cake!
I'm thinking traditional vanilla|with strawberry drizzle.
Look, Viola, I really do|have all of this under control.
I made this for you.
It's your wedding planner book.|Peach.
Oh.
Is that a picture|of me and Kevin?
Oh, and... present time|from your new mama!
Thanks.
Wow!
It's big! You can see|the thorns on the roses.
You'll wear it on your wedding day,|just like I did.
Of course I was|a virgin when I wed.
But we'll just pretend|with you.
Now, about the wedding...
the two of you are going to arrive|in a horse and carriage.
And the driver's top-hat|will match the horse's saddles,
and the ribbons|on the doves
that will be released|at the exact moment
of "I do," hmm?
And I've been in touch|with your bridesmaids.
How do you know|their names?
Well, Kevin told me.|And I think for the honeymoon
St. Bart's is the absolute|best place for you to go
- 'cause Kevin adores it.|- Hey, just hold on!
Just wait|a minute, okay?
No.
Thank you, but no.
Thank you,|but no to everything.
No to the horse|and buggy.
No to the top-hats,|and to the doves and geese
and any other farm animals|you're thinking of using that day.
And definitely no to you|planning our honeymoon.
- What?|- Oh no.
I can... oh!
- Oh oh!|- What's wrong?
- "Oh no" what?|- My pills, my pills!
Okay.|Well, let me help you.
- Oh!|- Viola!
- Oh, no!|- Wait, Viola!
Viola!
Viola!
Oh my God, Viola.|Oh my God!
- Give her some room.|- Help!
- Give her some air.|- My God, is she dead?
- No!|- Get her some help.
It couldn't be|that easy.
She's had|an anxiety attack,
which can feel like|a heart attack.
She's gonna be okay.
But she definitely needs|to take it easy. No stress.
She said that you were|yelling at her,
that you refused her gift|and said she couldn't plan our wedding.
Tell me that's|not true.
Well, technically...
yes.
But, hold on.|I didn't yell at her.
And she just kept pushing|and pushing and pushing.
And, okay, I admit it.|I snapped a little bit. But...
What was I supposed to do?|She wouldn't take no for an answer.
Come on, look, you know|what a hard time she's been having.
- So she's a little difficult.|- Difficult?
A two-year-old|is difficult.
- She's like... ah!|- Come on, she's all alone.
I'm all she's got...|we're all she's got.
Come on.
Excuse me.
I'm Dr. Chamberlain,|the psychiatrist in residence.
- Are you Mrs. Fields's son?|- Yes.
- May we speak in private?|- Actually, this is my fiance.
We can talk.|Um, is she okay?
Well, I just completed your mother's|interview and I'm concerned.
It's possible that she's on the verge|of a psychotic break.
I should probably see her|at least twice a week, minimum.
Also, I prescribed her|some anti-anxiety medication.
If she starts to feel|overwhelmed, they'll relax her.
Does she live alone?
Uh, yeah.
Well, I feel|it would be best
if she were cared for|by relatives...
people that are closest|to her during this time.
Just until we're confident|that she's out of danger.
All right.|Well, thank you, Doctor.
Oh, God.
I've got that|medical conference.
What am I gonna do?
You know what?|Don't... don't worry about it.
Um, I'll take care of her.
Thank you.
- Come on.|- What?
- No, come with me.|- No no, the doctor said no stress.
- Charlie, come on. Enough already.|- I'll stay here. Kevin!
Come on.
I am so sorry.
No, Mom, don't be.|It's okay, really.
Charlie?
I'm sorry too, Viola.
No, I was too pushy.
No.
You weren't.|Look, Viola...
I would love it if you would|help me with the wedding.
It's all right,|sweetheart, l...
I don't really think|I'm up to it.
My nerves are shot.
Mom...
Mom, Charlie and I think|you should live with us for a while,
until you feel better.
Are you sure?
Oh!
Oh, I can't possibly.
- I couldn't.|- Mom, it's okay. Relax.
I couldn't possibly.
Not unless I know|Charlotte's forgiven me.
Will you?
Me?
Yeah, I forgive you.
You just put those|anywhere.
- Hi!|- Hi.
- Are you feeling better?|- I'm much better, thank you.
- Great.|- Sweetheart, I'm kind of thirsty.
- Would you... is the kitchen over there?|- Yeah, sure.
- Great. Goodbye.|- Okay.
- Hey, Charlie.|- Are you moving in, too?
No, I don't like|the neighborhood.
Look, do you have any|firearms in the house?
- No.|- You might want to get one.
When will you be back?
Soon as I can, honey.|I promise.
Are you sure|you're gonna be okay?
Yeah. I mean, hey,|it's only at night, right?
And, I mean, she's gonna|sleep most of the time
with those pills|the doctor gave her. Right?
Look, I know my mom can be|a little challenging.
So if you have any|problems just call me.
I'm on the first flight back,|I promise.
Okay.|Well, hurry home.
And who knows?|By the time I get back,
maybe you two|will be best friends.
Oh, am I interrupting|something?
- Uh, no, Mom, come in.|- The caterer called.
He still thinks|I'm doing the wedding.
He sent over a sample plate|'cause I gave him the colors you wanted.
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"Monster-in-Law" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/monster-in-law_14009>.
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