Mr. Troop Mom Page #5

And that ball is in play!

This is what we trained for.

- Let's go!

- Hurry up!

Switch.

Now go for it!

Row.

- Yes!

- All right!

Yeah! There you go, come on.

Now, go for it!

Oh, come on. You hit like a girl.

Yes.

- Don't let them get it.

- You're favoring Killer Bees.

- I'm not favoring.

- We're supposed to be impartial.

Ladies, we've got 30 seconds.

- Ladies and gentlemen, 30 seconds.

- Yes! Go for it.

Yes!

Come on, team. Go team.

- Come on, Dad.

- Switch.

- Go.

- I can't, Mom.

I like that! Good. Take it in the face!

- That's game! Killer Bees win!

- All right!

No shame in not being able to swim.

Hey, your team won today.

Congratulations.

Yeah, we won.

But I still feel like I embarrassed Naomi.

We were just starting to connect.

I mean, look at the way I'm dressed.

I mean, we were having fun on the lake

until my face broke that paddle.

Being a single dad,

and Naomi's mom passing away...

...I thought this time

would be good for us.

But it's been tough

with her not being around, you know?

Nobody can take her place.

I am so sorry.

I had no idea.

I lost my mom when I was young,

so I know how hard this can be.

You know, she seems like

a really well-adjusted kid.

So you gotta be doing something right.

Believe me,

whatever Naomi's got going on...

...her mom gets all the credit.

You're here, though. Right?

That's what counts.

Okay?

Did your dad ever talk to you

about your mom?

Problem was...

...the more time went by, the harder

it was for us to talk about anything.

He's a good man.

- Just kind of stuck in his ways. You know?

- I know.

Enjoy the view, Eddie.

It always helps me.

Thanks, CC.

Visualizing yourself

winning the finals tomorrow, Naomi?

Swinging your way to victory?

That's gonna be tough.

- I heard last year, one of the girls fell.

- Didn't the safety ropes catch her?

Are you kidding me?

Those old ropes? Poor kid.

Every time they told her not to look down,

that's exactly what she did.

Splattered like a watermelon.

Sorry, Skyler.

But I'm not the least bit scared.

Because this year,

we're gonna be the winners.

Prove it.

Didn't think so.

Make sure you get some ribs,

they're going fast.

Mr. Serrano.

- It's Naomi.

- Whoa.

Naomi. Don't move.

Don't move, baby. I'm coming.

Hold on, hold on.

Don't move. I'm coming.

Hang on, Naomi. I'm almost there.

Come on, sweetheart,

give me your hand.

It's okay, you gotta trust me.

You gotta trust me. Come on.

Come on, baby.

- Come on, baby.

- Daddy.

It's okay. It's okay. I got you.

I got you.

You know,

you girls should stand up to Skyler.

- Don't let her push you around.

- I feel sorry for her.

- For Skyler?

- Look at her mother. She's a mutant.

They've been messing with us

since we got here.

I mean, what is their problem?

- Have we done anything to them?

- Not yet.

What do you have in mind?

That tent's not very waterproof.

At least not the way I built it.

It's a defect from the manufacturer.

Got another one coming in overnight.

- You guys mind if I hang out in here?

- Sure thing.

We make exception for you one time.

- You're all heart.

- Catalina.

So, what are we talking about?

Exacting revenge on Skyler

and her mutant mother.

Way to let the beans out, kiddo.

- I got a few ideas.

- You do?

I do.

Okay, quiet. Let's go, girls.

Say hello to my little friend.

I mean, with the...

I don't get it.

Kids.

Don't look down.

Don't look down. Daddy!

This time, do it again,

but make your knees shake like Naomi.

Daddy.

Eddie Serrano!

We are so dead if we get caught.

- Oh, quit whining, will you?

- I found the cherries.

- I need those. I need those.

Okay, you girls like chocolate,

or a lot of chocolate?

A lot of chocolate.

- Someone's coming.

- Hide, hide, hide.

- We gotta hide Lula.

- Get down, get down. Hide.

Come here, come here.

- No.

- Hurry.

- Ooh.

- Hi.

- So I was on my way back to bed.

- Good night.

You know, if you have trouble sleeping,

warm milk puts me right out.

Thanks, but I could've sworn

that I heard voices.

Hearing voices? No, I can't

write a prescription. I'm just a lawyer.

No.

- Oh, voices.

- Yeah.

Yes, that was me

working on my closing argument.

You see, Your Honor, the jury has no

choice but to find the defendant...

Guilty.

I usually try to work on not guilty.

So apparently, one of the teams

had a run in with a bear tonight.

- Is everybody okay?

- Yes, but I will pass on your concern.

Now, the bear went

right through the cabin window.

You wouldn't happen to know

anything about that, would you?

Grab her.

Mm. A bear through a cabin window?

No. I mean, you hear about that,

but you don't really see bears out here.

Unless you're talking about that bear.

Mm-hm.

The truth is

we're throwing him a little party...

...for doing such a great job tonight.

I know nothing about this.

But you be warned, if that bear

is not back in Miss Hulka's office...

...by the time she wakes up,

she will mount your head on a wall.

Okay, look, you're here, huh?

Why don't you hang out with us?

I'm making banana splits.

You like ice cream?

- I can't.

- Come on.

- I can't.

- Yes, you can.

- I'll take a rain check.

- Do you like whipped cream? Because:

I put a lot on.

- Good night, Eddie.

- Good night.

Rain check.

- All clear?

- The party's back on. Let's go.

- I can't believe you let us steal a bear.

- Borrow a bear. And for a good cause.

Nobody calls your old man Bozo

and lives to tell about it.

Skyler didn't call you Bozo, that was me.

She only called you a clown because...

How'd you know I called you Bozo?

I don't know.

Bozo's a very popular clown name.

Boffo and Bronco

are also very common names.

- You read my journal.

- We're having so much fun.

Dad, how could you?

What I write in there is private.

- I can't believe this.

- Look, Naomi, I didn't mean to...

- I can't even trust you.

- I knew it.

There's the bear, Mom. Look.

- Oh, and I got it all on tape.

Let's see what Miss Hulka

has to say about this.

- Hold on. Wait. I got enough problems.

- Out of my way.

You've been making the girls' life miserable.

Let's call a truce.

You're so going home.

Ever since that day in second grade,

you've had it in for me.

I'm a little tired of it.

I am only gonna say this one more time:

Out of my way.

You know what I feel like, Sam?

I want another one of those sundaes.

- I am done flirting. Let's go.

- What are you gonna do, hit me?

You're gonna eat

in the middle of a stare down?

Oh, yeah.

And so are you.

I can't hit a woman.

- I can.

Bring it.

It's on.

Hey.

Hey, camp, a great place to get away,

fresh air and fisticuffs.

- Fight like a man.

- Come on, someone's gonna get hurt.

Power it down.

Lula.

Lula.

No.

Lula.

Oh, Lula.

Who started this?

Was it you?

- How did she know?

- Quiet.

I want you girls showered

and in bed in 15 minutes.

I'm sorry. Don't blame the girls, okay?

Just let me...

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