My Best Friend Page #3

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my wife then.

- Fire, accident and wife.

- It's... life.

Your phone's always busy,

I've lost you.

When I came here,

I was convinced...

I was the reincarnation

of King Jugurtha.

I'd go to the toilet

and wonder...

how would King Jugartha sit?

Like this?

Like this...

like this.

Have you closed

"shop" downstairs?

I'm closing now...

Hold on.

Hi, Daphne.

I'll call you back.

I've got time to

"shop" at 10.

Now I've got to go shopping

with your wife.

I'm walking on a tighrope here.

Tonight, I'm exterminating

your little "shop."

- All-night shopping?

- Something's bothering her.

- Did you like it?

- The roof therapy? Fine.

In the US, everyone's being

psychoanalyzed on rooftops.

You know, roof therapy...

I'm not ashamed to

shout out my problem.

- I have to shout now?

- Give him some time.

- On tomorrow's roof.

- Okay.

I've got premature

ejaculation!

- Just the two of you? No kids?

- No.

- Only married?

- Only.

Times have changed.

Here today, there tomorrow.

- The kitchen?

- Let's see the bedroom...

The bathroom

is rather cramped.

I don't have a permanent

relationship right now.

- The garden is large.

- Yes, large.

Sign here, please.

Your husband doesn't need

to see it, you said.

- No, he doesn't.

- OK. You've got my cell number.

Let's see

something else.

You're not helping me

help you.

- I can imagine it, but can't...

- Express it?

That's it.

- The fuchsia does things.

- Great things.

Brightens things up, I'd say.

Matches our puppies, too.

- You've got fuchsia puppies?

- The design on my underpants.

Wrap them up

real fancy with ribbons...

and do that thing with

the scissors...

And give me 50

of those cheap panties.

- To be torn off!

- That's it!

- Stella's great, isn't she?

- Yes, she's got something.

And she's a

straight talker.

- See you at the hotel!

- What's up?

- Boys!

- It's Venia!

- Hey, weren't you sailors?

- No, you've mixed us up again.

Here you are again!

Easy women, cheap booze and

and wild sex in the forest...

- Snap out of it.

- I can't take it anymore.

I was with my babe and guess

who I saw...

coming out of a house with a

guy... Our Constantine's wife.

They're all getting laid, man.

- I'll tell you a great joke...

- You just did. I'm laughin'.

I'm off.

- Don't think about it.

- He ruled it out completely.

There are millions

of other doctors.

People have gone all

over the world

to have a child

and they did it.

I know how much

you wanted one.

It'll happen when

it's meant to.

- I love you so much.

- How much?

A lot.

Was my baby quiet

while I was away?

Were you quiet

while I was out?

We have visitors

this afternoon.

A man. Now don't

be jealous.

He looked handsome.

No, not handsome...

Charming?

THODOROS AN AMOURLIDES

PRIVATE IN VESTIG ATOR

Our life revolves

around details.

I don't want my friend

to worry.

- Constantine?

- Yes.

- And the Rumanian woman?

- I want evidence.

I want to show him

photographs.

Photographs.

Front, profile.

I tell it like it is.

I'm not tactful.

If she's got him inside her,

I'll tell you.

I won't beat around

the bush.

Manly stuff.

I'm not tactful.

Don't start tonight

though.

We'll all be

together tonight.

Constantine too. Oh boy.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Constantine!

- Constantine, who?

I found him after

all these years.

I looked him straight in the

eye but he didn't recognize me.

It says "Alekos

Zaharopoulos" here.

He's the one who left.

I'm talking about Constantine.

I told you about him. We were

classmates. Then we lost touch.

My first love!

I need a drink.

I wanted to cry.

And I'm impersonating

Thodoros!

Why? Why?

Because Thodoros died...

and just as well!

- Calm down.

- Why am I impersonating him?

We had to keep this office.

Everyone trusted him.

Yes, but why am I

impersonating him?

You've got two

fat children.

I could live my life

watching him from afar.

Even if I don't marry him,

I'll tail him.

Thodoros,

you're not Thodoros!

You're Lisa.

I'm Lisa.

- Where's Thodoros?

- I'm Thodoros.

And I'm Yolanda.

A lot depends on you.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- It's been a while.

- Come in.

- Do you li e it?

- It's fine.

It's my friend Katy's

apartment.

I guess she paints

in her spare time.

I can't draw

a thing.

Sure are a lot

of paintings.

- Freud. He likes you.

- He smells problems.

A whisky.

If it doesn't work,

we'll use pills.

I like it that you take me

seriously.

So, go on.

I'm all ears.

If there is a beginning...

it began 6 years and

She's crazy about you.

Crazy, I tell you.

"Who's that gorgeous hunk?"

She said.

- She called me gorgeous hunk?

- I swear.

May I never clinch

another insurance contract!

- A Rumanian goddess.

- Rumanian?

So what?

She's a goddess.

Did she really

say that, Daphne?

Daphne found her

a job at the restaurant.

She used to work

with me.

But then she had problems

with her residence permit.

- She's very nice.

- So where did she see me?

Listen,

as we're talking...

she says she'd stay here,

if she met a Greek man.

So I grab the opportunity

and I say...

I have a friend... unmarried.

But she wants to see you, so I

show her that holiday snapshot,

- the one of us on the donkey.

- You showed her that?

All you can see is you

and the donkey.

No, you're in the background,

looking at the camera.

"I want to see him,"

she tells me.

Maybe she'd like me to

come with the donkey?

Do you think this

will work out?

I had a dream about it,

I tell you.

I saw a snowy-white ox

and that only means one thing.

- Marriage.

- Marriage.

- How did I look on the donkey?

- Neat. Now eat your fish.

Go in.

The next day, the ox and

his pal went to a restaurant,

which was anything but

a restaurant.

Come here!

Come back here.

- Where are you going?

- I forgot to put on cologne.

F***, is that such

a problem? Here.

And what's more you didn't

say where we're going.

I'm dressed like

a catholic priest...

about to bless

the outrageous.

Look at me!

We've got big ones.

We're not worried.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

In a week, we

were married.

Her residence permit

was expiring.

And for six years

the marriage was fine?

Sexually, it was fine.

At least,

I thought so...

You didn't notice anything

in the corner of her eye?

I didn't look, but there

was nothing in the middle.

I haven't been

to a sexologist,

but isn't 4 times

a week okay?

- What if she wanted 10 times?

- She never said so.

I'm not saying she went

to him for the extra 6.

The reasons are

always much deeper.

It never occurred to you

that Andrea and Alekos...?

No... no...

Yes.

You don't know when

to stop!

You ate your brother's burgers

and mine!

You ate 8 servings

of french fries!

And you had to top it off with

the last of the spaghetti!

- Thank God, we have no kids.

- I'd like one.

- What does Andrea say?

- No problem.

We haven't taken

it seriously yet.

She'd like

one very much.

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