Mr. & Mrs. Smith Page #4

that drunk didn't have any right

to pick up your garter and wave it around.

I showed you both my garters.

- After you'd gotten Julie's garters.

- They were my garters.

- They were Julie's garters.

- How do you know?

I know they weren't yours.

Do you two have a license

to get this crowd around?

What do you mean, license?

Run on about your business.

Go on and hit him, why don't you?

Knock him down. Go ahead.

I wouldn't advise your friend

to strike an officer in this town.

Officer, I'm on your side.

I don't even know this man.

Beat it, buddy. You go this way.

And you go visit Columbus Circle.

Go on, scatter. Break it up.

Wait. You can't do this to me.

Come in.

Hello, David.

I postponed the Amanda case for you...

and set back the Duffy hearing...

and asked for a continuance

against the streetcar company.

That's fine. Just fine.

I'd like to ask you to do something.

I'll get my work cleaned up

in no time at all.

I can't seem to get my mind

on it right now.

That's all right.

You don't know

what I'm going to ask you yet.

Sure. Anything you want. You know.

I'd like to have you drop in

at your own home tonight...

after dinner.

What do you mean?

I took matters in my own hands

and asked Ann to have me to dinner.

She's fond of me,

and she knows I'm fond of her.

I think I can straighten this thing out.

I hope it is something I can straighten out.

It's nothing at all.

It's just a little marital quarrel.

It's nothing at all, really.

I imagined it was that.

You're too fine to do anything shoddy.

I'd like to have you

just drop in unannounced...

at, shall we say, 9:00?

That's all right.

- You're the best friend a man ever had.

- We're partners.

You're the best partner a man ever had.

We were school chums.

You're the best fullback

that Alabama ever had.

I thought Henkel was great...

but Henkel couldn't touch you.

Thanks, David.

- May I come in?

- I'll see.

It's all right.

Hello, Ann.

David, I want you to talk to my lawyer.

Your lawyer?

What lawyer?

Ann has asked me

to represent her in this matter.

What for?

I've been telling her

she doesn't need a lawyer.

I'll say she doesn't.

She just told me all about it,

and as I understand the facts of the case...

you two aren't married at all.

- There you are.

- What?

So there's nothing for the court to decide.

It happened before,

in Peterson v. Peterson.

They threw it out of the Supreme Court.

What's the matter with you?

He said you're lucky it isn't the South,

and that I'm not his sister.

Why, you hillbilly ambulance chaser.

Now, there's no need to lose our temper.

We're married.

If not legally, then by common law.

That's just as good. It's better.

I don't deny there's

a common-law relationship between you.

Tell him the whole thing.

The woman is given the benefit

of any difficulties arising...

out of such a relationship.

For instance, should you die...

as a wife, she's entitled

to share in the husband's estate.

Great. When I die, she'll get the furniture.

You're entitled to hold yourself forth

as the husband.

I am holding myself forth as the husband.

I wish you'd tell me something

I don't know.

Should the woman, however,

care to halt the relationship...

and marry someone else,

she's entitled to do so.

Peterson v. Peterson, Adams v. Kelly...

and Gimbel v.

New Pennsylvania Coal Company.

You are supposed to be my best friend,

and you're telling her this?

I have never taken advantage

of our friendship by word or deed...

and it's only

because you're standing here...

that I can now ask Ann.

Would you have dinner

with me tomorrow night?

I'm asking you to come to your senses

and marry me tomorrow.

If you have dinner with him, this is final.

We're through.

What time?

We're through.

From now on, we're just friends.

That's not necessary.

- Is the Florida Club all right?

- Anywhere you say.

- I'll call for you at 8:00.

- That'll be fine.

- Good night, Jeff.

- Good night.

- Good night, Ann.

- Good night.

Comparing yourself to Henkel

as a football player.

You couldn't carry Henkel's water bucket.

Good night, David.

- You understand?

- Yes, sir.

- Who is it?

- Could I see you a moment, please?

Just a minute.

Good night, David. Your nose is bleeding.

Are you sure that stuff is good

for a nosebleed?

Best thing in the world. I always use it.

I don't know. I use it for everything.

Yeah. Oh, boy!

I guess I am a kind of a dummy.

The last thing in the world I should do

is chase her.

Leave her alone for a week or 10 days.

She's used to me.

She can't get to sleep until I get home.

I'll have fun for a couple of nights.

Play a little poker with the boys.

Gloria?

I thought there was a woman in here.

Hiya, Gloria.

And I'm kissing you back.

Jimmy?

This is no Jimmy, this is Chuckie.

Been missing your Chuckie, honey?

She's a wonderful girl.

Society girl. Real class.

How about tomorrow night?

Attagirl.

Listen, I got a friend. How about Gertrude?

- You'll like Gertrude.

- Me? Gertrude?

He's a wonderful fella.

Society fella. Real class.

Did you ever see the girl

in the Camel advertisements?

Is she as good-looking as that?

Gertrude, I got a nice little dinner partner

for you tomorrow night...

but he kind of needs cheering up.

Know what I mean?

She wants to talk to you.

Hello?

- She's kissing at me.

- Kiss back at her.

- I don't know her.

- It's all for a laugh. She's a great kid.

It feels kind of silly.

How do you know you're crazy about me?

It's just an ordinary voice.

I used to sing a little.

Didn't I tell you? He's a great fella.

Where do we make it?

The Florida Club.

How about the Florida Club?

Okay. Goodbye.

Wait till you see her.

What has Gertrude got to do with Camels?

She smokes them.

But you said something about

the advertisements.

She looks like that girl.

She's a dead ringer for her.

She likes my voice.

That isn't all she'll like.

Yes, I'll take care of that, Mr. Rondell.

I'll do the best...

I'll be there in a minute.

Mr. Chuck Benson's party.

Yes, sir. They're expecting you.

Right this way.

Not there, Davey. Not there.

Over here, Davey.

Davey, my boy. The one and only!

Here he is, kids, in the flesh.

What's been keeping you?

Hello, there.

What's held you up, Davey?

The girls have been waiting here for you

for more than an hour.

I've been a little busy at the office.

No, not there. That doesn't go there.

Keep your hands off of Gloria.

This is Gertie, here.

No, right here is where the chair goes.

Gloria O'Day and Gertie Schultz,

this is Davey Smith.

How do you do?

What are you gonna have to drink?

- Try an Old Fashioned.

- Yeah, have an Old Fashioned.

Waiter, bring us another Old Fashioned.

Isn't it a little crowded in here?

Couldn't we go someplace

where it was quieter...

- maybe a little darker?

- Hold it, cookie.

We'll go to one of them dark,

romantic places later.

- We're eating first. You ever been here?

- Yes, often.

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