Multiple Maniacs Page #6

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We don't like your kind

around here much.

If you know what's good for you,

you won't be walking the streets.

Suppose you let me make up

my mind for myself. OK, copper?

Get smart with me lady

I'll run your ass in.

I don't have any ID papers, officer.

But we didn't do anything.

Yet, you mean. I know your type.

You're lezbeen hookers.

We don't like no lezzies

in this neighbourhood

so get on a bus and go uptown

or wherever you came from.

Hey, you're talking to a lady!

You better watch your language, pig,

before I turn you

into a piece of bacon!

Why aren't you out catching

criminals?

- I'm worried about mother.

- For what?

That shithead Mr. David is

giving her trouble.

I told her to get rid of him.

He's an a**hole!

She doesn't need the aggravation.

She's not herself lately.

I mean, she's always jumpy.

But not this bad.

All I can say is I wish

somebody'd give me my pay.

- She'll pay ya.

- But when?

She made plenty in D.C. last week

and she didn't give me a penny.

Maybe this is Mom?

Mom?

- Where's your mother?

- She's out and what do you care?

Don't be smart.

Remember who you're talking to.

-And who's that?

- Your mother's boyfriend, don't forget it.

- I think Mother's forgotten it!

- What's that supposed to mean?

And Ricky, what do you

think you're doing?

Lying here on the couch,

relaxing and taking dope.

Don't you ever wear clothes anymore

or are you some kind of nudist?

You had one trick earlier,

wasn't that enough?

- Really, your mother's employees!

- Get out of my face, will you?

Remember, this is my apartment

and I'm being gracious enough

to let you stay here.

If you ever came to my door alone,

I wouldn't ever answer it.

I wonder how you mother

would appreciate this kind of behaviour!

Lying around all day, screwing

anything that's handy,

taking dope constantly, and stealing

and whoring in the streets at night!

Well I haven't heard

any complaints from her.

And I think she's quite happy

with the way I'm conducting myself.

She told me she thought I was

a very brave and charming young lady

and she also told me

that she had it with you.

You get on her nerves.

Excess baggage!

She's outright this minute

looking for you to tell you

and I'll laugh my ass off when I

see your face after she's through.

All I can say I wish somebody'd

give me my pay.

Nobody's going to so why don't you

just get your clothes on and get out?

- Keep your f***ing mouth shut.

- Don't say "f***" to me!

Look Mr. Fag Man, you didn't hire me

and you're not going to fire me!

Calm down! Calm down!

Sit down!

You'll get your pay,

don't worry about that!

I oughta let him rip your ass

apart. We'll see who gets fired!

Mother doesn't make

many mistakes in her life,

but when she does she sure picks

a lemon. God, you make me puke!

This is my house! I'm trying

to respect my mother's wishes!

I hope she changes her mind about

a few people. I suspect she will!

What's "Mr. Fag Man"'s

supposed to mean?

Just keep your f***ing

mouth shut, alright?

Even if I was a fag, which I'm sure

you realize it's not the case,

you would be my very last choice

as a mate.

Even Liberace would be more

appealing to anyone with the

particular neurosis you so

rudely attribute to me.

Oh, you're both horrible and

disgusting!

I hope you're not here when

I get back.

I don't ever want to see

your faces again.

I hate you! You've driven

me from my own home!

Mr. David!

She saw me, I had to!

Aim at him!

Aim at him!

I thought she was her!

She looked me right in the eye!

- Just aim the gun at him!

- Should I kill him too?

- If he tries anything, shoot him.

- What are you doing?

Being awfully polite now, aren't you?

Get your head down!

Tie him up and

gag him good.

Don't move an inch or she'll

shoot your brains out!

I'm sorry. I know it was dumb

but I saw her and she scared me.

- Who is she?

- Divine's daughter.

I feel kind of bad about it

but everything'll be all right, won't it?

Hurry up! She'll be home any minute.

We've got to hide them.

- He called us lesbians, that pig!

- Cops are always hassling me.

Just 'cos I'm pretty

they think I'm a whore.

As far as being gay, how long

have you been a lesbian?

Gay!? I'm no lesbian.

At least not until a little while ago.

You're the first female I ever

did anything with.

I'm glad I was the one.

Will your boyfriend be mad?

Who knows what that moron

will think?

I can't even think straight

after that copper.

I tell ya, Mink. I got one once.

It was a real kick!

I ran him down in my new Eldorado.

And there was another one,

one time back in California.

He gave me a warning ticket

but I wouldn't take it.

Last goddam warning ticket

he ever gave.

But I never had one with

my bare hands. I'm sure I'd like to.

I just tried to be polite so that

we could get away from him.

I think they have my description

in one of their files.

It's getting so I can't even

step in a First Friday service

without somebody getting

uptight. And now my whole day

is ruined. You had me all

worked up thinking I was

going to perform Extreme Unction

on your boyfriend and his date.

I knew it was too good

to be true.

Don't you worry about that,

honey! We'll get them!

We'll go back to my daughter's

place. They'll be there alright.

You'll love my little Cookie!

I'm so proud of her. A real little lady!

- And who'll you say I am?

- My new girlfriend, Mink.

Here comes that copper again.

I thought I told you

two to beat it.

Officer, we're trying to leave but

we can't find the bus stop.

- We're lost. Will you help us?

- It's up Broadway.

- I thought it was about that way.

- Up where?

Up there!

- Get him, Divine! Get him!

- Help me!

Just like roping hogs, ain't it hon?

C'mon, we've got 2 more dead

creeps waiting up at my place.

Let's put her back there.

God, we have to go through

with it now.

If Lady Divine sees this, she'll die.

She'll be foaming at the mouth.

This excites me, Mr. David.

Does it excite you?

- In what way?

- You know.

- Don't you ever think of anything else?

- Yes, but it's all boring.

- Make sure there is no blood around.

- Get me a rag!

We've got to hurry.

"Arrest Weirdo in Tate Murder".

God, she was lying the whole

time! That cruel b*tch!

"Charles Watson, Patricia

Krenwinkle, Charles Manson".

I never heard of these people!

That lying bastard!

- Lying about what?

- Sharon Tate.

- You knew her?

- Oh, God! Sharon Tate!

God, she's home!

- What should I do, Mr. David?

- I'll cough. That'll be your signal.

I'm nervous, Mr. David.

But it's all for you.

- Where's Cookie?

- She went out.

- Out where?

- Just out, that's all.

That's a lie! Why are you bringing

this slut to my daughter's

apartment?

That's not very polite.

- I notice you're not alone.

- Yeah. Anything to say?

Nothing. I'm just rather

surprised at your taste.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Take it for what it's worth.

Not much, coming from a sh*t

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