Mr. Nice Page #5
I can't f***ing swim, you f***ing c*nt!
- F***ing wanker.
- He's all right, man. He's having a laugh.
My grandfather, Patrick Murphy,
was a Catholic policeman in Belfast.
- He was murdered by the f***ing IRA.
- Well, he shouldn't have joined the police.
- He doesn't mean any harm, Patrick.
- He's a sociopathic liar.
Look, it doesn't matter if you lie all the time.
Just take it into account.
I just wish there was another way.
Listen, I've been thinking.
We should ditch all this small-time sh*t
and get into the American market.
- Why?
- The numbers.
Listen to me.
Consumption of hashish and marijuana
in the UK is about three tons a day.
In the USA, they smoke 28 tons
every day of the year.
Now, most of it is cheap Mexican weed
that sells for 200 bucks a pound.
But good hash, like ours,
it costs one thousand bucks a pound.
- Wow!
- No.
No. No way.
No way. No f***ing way.
- What's the difference?
- The Yanks.
- They'll come after you, Howard.
- They're not gonna come after me.
Patrick, don't encourage him.
It doesn't make any difference anyway.
I can't figure out
how you'd get it across the Atlantic.
You'd need a f***ing huge crate.
You see, when a band tours America
with their gear, they're not importing it.
They get this thing called a carnet.
A sum of money
that's deposited with Customs,
which is retrieved again
when the equipment leaves the country.
Customs tear the docket off the paperwork
and wave it through.
- Do the band know?
- Who gives a f***?
Hello.
Hi.
Hello. Welcome.
Welcome to California.
- Thank you.
- You found us.
- Ernie Combs. Good to meet you.
- Howard.
Welcome to
the Brotherhood of Eternal Love.
Thank you.
We will, uh...
Well, we'll keep the west coast, uh, stoned.
I was wondering
when you were gonna introduce me.
- Here we are.
- Hello, there.
- Hey.
- Nice to meet you. I'm Howard.
Patti. It's great to meet you.
You're a very lucky man, Ernie.
Well, you know, we're, uh...
we're all lucky here.
We don't dig any of this, like,
possession jealousy vibe.
- How are you?
- I'm well. How are you?
Hey. Cmo ests?
I'll be right back.
Mmm. Don't be long.
- Ernie.
- Oh. Uh, Howard,
your load should hit Vegas
at some point this evening,
so then you can come on by
and pick up the dough, man.
I was rather hoping
I'd get the money upfront, you know?
- Right.
- So I can get going.
Yeah. Um...
I... Look, I'm...I'm sorry, but...
This...
I-It has to be...
You show me...
the dope...
and I show you the money.
It's all right, it'll work out.
The load transited in
John F Kennedy Airport, New York.
Hey, man, I love the Floyd.
When the airport Ioaders
put it on the pIane to Vegas,
they f***ed up and Ieft one speaker behind.
What we got here?
- Hello, guys.
- Hello.
- What have you got?
- No prints, no suspects, nothing. Just dope.
The load was headed to Las Vegas.
Send this puppy on to Vegas.
I'll go along for the ride
and we'll see if anyone comes to pick it up.
The speaker's that case.
Cocksuckers.
Let's go and bust it.
Well, sir, you gonna help me?
It's all right, pig, I'm just
a dude picking up speakers.
All right, darling?
Can I be of assistance, gentlemen?
- Police! Get down!
- For f***'s sake!
Get off! Get off!
You waIked out of my Iife...
And of course,
the year starts with a parade.
Hey, one of you guys out there
has just Iost five miIIion bucks.
Today, Iaw enforcement officers seized
Nevada's biggest ever hauI of iIIegaI drugs.
Hashish, highIy concentrated cannabis
from the Middle East,
almost half a ton of it, was discovered,
hidden in speaker cabinets.
In the movies,
the crook, usuaIIy a fugitive,
aIways immediateIy switches off the radio
or teIevision when the buIIetin finishes.
I didn't. I stared at it bIankIy
for at Ieast an hour.
This was Hollywood.
It probabIy wasn't even happening.
- Would you like red or white wine?
- Oh, I'll have red, please. Thank you.
Lovely. I just went to a party last night.
Left the keys at home.
Here, Scotland Yard detectives say
they expect to make more arrests today
on an internationaI poIice operation
which is said to have smashed
ln all, 22 people have been arrested
in the United States, Britain and Spain.
At least four of the arrests were made here.
A report from home affairs correspondent
BiII HamiIton.
Your Honour, bail is out of the question
for the defendant.
He has money stashed in foreign
bank accounts. He is likely to abscond.
He is facing a possible 14 years under
Section 20 of the Misuse Of Drugs Act 1971 .
Your Honour, there's something
I can't reveal in open court.
We know you've been meeting a member
of the Provisional IRA who supplies arms.
And we know why you've been meeting him.
We'd like you to carry on meeting with him.
We've had a lot of difficulty infiltrating
the IRA. You've done a pretty amazing job.
This business with the Yanks.
It's a bit too much, though, Howard.
I'm afraid they've got their knickers in a
twist.
Well, what should I do?
Well, we can try and pull a few strings
and perhaps let them know
quite how important you are to us.
But you will, of course, owe the office
a substantial debt of gratitude,
if you know what I mean?
When are you next going to see McCann?
- Mac.
- Hmm?
The IRA don't know
he's been involved with dope.
- They'll execute him if they find out.
- C'est la guerre, Howard.
PeopIe ask me... They say, "It Iooks Iike
a glamorous life, being a drug dealer."
"lt looks like a lot of fun."
And l reply, "Don't do it unless
you are prepared never to be a grass."
Quid pro quo.
However, appearing to cooperate
is another matter.
Bail is granted for sureties totalling 50,000.
Mam and I will do what we can
to put up the bail,
whatever you did.
But, erm...
did you have anything to do with
hard drugs and guns?
No, Dad. Course not.
- Who is it, Mam?
- I don't know. Can I help you?
I think you better come with us.
- Tell Judy I'll be back, OK?
- Where are you going?
- Where are you going?
- I've gotta go.
- What about your coat, love?
- Who's this bloke?
- How long will you be, Howard?
- I've gotta go, Mam.
l'd staged my own abduction
so my dad wouIdn't forfeit the baiI.
You don't forfeit bail
if you've been kidnapped.
I'm Chief Superintendent Fairweather
from CID
and I'm looking for Howard Marks.
- This is the room.
- Ah. Thank you.
Please, no. No, don't touch that.
That is my son's private writing.
The person who came to the door,
the way you've described him,
it sounds very much to me like, erm,
an image that we've seen on the television.
- Is it?
- Balaclava, you know. Yes. The IRA.
So now Eddie Laxton, intrepid reporter
for the Daily Mirror, is onto the story.
What I don't want you to do is,
I don't want you to sensationalise it.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- We're talking about our son here.
- We're talking about our son, you know.
- Your son's more like a Robin Hood.
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"Mr. Nice" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mr._nice_14161>.
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