Mrs. Doubtfire Page #4

put my studies ahead of my athletics.

I'm sure you're the same

and you've done all your homework already.

- Well, not exactly.

- Really? Oh. That's a pity.

Young men who don't do their studies

often miss out on more amusing activities.

- And who is this young lady?

- This is Lydia.

Hello, Lydia.

This isn't fair, Mom.

Why do we need a housekeeper anyway?

- This is all I need.

- Why can't Dad do it?

Dear, I don't think it's appropriate to argue

with your mother in front of a stranger.

I just don't see why

we can't spend the extra time with Dad.

Maybe she's right, dear. Maybe their father

would be a more appropriate person.

No, I don't think so.

It's not my fault, honey. If he would

get a job and a decent apartment...

- You see, he's the kind...

- Excuse me, dear.

I'm sure you'd want the children

to step out of the room

before you verbally bash their father. Hm?

If I did that, I might never see them again.

- I'm sorry. You're right.

- No harm done.

- You're absolutely right.

- I'm not a therapist. I just see what I see.

Why don't you guys go on upstairs?

I'll be up in a minute.

- It's lovely to meet you.

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

You too, Lydie.

- Oh, they're a spirited bunch.

- Yes.

- Especially Lydie. She's got daggers for you.

- I know.

- They're very upset with me right now.

- Probably the divorce.

How did you know?

You can sense it, dear -

the way she talks about her father.

I don't think he's in the Navy, the way she's

saying she misses him. It's like he's nearby.

- Yes.

- Oh, that's so sad.

- Would you care to have a cup of tea?

- I'd love that.

- It's right in here.

- What a lovely home you have.

- Did you decorate this yourself?

- Yes, I did.

Oh, it reeks of taste!

Isn't this lovely, dear!

- Here's my rsum.

- Oh. Thank you.

- Let me start this tea.

- Oh, no, dear. Let me get that for you.

You've had a hard day. You just sit yourself

down on that stool and leave the tea to me.

Thank you. That's very nice of you.

Oh, not at all, dear.

- Oh. What a wonderful rsum.

- Thank you, dear.

"Expert in first aid and CPR."

And Heimlich manoeuvre, dear.

You can never be too prepared

when little ones are around.

They'll swallow anything.

You've got to be ready to pop it out.

Oh, let's see.

What a perfectly appointed little cubby!

Look at this. Everything

has its place and name tag.

How precise! It's lovely.

My husband never appreciated it.

Oh. Poor dolt.

That's not the reason

you divorced him, was it?

No.

It's so sad, because marriage

can be such a blessing.

So can divorce.

Daniel is a very difficult man to live with.

But the children are crazy about him.

You don't have to be

a psychic to sense that.

My, you certainly do know your way

around a kitchen!

It's just because everything

is so accessible. You designed it.

I'm amazed there isn't a little label there

that says "spoons".

You remind me of someone.

Really? Who?

I feel like I've known you for years.

Maybe we knew each other in another life.

I would love for you

to come and work with us.

- So would I.

- Great!

It would be an honor.

To us.

To us. The start of a business relationship.

Good evening, dear.

Evening, ma'am.

Cold night, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Hope you have somethin' nice and warm

to go home to.

My back.

Jesus! If I find the misogynistic bastard

that invented heels, I'll kill him.

God...!

Excuse me.

Mrs Sellner!

Have we met?

No. But Danny's told me all about you.

I'm his sister.

His... much older sister.

- You have his eyes.

- Only if he fills out a donor card.

- Is Mr Hillard in? I have an appointment.

- Do you? Oh, that's wonderful.

Let me go up and get him

and he'll be right down.

- I'll come with you.

- No.

- Yes.

- Why?

Because I have an appointment on Monday

and Friday evenings to check the apartment.

I remember him saying something about that.

Are you sure, dear?

It's three floors, hoofin' it all the way.

- If you can do it, I can.

- I'll bet so!

- Is your ticker all right?

- Topnotch.

Oh, good! Cos I don't want to jump-start ya.

Damn door.

Come in, please, dear. Sorry about that.

Here we are. Daniel's abode.

Oh, that's mine, dear.

I'm a messy house guest.

Well, just make yourself at home.

I'll be right back.

He'll be back. I'll go get him.

Don't be afraid. I'll be right there. Danny!

Danny boy, where are you?

Oh, here he is, dear. I found him.

Danny, there's a

Mrs Sellner here to see you!

- Oh, is she here?

- Yes, she is.

Mrs Sellner, I just got out of the shower!

I think you'll be very pleased with me!

I've been through

some really interesting changes!

And I'm becoming a new man

and a model father!

He'll be right there.

He's just changing, dear.

I want to keep you abreast

of the changes in my career!

There have been two big developments!

I'm finally starting to come into my own!

Things are really starting to take shape,

and I'm blossoming! Really, I am!

Things were hairy for a while,

but I'm in great shape now!

I'm my own man now! Oh, yes!

A job I could really sink my teeth into!

I'll be right there, Mrs Sellner!

So nice I don't have to

save face any more, Mrs Sellner!

Mrs Sellner! How are you? Always a joy!

If you wanted some cheese,

why didn't you just say so?

Well, you'll be happy to know

that I now am holding down two jobs.

One for an educational film

and TV company - heavy responsibility.

- And the other?

- Cleaning houses. Not mine.

- Big girl!

- Your sister is English?

She's half-English, half-American.

Half-sister, really. That makes her

an eighth English? I've never done the math.

Let me see, my father was American.

He flew for the English during the war.

He was in London and...

he met this lovely Englishwoman.

Well, my sister was

the fruit of their passions.

Sorry. My sister's, not yours.

You see, she's not a very good housekeeper.

But she makes a fabulous cup of English tea.

Really? Well, I would adore

a good cup of English tea.

Oh! Wouldn't we all! I'll go get her.

Sis! Oh, sis!

Sis, are you in here?

Tea? Cup of TNT.

Sick. Mom!

My face!

I've gotta go down and get it.

Norman Bates!

Miss Hillard?

- Yes, dear?

- I take sugar in my tea.

Oh, your tea!

I'll be right there with your tea!

Coming right up, dear!

Sugar - one lump or two, dear?

- Two, please!

- Tea, sugar, hot water.

You got it. Coming right your way, dear!

I'll be right there with your tea!

No! Stop!

Oh, sh*t!

- Can I give you a hand?

- Oh, no, dear! I don't need a hand.

I need a face.

- Are you sure?

- Oh, definitely!

I'm not a Muslim. I need a face! Oh, God.

Miss Hillard? The water's boiling.

Hello!

Oh, I'm sorry to frighten you, dear.

I must look like a yeti in this get-up.

This is my nightly meringue mask.

Part of my beauty regimen.

It's basically egg whites, creme frache,

powdered sugar, vanilla and a touch of alum.

There you go, dear. Oh! You've got your

cream and sugar. It's a little cappu-tea-no.

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