Movie 43 Page #9

to become the first Negro high school

team ever to compete for a state title.

Theirs was victory's glory.

(WHISTLE TRILLING)

Come on, y'all. Why y'all still sitting here?

The games are about to start.

Coach, we scared.

Look, there's 10,000 white people out there

that think that we ain't good enough.

You know what? Maybe we ain't.

All'y'all feel like that?

Four hundred years in this country

the black man has been spit on,

kicked, drug through the mud,

but I've got two things I can tell you.

Number one:
Win or lose,

I am so proud of y'all.

Number two...

(CHUCKLES)

You're gonna win!

It's just that plain and f***ing simple.

You're going to win!

But them white boys from Hickory Tech...

- What game are we playing?

- Basketball, Coach.

- What color is their skin?

- White.

Exactly! They're white, you're black,

this is basketball!

Am I speaking f***ing Chinese?

I mean, come on, people.

You guys are 25 and O.

Yeah, Coach, but that was

against all black teams.

That's the point!

Y'all gonna kill those Caucasians!

But, Coach,

look at their fundamentals.

The fundamentals? It doesn't matter.

It's all the same when you're some

cement foot, troglodyte white boy

getting dunked on with a big pair

of black f***ing nuts

hanging on your forehead.

Speaking of nuts, Lucious.

Come on up here, Lucious.

Tell them... How long is your dick?

I don't know, Coach. Like a foot.

- Foot and a half.

- Foot and a ha...

Foot and a half?

- Their arm ain't even that long!

- Yeah, White Knights!

- Yeah!

- You scared?

Well, well, well.

You Negroes gonna play

basketball or what?

Yeah, you Negroes.

What's the matter? You realized

you didn't belong in a white man's game?

- You Negroes!

- (LAUGHING)

That's right.

This isn't a game for Negroes.

It's a game for good,

honest, white people.

Not for Negroes. You understand?

Negroes!

- White Knights!

- White Knights!

- White Knights!

- Yeah!

Hey, Coach, they look tough.

They look tough? Oh, I'm so scared!

You know what they might do.

One of them might dribble with

his left hand all the way down the lane,

and then go up for a left-handed layup,

and you know what's gonna happen then?

Your black ass is gonna swat that sh*t,

jump over his cracker ass,

and dunk in his goddamn face.

How many f***ing times

do I have to tell you?

You're black, they're white.

This ain't hockey!

Guys, I think what Coach is trying

to say is that the key word is teamwork.

No! The key word is

you're black, they're white.

So, Coach, what you saying is

if we just walk with the Lord...

The Lord? N*gger,

the Lord done did his part already.

He made you black, he made them white.

He gave you a foot and a half dick.

Dribble with that motherf***er.

As long as you all

are out there on the floor,

you gonna score more points than them.

That's just how basketball works!

(CLAPPING)

Cut that goddamn slow clap sh*t out.

Tries my motherfucking patience.

Go out there and win!

- Let's go...

...some white boys...

(ALL YELLING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(GRUNTING)

MAN:
It was a glorious game.

But late in the fourth quarter

when Lucious Williams dribbled

the entire length of the court

with his foot-and-a-half penis,

the referees had no choice

but to call a technical foul,

sending young

Bobby Lee Mayflower to the line

for the most dramatic moment

of the contest.

- (WHISTLES TRILLING)

- (CROWD CHEERING)

(RAP SONG PLAYS)

So I say why not a sitcom

starring Adrien Brody.

He raises toucans, 'cause

he looks kind of like the birds

and you get like

sort of a visual gag there.

It's a sitcom with Jimmy Smits,

and it's called

You Gotta Be Smitten Me?

I'm just going to go to the bathroom.

Is that all right?

- I can't f***ing do it.

- (LAUGHTER)

- I don't know but I've been told.

- I don't know but I've been told.

- Gym class gives you great, big balls.

- Gym class... (GRUNTS)

Out here shootin' the sh*t.

Some guys shootin' the sh*t,

and some people get shot with sh*t.

- (LAUGHS) Right? Am I right?

- I don't know what he's talking about.

You know what the f***

I'm talking about.

I wanna be on you.

In you.

(COUGHS)

- Sorry. F***.

- MAN:
No problem.

No.

No, I can just see him

underneath the table.

And he's had his fingers

in my p*ssy for the last five minutes.

It's monstrous. It looks like she's

sitting on Art Garfunkel's shoulders.

No one leaves this room

until we figure this out. (SIGHS)

- Mangled d*cks. Mangled...

- D*cks, d*cks, d*cks, d*cks...

- Mangled d*cks.

- Mangled d*cks.

- Mangled d*cks.

- D*cks.

- D*cks.

- I got frozen peas and a sponge.

No, Mikey,

there's steel wool on one side!

Sh*t, you're right.

OK, Amanda, you're gonna

want to keep the yellow side up,

otherwise there's gonna be

lots more blood!

(SCREAMING)

I suck cock for gold coins.

So do I.

(LAUGHING)

So what you're saying is

we go out there and give 110 percent...

One hundred and ten percent?

Fifty percent! Three percent!

I think what Coach is trying to say

is that the key word here is teamwork.

Lucious, will you whip out your dick

and smack this motherf***er with it?

- What?

- I love you even more.

- Oh, Anson.

- I do.

- Me, too.

- You do?

# He's America's favorite cat

- # Beezel! #

- (MEOWING)

MAN:

I'm embarrassed to even say this, but...

- WOMAN:
What?

- (MAN SIGHS)

Amy, ever since

you've moved in here, I...

- What?

- I love you even more.

- Oh, Anson.

- I do.

- Me, too.

- You do?

Yeah.

- (MEOWING)

- Oh, Beezel, how are you?

- How is my handsome little boy?

- (PURRING)

(FORCED CHUCKLE)

- (MUFFLED)

- (MEOWS)

- OK...

- (CHUCKLES) Hey, Anson.

Do you ever feel like your relationship

with Beezel is a little strange?

Amy, please don't tell me

you're one of those girls

that gets jealous of a guy's pet.

Even if that pet is super silly!

(LAUGHS)

No, no. I, uh... I just don't think

he likes me very much.

Oh, come on, Amy. He loves you.

- Really?

- Yeah.

There we go.

- (CHUCKLES)

- (MEWS)

Now, where were we?

(GASPING)

- What's wrong?

- (MEOWS SWEETLY)

- Aw.

- Nothing.

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

(GASPING)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTING)

(DISGUSTED GASP)

(ANGRY YOWLING)

(GRUNTING, YELLING)

- Ow! Get off of me!

- (MEOWING)

(PANTING)

(LOW GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

- Wha... Wha...

- (YOWLING)

- What happened?

- Beezel pissed all over me!

Oh, no, no. He just sprayed you.

Yeah, it's something

male cats do sometimes.

- It means he likes you.

- He likes me?

Yeah! Or it could mean

that he's sick.

- Buddy, are you sick?

- Anson, he did this on purpose!

- I caught him masturbating!

- He's probably just cleaning himself.

It was to pictures of you

in a swimsuit!

Cats can't even process

images in that way.

- But he is not a normal cat.

- Of course he is.

He just put a f***ing

thermometer in his mouth!

He thinks it's a toy.

(ANSON LAUGHS) Beezel.

Anson, I love you, I do,

but as long as that little f***er

is around, I cannot be with you.

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