Moving Violations Page #4

---

- Right. Sure.

- Now remember,

if you're going to abandon

your car by the side

of the road,

just lock it up

and leave it

where it stalls.

Never... I repeat,

never try to push it

to the side of the road.

I'll show you why.

I need a volunteer.

Mr. Barnes,

try pushing this car

to the side of the road.

As you can see,

by pushing the car,

you are in danger

of getting hit by uh...

Hank, I need you.

There's a fire.

- Fire?

- Fire.

- Fire!

- Fire!

All right,

here we go. Here we...

Come on! Watch this.

All right, all right.

Who put on the brake?

Get out of here.

I'll kill ya!

I got you, I got you.

Come on.

Here comes the Terminator.

Thank you.

Have a nice night.

Good evening.

Can I help you?

Good evening.

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

Good evening.

Can I help you?

- Hi.

- Hi.

Uh...

Are you doing anything later?

- Yeah, I'm going out.

- Oh.

But you could come with me.

How about we meet

at The Band Box?

- On Tower?

How about 10:
00?

- Sure.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Great, okay.

- I'll see you later.

- Right.

Bye-bye.

Scott, you devil.

- She's crazy about you.

- Really?

No.

I got my doubts.

What are you talking about?

Don't put yourself down.

You're a great guy.

Go get her.

- Trust me.

- Thanks, Dana.

You're a pretty great guy

yourself, Dana.

Speaking of great guys...

Good evening, kids.

How are you?

I'm doing a lot

better than you,

Mr. Cannon.

I understand your business

is going down the drain.

Too bad.

Yeah, well...

I can always get

another job.

You on the other hand,

civil servant,

are stuck in this shitty

nowhere traffic school

for the rest of your life.

Forever.

I am sick of you,

Mr. Cannon.

Fine. Why don't you do

something about it?

I'm off-duty.

Why don't we just

step right over here

and settle this?

Fine, right now.

Dana, why did

you get him going?

He's going to kill you.

Yeah, I might've gone too far.

- What are you gonna do?

- Let's find out.

- Over here, Cannon.

- Oh, excellent choice.

So, what's gonna be?

Boxing?

Karate?

Wrestling?

- Are you kidding?

Look, wimp...

Oh, Jesus.

You come on like

this big macho strongman.

How about

a real test of strength?

How about arm wrestling?

Sounds great.

I better warn you, Cannon,

I happen to be

western division

arm wrestling champion,

so don't be

surprised when I break

your arm in two.

Sounds fun.

Come on, d*ckhead.

Spence, can you call it?

Okay, on three.

One, two...

Three.

- Halik!

- Chief!

Whoopsy.

Scott, Scott.

Stephanie... hi.

Hi.

- What happened

to your hair?

- This is my hair?

I just wear a wig a lot.

It looks terrific...

Really, terrific.

Hey, do you like cars

as much as I do?

Sure, probably more.

You know what I love to do?

I love to drive fast.

Uh, I don't have a license.

We could get into big trouble.

Scott,

when I drive fast,

I get very hot...

So very, very hot.

Let's go.

One foot on the brake

And one on the gas,

hey!

Faster, Scott.

Well, there's

too much traffic

I can't pass, no...

Faster, Scott, it turns me on.

So I try my best

illegal move

A big

black and white...

Go all the way, Scott!

Floor it, floor it!

Go faster, Scott!

Go on and write me up

for 125

- Post my face,

wanted dead or alive...

Whoa, whoa-oa!

- Stop here!

This is where I live.

I gotta go.

Hey, uh...

you forgot your keys.

It's not my car.

I don't know whose car it is.

Oh, sh*t!

- Welcome to NASA.

- Great.

- So this is where you work?

- That's right.

I grew up in a place

that looks just like this.

Now, Dana,

don't fool around

in here.

- This is a serious place.

- Thanks, Dr. Hopkins.

So these are the readouts

for all the space probes

which are currently orbiting.

That's the Voyager project.

That's Viking, that's Pioneer,

and that's

the Russian's Lunakhod.

Oh, the bad guys, huh?

We'll get them.

Don't mind me, fellas.

You guys are doing

a terrific job, really.

- Keep up the good work.

Enjoy, enjoy.

Hmm.

You are really

an aggressive woman.

- Come on.

- Oh, my favorite

two words.

So I have

a question.

- Mm-hmm.

- Why are we here?

- Because...

of this.

This?

Could be different.

Up, up and away.

Whoa, yeah,

now I know how

a racquetball feels.

Yeah! Yeehaw!

Too much fun.

This is a good way to keep

your socks up, you know?

I feel nice

Sugar and spice now...

Come here, Dana.

Dana, come here now.

This feels great.

Now what?

Well, I always say,

"If you make love

for the first time,

you should at least

make it interesting."

I'm for that.

Tonight,

we get behind the wheel

of a car and test you

on the fundamentals

- of driving.

- First group,

Houk, Cannon,

Barnes, Roth, and Hopkins.

Mrs. Houk,

you drive.

Where's the car?

Oh, god, we're dead.

Right this way, Mrs. Houk.

- Dad, are we there yet?

I'm hungry.

- Shut up!

- Take a right here,

- Mrs. Houk.

Stop the car,

Mrs. Houk.

- I hear bells.

- Mrs. Houk!

You hear bells?

Sh*t, hit the brake!

The train is coming!

Start the car,

Mrs. Houk.

You know what a train does

when it hits the body?

Start this car!

Everybody

get out of the car!

Get out, get out.

Mrs. Houk!

Get out!

Get out of the car!

- Where is everyone?

- Damn, it's locked!

Come on, come on,

we gotta push.

- Would you get

over here and push?

- Oh, man.

Oh, we're gonna be splattered!

- Honey, are you okay?

- God, that scared me!

Oh-ho-ho-ho.

Ho!

It's like I always say,

"When the going gets tough,

the tough get going

in their pants."

Go ahead and laugh.

None of you are gonna finish

traffic school anyway.

You're gonna all fail.

And I guarantee you

none of you will ever

see your cars again.

Jeez.

What am I gonna do?

My dad is gonna

kill me.

With the debts I've got,

dying sounds pretty good

right now.

Hey, would you two burly

fellas care to join me

in a desperate mission

a little bit later?

Sure.

Will there be

bloodshed?

Shh.

Hey, guys, it's me.

Hey, man,

you almost gave me

a heart attack.

Great!

Wink, do me a favor...

Try to be an actual person

in the next five minutes, okay?

This ain't

gonna be easy.

Relax,

I got it covered.

I made this stuff at home.

Works pretty good, huh?

Very nice, very nice.

Um, time to get going,

wouldn't you say?

There we go.

Uh-oh.

I'll save you, here I come.

Yeehaw!

Come on.

Let's get our cars.

- Is that your truck?

- No.

Let's try down here.

Sh*t.

- Who is it?

- I know exactly

who it is.

It's that pain in the butt,

Dana Cannon.

- I can't find my Limo.

- Halik!

Christ.

Fierce, this is

just like "Cujo," man.

- Come on, come get us!

- There's my truck.

Oh, tear your heart out.

So long.

- I'll have Cannon

picked up within the hour.

- I'll take care of him.

I'll really take care of him.

Hey, come back here.

We just stole

that thing

ourselves.

Sh*t.

Dana Cannon,

you're in big trouble now.

All right, all the money

in the till, come on!

Move it!

What?

Yeah?

- Freeze, mister.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes