My Best Friend Page #4

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Where are they?

Please bring me the shampoo.

Darling.

Where's Alekos?

Who knows? Probably chasing

an octopus.

- What's this?

- What?

Here, here.

I... um... sat

on a rock...

I felt something.

A little crab must have

been there and it bit me.

Give me a kiss, come on.

A crab with

a set of human teeth.

If you're in love,

crabs have teeth...

and porcupines

don't have quills.

- A falling star.

- Where?

Well I made a wish.

I don't know if

the star heard it.

Are you going to

be like this all night?

You haven't eaten a thing.

Eat your fish.

So that's why you

wanted me to start tomorrow?

He's always

been like that.

He once hit on me

behind Constantine's back.

Why today?

It's our anniversary.

This has been brewing

a long time.

What's more I don't feel the

same passion, the same love.

This is new. You don't feel the

same passion, the same love?

I've decided to

talk to Constantine.

- "My friend," I'll say...

- Friend, huh?

"I'm screwing your wife."

He could be screwing mine.

I don't like that!

You're not screwing me!

I'm not a fence,

I'm a person!

Why're you shouting?

In bed...

This is a table.

Knives, forks, plates.

I'm dressed,

I'm made-up.

- Am I made-up?

- Yes.

I love Constantine.

Let's go. Now.

I loathe you...

...so much.

- How much?

As the squere block.

Now!

- Little umbrellas.

- I hate them.

I love them. I shouldn't feel

bad that I'm keeping you.

Do I look like I mind?

- You didn't finish about...

- The love affair?

It was great. I was a student

in Germany...

and was vacationing

in Greece.

He left along with the summer

and I never saw him again.

- His name was Alekos too.

- It seems to go with the name.

- What should I do?

- Give it time...

What does time know,

that I don't?

You'll look back on this

one day and laugh.

If I strangled them now,

I'd laugh today.

DRIVE IN:

THE PERVERTED FISHBO WL

What're they doing?

Tell me.

Don't I give you

a good screw?

That's all you

can think of!

Didn't we say I'd be the

brutal exterminator today?

Today we'll play another film.

"Run, Lola Run."

Where are you going?

Get back in here!

Come back, people

are looking at us!

They can see us.

Come here!

Come here!

Come here!

I can't see a thing.

Where are you?

What do you want?

- You've got someone else.

- I want to break up.

Alright, fine.

I'll hear arguements.

What're you staring at?

I've never opened up

to a woman before.

I'm impressed with myself.

I've always said everything

to Alekos.

It's different

talking to a man.

You're not ashamed of telling

him that you're a jerk.

You have to tell a man,

while a woman knows it.

Why do I do this

so well, dammit?

I need an expert

to tell me why?

You swore you wouldn't tell

Constantine anything.

I'll insure this p*ssy.

Forward, soldier,

on to victory!

Go girls before it starts

getting kinky.

- Hey, that's my Vivian!

- Bye, Lilian.

What's the matter?

How can you sleep in your

helmet? Wake up!

What's happening?

Is the enemy here?

You're such a jerk making me

strap myself up here.

I told you I'm afraid of

heights. You take the top bunk.

Have you been

with my Vivian?

Are you kidding?

Before I f*** her,

I always ask first:

"Are you Lilian or Vivian?"

- What does she answer?

- No.

Then why did she ask me

where's the mole on my dick?

- So where did it go?

- Where do you think?

You're the one

with the mole.

Haven't you heard about

the twin syndrome?

Whatever one feels,

the other feels too.

Mine called me Constantine

in bed.

Then she explained

it to me scientifically.

Sometimes she asks me

how the mole got on my dick.

Those twins will drive us

crazy with that mole.

This will really

blow you away...

Last time, mine had an orgasm

without me even touching her.

Obviously yours was having

an orgasm and she felt it.

- On Saturday?

- Yes. Go to sleep.

- Sorry, Alekos.

- That's okay.

You needed to believe him.

You're not so naive.

I'm not, huh?

Just pretending?

You come, we screw, you leave.

That's no relationship.

Don't we smoke

and talk too?

Do we have to talk about

saving the seals?

Not only seals, Alekos,

not only seals...

There's the sea turtle too.

You only know 50 words:

"Baby, you turn me on,

you drive me crazy,

you kill me, take it..."

Our relationship can

be summed up in 50 words.

That's it.

You don't know

basic things about me.

I care about saving the seal,

the orangutango.

- Damn that pronunciation!

- Saving, in general.

Are you ready to face that

they may be madly in love?

Are you kidding?

And you're a psychologist!

I care about even the tiniest

bug in the Amazon!

But when I see you,

I don't think about saving the

penguins dammit! I don't!

Why did God create man

before woman?

First experiments,

then miracles.

Why haven't women

learned how to park?

Why do men honk

their car horn for no reason?

We're not going

to get along.

Good one.

Did my boy buy

panties wholesale?

A gift of 900 panties?

D'you think I'm a whore?

The car has

become an embassy,

but I don't know

of what country.

I forgot to mention...

that was the last time

we made love.

- Just so you know.

- What did she say?

What did you say?

Don't you dare

slam the door on me!

- I've depressed you.

- We'll talk tomorrow.

- Good night.

- Good night.

What?

The paper shredder...

It sucked and chewed it

and almost...

What can I swear on?

Tell me.

I wish I could help but

you've used everything up.

Graves, souls,

there's nothing left, dear.

I won't stoop

to your level.

What can I say?

What can I say?

What can I say?

I M ADE UP WITH:

THE A**HOLE.

LET'S GO TO

AM USEM ENT PARK. VENIA.

LOOK AT THINGS:

WITH HUMOR.

Having a f***, eh?

Having a f***, eh?

Having a f***, eh?

- Take your time.

- I would've told you.

So I'm finding out

quicker this way?

Don't take it personally.

It happens to everyone.

It's the initial shock,

you know.

- What were you saying?

- Don't stop... please.

- I'll cook some eggs.

- Will you eat with us, Alekos?

Oh, alright.

- Put some clothes on.

- He's talking to you.

I'll make some

french fries, too.

- You'll eat some, won't you?

- F*** the fries.

I'll f*** them, because

you've already...

Hey, she didn't go

with a stranger.

- I'm starving.

- It makes you hungry.

You're caressing

my leg.

Play with me, too.

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Was it the last time?

Will it be the last time?

Your coffee, Mr. Alekos.

Take it away!

- What's in the coffee?

- Coffee.

- Apart from coffee?

- Your problem...

that it's not pleasant

when you drink it.

I want us to talk!

You know.

It's not my fault that

I can't get it up.

It might be due to stress,

or pollution...

it could be hereditary,

or due to age.

- There's so much.

- Where are you going?

- Don't be surprised if...

- I get it up?

Heavy stuff so early

in the morning!

I'll drink tea.

Hirohito...

Nagasaki...

f*** me.

rip me apart.

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