My Blue Heaven Page #8

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I'll have to shoot you.

Good.

Kitty. Walter, there's Kitty.

Kitty. Kitty, wait a minute.

Janet. Walter. What in the world

are you doing up here?

We can't go to a nice, cheap dentist,

we have to go to a Fifth Avenue dentist.

Look at the braces, Mrs. Moran.

- Don't they look awful?

- They're not too bad.

Listen, 1500 so she can eat corn off

the cob like a lady, and she complains.

- You know it was your idea.

- Look who's here.

JANET:
Hello.

WALTER:
Give your Uncle Walter...

...a nice toothless grin, huh?

- Mother, isn't she darling?

- Isn't she adorable?

- Are you Kitty Moran?

- Yes.

- See, I told you she was.

- You sure have changed, then.

I saw you on television last night,

and you had dark hair.

WALTER:

Yes, well, she was wearing a toupee.

GIRL:

He's kidding us.

She doesn't even look like Kitty Moran

in the flesh.

- Come on.

- Well, wait a minute, Mary.

- Well, heigh-ho, everybody.

- The little dears.

Oh, it's a cruel world.

I'm off the air five weeks, and bingo.

You should go back to work.

And soon. Without

your legs to speak our lines...

- ... they don't sound so Noel Coward.

- It's a thought.

I wish you would, Mrs. Moran.

I don't like that old Gloria Adams.

- Laura.

- Well, I don't, Mother. She's so pushy.

She acts as if she's in love

with Mr. Moran.

That'll do, Laura.

You said if Mr. Moran

were your husband...

- Laura, be quiet.

- I'm sorry.

Kind of warm for summer, isn't it?

It's all right, I know what your mother

means. I tuned them in myself.

Whether or not,

it's none of our business.

Come on, we gotta catch a bus.

There's a sale at Saks

and I want to get Laura a coat.

- Goodbye, dear.

KITTY:
Bye, Laura.

Goodbye, pet. You must come over

and spill some beans for us sometimes.

- Hi, Gloria.

- Hi, Mac.

- Hi.

- Hi.

GLORIA:

Ready?

As soon as

I get this rope around my neck.

If I lay my hands on who

thought of these...

GLORIA:

I like you in bow ties.

They make you look so young.

Yeah? Well, I'll be an old man

before I get this one on.

GLORIA:

Let me help you.

I'll tie it.

I don't know where they go wrong.

This is as far as I get.

- You look kind of cute today, huh?

- Oh, be still.

If your nose

just turned up a little bitsy bit...

Leave my nose alone.

I bet when you were little you played

the best game of Post Office.

Jack.

You know a good French synonym

for the word:
Phew!

- Oh, darling.

- What's the "oh" for?

I feel like I've been waiting for this

all my life.

I hate to keep a lady waiting.

MAN:
Kitty.

KITTY:
Hello, Joe.

MAN:
You look great.

Where'd you get the coat?

KITTY:

Something I picked up in Bloomingdale's.

- Hi, anybody home?

- Kitty, well, gee, I'm glad to see you.

Come on in.

Yes, let me take your coat off, huh?

My, you do seem glad to see me.

Hi, Gloria.

- I was just helping Jack with his tie.

- How nice.

- Me and bow ties. I never...

- You're bleeding.

- Did you cut yourself?

- No, where?

Wait a minute, let me see.

- Oh, it's only lipstick.

- Lipstick. Well, now, how... Excuse me.

- How do you suppose it got there?

- I can't imagine.

A lovely shade.

What do you call it?

- Careless Lips.

- Careless Lips. What a charming name.

- Is it yours?

GLORIA:
Yes.

JACK:
Gloria.

- It's no use, Jack.

- She'll have to know sometime.

- Know what?

It's nothing.

Gloria and I were kidding...

Please, Jack. Kitty's grown up.

Certainly, I've been grown up

for years.

Kitty...

- ... Jack and I are in love.

- Madly?

Oh, please, don't joke about it.

We've fought it, really we have.

- It's no use.

- I never said anything...

...about love.

Where'd you get that idea?

Don't interrupt, Jack.

I haven't heard gossip for weeks.

- Go ahead, Gloria.

- We've always known it in our hearts.

But we only admitted it today.

I never admitted anything.

How can you just make it up?

There's no reason to get excited.

I'm not getting excited, Kitty.

Excuse me, Gloria.

- I was explaining...

- Later.

Sit down, Gloria.

This is an interesting situation.

- I'd prefer to stand.

- Sit down!

- Don't fight.

- Kitty, if you'll let me explain...

...this thing to you...

[KNOCKING]

Come in.

- Come in.

- Come in.

I've got a couple of changes for...

Kitty!

KITTY:

Hello, Walter.

I thought you'd be home wringing out

diapers. What brings you here?

- I've decided to come back to work.

- To work?

And about time, too,

don't you think so, darling?

- Yes, Kitty. What about the baby?

- Selma's with her.

Tell everybody

I'll do this week's show.

We'll start rehearsing as soon as

we get a little business finished.

Take your time, baby. I wouldn't

think of interfering with business.

See you around, Gloria.

Well, you run along, Walter,

and we'll see you later.

Now, where were we, Gloria?

Oh, yes, about you and Jack.

There's several ways a wife

could look at a situation like this.

- Sure you won't sit down?

- No, thank you.

For instance, I could shoot you both.

The unwritten law, but then,

that's rather uncivilized, isn't it?

If that's your attitude, I'm going.

- Listen...

- Don't go. This is getting interesting.

- Let me say something.

- Later.

This is a problem for Gloria and me.

I don't want to stand

in the way of anyone's happiness.

- We can arrange a nice, quiet divorce.

- Divorce?

You don't wanna commit bigamy. How

inconvenient it would be, two women.

To say nothing of the expense.

Can I get a word in edgewise?

Why, certainly, dear,

if you have a suggestion.

Yes, this whole thing is cockeyed. Sure,

I kissed her. She's kind of a cute kid.

- A little on the goofy side, but...

- Jack.

- Now you've hurt her.

- Well, I'm human.

Stop bragging,

go on with your story.

What I mean is one kiss doesn't mean

a guy wants to start paying alimony.

Especially the first time

he gets caught.

- What am I gonna do now?

- Well, I'll tell you.

In the future,

keep your mind on your job...

...and your hands off my husband.

Because you see, he's not a bit clever.

[GLORIA SOBBING]

Well, shall we get ready to rehearse?

What a life.

A guy can't even pinch a girl

without hearing wedding bells.

- Ow! That hurt.

- I meant it to.

I'll probably have a mark

on me as big as a hen's egg.

That'll give you an idea what'll happen

the next time I catch you being human.

Rhinelander 73200.

Yes, Mrs. Moran will be

on the program tonight.

Yes, sir. We're pleased too.

Rhinelander 73200.

Who? Mrs. Moran?

I'm sorry, she's on-stage.

What? Please don't speak so loudly,

I can't understand you.

What is that about a baby?

What?

Yes, I'll tell her it's very important.

Mac, see if you can get this

to Mrs. Moran right away.

Yeah, ma'am.

OPERATOR:

Rhinelander 73200.

ANNOUNCER:

Ths s Channel 2. WTVW.

Stay tuned for Ktty and Jack Moran...

- I've got a message for Mrs. Moran.

- Too late. They're on.

CHORUS [SINGING]:

Cosmo

[SINGING]

Cosmo Cosmetcs present to you

A takeoff on a muscal

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