Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation Page #3

- And she still wouldn't start? | - Nope.

It's a mighty sweet little pump.

Now, look, I'm not challenging | the sweetness of the pump.

I'm just telling you | I can't get the lousy thing started!

She's okay now.

That's the sweetest little pump | in these parts.

Nice to have you here, Mrs. Hobbs.

And if you need me, I'm generally | at home or in Mrs. Coats's cesspool.

You too, Katey.

How 'bout it, kids? | How's for a little sun on the beach?

How 'bout it, Miss America?

- What's the matter, honey? | - Nothing.

- Well, don't you feel well? | - I'm all right.

Well, then come on, | let's go outside.

I'd rather stay here, | if you don't mind.

Well, if you change your mind, I'll-

Good morning.

- Uh, good morning. Beautiful day, isn't it? | - Gorgeous.

What-What are you reading?

- War and Peace. | - Any good?

Well, The New Yorker | didn't care much for it...

but it got pretty good notice | in some of the other papers.

I like The New Yorker. | It has such lovely ads for jewelry.

Is it true that you are a banker?

Well, yes. Yes, I am.

- May I join you? | - Well, you certainly may.

You know, I haven't met a fellow | out here in more than a year...

that wasn't flat broke.

Well, there's an awful lot of that | going around these days.

- I think it is the "D-ducks. " | - You think it's the D-duck? The what?

The "D-ducks. "

The way they say it's not "D-ductible" | to take a girl out for dinner anymore.

- Oh, I see. | - Oh, Tolstoy's War and Peace.

- Uh, Tennessee Tolstoy. | - I remember.

I was trying to read it myself.

With all these Russian names, | I just couldn't tell the men from the women.

Well, it does call for | quite a bit of concentration.

- Where is it? | - Where is what?

- Your bank. | - Oh! St. Louis, Missouri.

This place is simply filthy | with people from St. Louis.

You will have a lot of fun | seeing them.

As a matter of fact, we came out here | to get away from them for a while.

- You know, you are real sharp for a banker. | - Oh, thank you.

- Marika. | - Uh, Roger.

- And over. | - No, that's my name. Roger.

Oh, really? Is it a big one?

- Is what a big one? | - Like National or something?

Oh, yes. Biggest in St. Louis.

Oh, boy. | What a ball you must have.

Wait a minute. You know | I don't exactly own the contents.

I didn't mean | you were taking it, darling.

- Well, I- | - You're just being in there, with it!

Yes. Yes.

- Is, uh, Mrs. Hobbs up here with you? | - Yes, yes.

And the children. | Two of them, that is.

- The others will be along in a few days. | - What others?

Well, our two older daughters | and their children.

- You mean, you have got grandchildren? | - Babies, of course.

Well, let me know | how that thing comes out...

if you think of it.

- Oh, Rog.! | - Yeah?

Will you come here a minute?

Yeah.

That's a grandma?

36-26-36 and still operating.

- You stay right here. I'll be back. | - Uh, listen.

How 'bout the rest | of the St. Louis crowd?

Couldn't we sort of all have | a little get-together here someday...

like a bathing suit party?

- You sure you don't mind if they're not all bankers? | - Of course not.

- I like depositors too. | - Oh?

Yes, dear?

- Who's the belly dancer? | - Well, what do you mean, belly dancer?

- She's just a big kid. | - Uh-huh.

That was Humbert Humbert's first report | on Little Goody Two Shoes, wasn't it?

All right, all right. | Well, what's out of order now?

- Brenda's leaving. | - Already?

Come with me.

Turn on the water.

The hot water.

She got it right in the kisser.

That was the last straw.

You-You wouldn't want | to try it just one more night?

One more night, I "tank" I go crazy! | Too quiet, like graveyard.

But everybody told me | it was just like Finland around here.

In Finland, once in a while | at night you hear a wolf.

We can fix that water spout | in the kitchen, you know.

And in Finland, | man do not swear at woman!

I "tank" maybe she go crazy already.

Did you really swear at her?

I've never sworn at a cook in my life.

Well, she said that you did | when you came downstairs this morning.

This morning, when I came- | I never even spoke to her.

I asked the kids how they'd like | a little sun on the beach, and then-

and-and-

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, Peg, I don't know.

I don't know. | Where did we fail?

I can handle the kitchen. | That doesn't bother me.

It's Katey that has me worried.

Do you know that she hasn't | come down for a meal yet?

You think she really | hates us that much?

No. No more than Susan | and Janie did at her age.

- It's those new braces. | - What new braces?

- On her teeth. | - Oh, oh.

Haven't you noticed how | she won't even smile?

- But don't they all have them at that age? | - Hers are new.

She isn't even used to them yet.

But what are we gonna do, honey?

We can't let her go through | the whole vacation in this kind of misery.

Wh-What are we gonna do?

I don't know, Rog.

L- I can't figure it.

L- I can't figure | what we did that was wrong.

Oh, well. Let's not make | too much out of it.

The girls will be here soon, and they'll- | they'll snap her out of it.

Yeah. Susie- | She'll have her out of it in five minutes.

Why, that little monkey | will have her laughing so hard...

she won't remember | she has braces or anything.

Won't she?

They're here, Peggy! | Did you have any trouble finding it, Stan?

- Not very much. | - Good.

- How's my Susie girl? | - Hello, Sue. Hello, Stan.

- Oh, Daddy! | - We expected you earlier.

Oh, hey, hey. | What's the matter, baby?

L- Oh, Daddy, not now. Later.

Don't you look beautiful, Peewee! | Come on, Peter.

- Stan, how's it going? | - Fine, thank you. And you?

- Oh, fine, fine. Not bad. | - Come on, darling.

- I don't like you. | - Hi, Peter boy.

- Don't you want to give Boompa a nice big hug, darling? | - Boompa?

It's what he calls you. He's talked about you | so much, I really don't understand this.

Excuse me, Peg.

- Boompa? | - Don't you want to say hello to Boompa, Peter?

I don't like Boompa!

All right. | Then you just come on out of there!

If you don't mind, | it does no good to yell at him.

- All right. Then you get him out of there. | - Well, I-

- Susie, I'm- I- | - Oh, they're just tired and hungry.

I'll- I'll heat them some milk.

Some milk. Yeah, get some milk. | You need some help?

- Come on, Peter boy! | - I wanna go. I don't like this place!

- Come on. | - Mommy!

- Help! | - Don't worry about that stuff, sir.

I'll bring it in just as soon | as I've got him taken care of.

Help!

Oh, darling. Will you get | that stuff upstairs right away?

Boompa.

Okay.

- Where is she? | - Oh! We didn't expect you until tomorrow!

- Hi, Peggy. How are you? Janie, here she is. | - Oh, Mother!

- Oh, I'm so glad to see you! | - Let me have the baby.

Let me see him. | Oh, he's beautiful! Peewee! Peter!

- Come on down. | - Mother, you're holding him so wrong.

Katey.

- Would you like some coffee? | - I'd love some coffee.

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