Multiple Maniacs Page #5

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You've been lying

all along.

Oh, no, Mr. David!

It was just that she was so old

that I felt bad for her.

I only let her...

Well, you know.

It was no big production or anything.

It was on the bus and all.

It's almost better than

what we did at Inga.

No, Mr. David.

Nothing could be better than that.

- Do you remember that usher?

- Do you think he saw us?

Well, he saw the dildo!

You do it better than anybody!

Performing acts is my

specialty. Turn over!

He's going to regret having ever met

me once I get ahold of him.

C'mon, Mink!

That slimy little pigfucker!

The Cavalcade? Are you from

the Cavalcade of Perversion?

I read about that

in the morning paper.

I run it, baby.

It's my show.

Oh, Jesus. You're my first

celebrity I ever gave a rosary job to.

And at St. Cecilia's!

Wow, imagine!

I can tell you, the master of

ceremonies is soon to be eliminated.

- How? Are you going to do it?

- Yes, I am!

Are you going to do it?

Oh, please let me come! Please!

I've wanted to perform Extreme

Unction on someone all my life!

I'll do anything you ask

but please let me come.

I don't give a sh*t who comes.

All I know is once I find him

I'm going to make sure he won't

walk out of that room alive.

He's got on my nerves

one time too many.

I don't care if you throw

a party for it.

I wish I had a chance to call on all

my friends and invite them over to watch.

I wish I had a movie camera so that

I could record every second of it

so afterwards I just could sit and

gaze at all my lovely work.

Oh, and that cheesy

little streetwalker!

Neither one of them deserve

an ounce more oxygen

running their putrid little lungs.

I hope they've had their fun

because it'll be the last fun

they ever experience.

Oh, another girl!

A double ceremony!

Oh, Lady Divine! This will be

my supreme day on Earth!

I've wanted to perform Extreme Unction

on someone since I was seven.

And now, not only one body

to bless but two!

Oh, Lady Divine. You're going

to make me a very, very happy girl.

Mr. David, am I better

than Lady Divine?

Different.

Just completely different.

Yeah, I guess Lady Divine is what

you men call a real piece.

She's lost all the sex appeal

I thought she might have had.

Does she love you?

Well, she used to. But now she's

incapable of even liking anybody.

I don't even want to think about her.

She's keeping us apart.

She didn't used to be such a monster.

When I met her...

in 1963, she was just an ordinary

shoplifter with lots of fun inside.

What were you, though?

Oh, I was unemployed.

I always was 'til I met her.

She taught me all the ropes:

dog-napping, phony credit cards,

blackmail, swindling,

drug dealing.

But then she got really shaky.

She became so hostile.

You couldn't depend on her

just to pull off a job.

No, she always had to stick around

and rough them up.

She never picked the places we

did because of the amount of money.

It was always because of the

person that ran it.

She didn't like something about

them. Their looks, their voice...

That would be the place

we'd have to rough.

Then she got really bad:

she killed a cop, it was really stupid.

He was just standing there,

directing traffic.

And she was in a particularly

shitty mood.

She had a new Eldorado then,

she was making good money.

He was standing there, and she

just headed right for him,

floored him and

ran him right down.

Why we didn't get nailed

for that one, I'll never know.

It was awful. She flattened

him like a pancake.

School children were around,

screaming...

She just laughed and went on.

We heard the ambulance sirens but

she just reached over

and turned up the radio.

It made her happy. She loved it.

From that day on,

if she gets to kill a cop

it's one of her most

satisfying days.

Didn't anyone get your plates?

I don't know. She abandoned

the car the next day.

She always used to dress up

real straight.

Like a schoolteacher

or something.

Oh, Mr. David. I can't think of

anything but to kill her!

We're together now,

aren't we?

But I mean living together,

day in and day out.

I'm afraid of her. I tried

not to let you know, but I am.

I've seen her in action

for too many years.

If she found us, she'd kill us both.

We'd be through.

Then it'd be self-defense.

We'd have to.

Bonnie... Have you ever killed

anyone before?

No, I haven't.

But it would be something new.

Something to prove how much

I love you.

A gift from me to you.

- How would we do it?

- Haven't you ever killed anyone?

I've been with Lady Divine

many times when she has.

It used to upset me but

I have to let her do it now.

She claims I did once but I

can't remember anything about it.

It's just a blank, you know.

We were in Hollywood and...

Oh, Bonnie. I don't

want to talk about it.

Mr. David. If you'd killed

someone you'd remember it.

I can't, though.

I honestly can't.

Then I'll do it all by myself.

It's the only way I have

to prove to you how much

I cherish our relationship.

If you did that for me,

I could never ask

another thing from you.

Then it's settled.

Get dressed. We'll have to do it

now or I'll lose my nerve.

Okay.

But how?

She'll be home...

We can go there.

You'll wait outside the door.

I'll leave it unlocked.

I'll try to talk to her.

I'll try to calm her down.

We've got to catch her

off-guard.

There's a gun in the car.

I'll give it to you.

I'll go in and try

to make love to her.

Then, I'll cough loudly.

That will be your signal.

You come in quietly, I'll jump up

and you shoot her.

Then it will be over.

We'll just leave her there.

She's wanted for so many murders

the police won't even care

who killed her.

But, Bonnie...

You'll have to do it.

I realize I am as guilty as you are

but I just can't do it.

Mr, David, it sounds fantastic.

Let's go there right now!

Will anyone else be there?

Cookie, her daughter.

But she goes out eventually.

She goes out every day.

She's a whore, just like her mother.

Mr. David, after this is all over,

I'm going to show you what

happiness is all about!

Where would you like to go?

California? Mexico?

We'll lead a life of constant acts

performed to perfection!

I love you so f***ing much

that I could sh*t!

This is the place!

Pete's? I was there once.

A lot of hippies go here.

Yeah? Well, I know of two who are

going to be leaving real soon!

- Suppose no one answers?

- I'll kick the door in.

Hold on, hold on...

Oh, it's you, Lady Divine.

- Where are they?

- They left 15 minutes ago.

- Are you lying to me?

- I ain't lying. I called you, didn't I?

They took a room upstairs.

I thought you'd be here sooner.

I had some complications.

Uh, oh.

We've got company.

OK, girls. Let's have some ID papers.

Got something for me today, Edith?

Oh, yes, yes. That's all I've got

today. A twenty.

I'll have the rest at the end

of the week.

- What'd we do?

- Let's see the ID.

I don't recognize you girls

from around this neighborhood.

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