My Favorite Five Page #4

I-I'm not...

No. I'm out of here.

Girl, you said you wanted to see

How it's done.

You know what, man?

Don't you worry about me.

I'm gonna be fine.

Yeah, I ain't saying

you wasn't gonna be fine.

I'm telling you

you make a decision

Where you should find a woman,

and you never know.

Anywhere you can find the one.

Ooh.

Sans, I'm a realist, okay?

I'm not one of those guys

like yourself

That thinks

I'm gonna come to some bar

And meet my future wife

eating 50-cent wings

And watching some damn game.

Oh, yes.

You just want to tell everybody

Where I met my wife at?

Huh?

You... we was walking past

the nasty rhino.

You pulled me in there, okay?

And she wasn't dancing at all.

Yeah, she was practicing,

But she wasn't damn dancing,

okay?

You play too much, man.

Look I'm just saying not for me.

I'm not meeting my wife

in a bar,

So I'm just focused on pool.

You prejudiced.

I never thought I'd say it, man.

- How do...

- You're preju...

What would Martin think

right now?

You think he would march

for this bullshit?

Listen, man.

Why... why don't you use all

that energy and all that mouth

To focus on how you are gonna

talk your way

Back into Roxanne's panties

again, huh?

Hold up.

Guess what I'm doing right now.

Uh, not playing pool.

Ignoring you in my business.

Mm-hmm.

Stay out of my damn business.

That's is what you need to do.

And open your eyes.

Have you looked over there

at all?

I'm good.

That woman over there's

been staring at you

For the last five minutes,

brother.

You can't take that as a hint?

Like in a music video

Where you the lead damn singer.

But you can't see that,

can't you?

Hell, no, you can't.

So if you ain't gonna do it

for yourself, brother...

Selfish ass...

Do it for me and all of mankind.

That woman

been flirting with you,

Looking at you, staring at you.

So... watch and learn.

That woman has done

everything except walk over...

Here she comes. Here she comes.

She walking over here.

Yeah! Whoo!

Well, hello there.

Hi. I'm Chris.

I'm hailey. How are you?

Sans.

I normally don't do this...

Mm-hmm.

But my friend over there

Says she really

likes your style.

Over there?

She says she really likes

The way you handle your balls.

The ones on the table.

Oh, right.

'Cause what else

would she be talking about?

Ain't like

I was walking around... out,

You know what I'm saying?

Do you mind

If I bring her over here to...

To maybe watch?

Well, well,

actually, uh, you know, we...

We were just hanging out,

just the fellas, so...

Yeah, we was hanging out

just the fellas,

But now that you done made

that beautiful invite,

I say you go get her

and bring her over here

So she can talk to us, and I can

teach her something maybe.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm about to fight you

right now.

I'm about you fight you

right now.

I'm gonna beat you.

Um, just... one second.

She said,

"I usually don't do this."

Who the...

We know what that mean.

- No, dawg.

- I know what that mean!

We just had this conversation.

Yeah, we did,

but I don't be listening to you.

Yes.

If you don't

get your ass over here...

I'm not going over there.

Yes, you will.

You are the devil to my angel,

The slut to my good girl.

And I need you

to keep his friend occupied.

You're crazy.

I only get down like that

for my man.

What? You don't have a man.

Well, still.

If you don't get over there

Right now, I'll tell your father

About your lesbian

porn collection.

Hailey, I should

tear your little... you...

Okay, fine.

I will give you $500

for the next 30 minutes.

All right,

- let's do this.

- Hailey:

I'm about finished, too.

I'm excited about life itself,

brother.

Just follow my lead.

Mm-hmm. Watch that.

Okay, be quiet, brother.

Hey.

Hi, I'm Sybil.

Hi, this is sans.

Hi, sans. I'm Sybil.

So, uh, what brings you

ladies out tonight?

I don't know.

We're just bored and vulnerable.

Mnh-mnh.

Wipe that smile off your face.

We're not that vulnerable.

Speak for yourself.

I'm feeling kind of funny.

Funny?

Yeah, you know.

Like you're missing something,

But you just don't know

what it is you're missing.

Hmm.

But I bet you'll know

when you find it, huh?

I bet you I would, too.

So, what brings you out?

Uh, well, actually,

We were just, uh,

trying to blow off some steam

After a tough work week.

Oh. Oh, really?

What do you do?

I make video games.

Uh, you might have seen

our logo... gyrate media?

Wow.

I'm just...

No pun intended.

Well, I mean,

that's very interesting.

With the holidays coming up,

business must be great.

Actually, uh,

you know, we had a tough year.

Things are turning around.

Ohh.

You know what,

Sans and I actually grew up

as kids in Seattle.

If you believe it,

he, uh... he used to save me

From the local ass-kickers

when we were little kids.

You don't mind

if I touch on those muscles,

- do you?

- I don't mind.

That's what they there for,

baby. Touch away.

Just don't break your hands

on that.

It's really great that you guys

Are still friends all this time.

No, this fool

isn't just my friend.

He's my business partner.

I am his... shh...

Silent partner, all right?

Chris was always the geek

with the plan.

I just invested in the vision.

That... that boy does it all

right there.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, oh, so you're, like,

A capitalist.

I like that.

Bet you know

how to treat a woman.

Oh, yes.

As a matter of fact, I do.

So you ladies up to learn

- how to play some pool or what?

- Yes.

Ooh, I've been

trying to play pool all night.

You gonna teach us?

- I sure will.

- Okay.

Show us

what you're working with.

It's pretty easy.

What you want to do

is glide the stick slowly,

Gently through your hands.

You know what I mean?

Ooh, can I borrow your stick?

Of course you can.

Okay.

Oh, you've played before, huh?

Yeah.

Like this?

Yeah, a lot like... like that.

That could be cool.

Or, like, like, I don't know.

That's a good...

That, right... that...

That right there's

straight, too.

A little lower?

Not a li... no lower.

Okay.

Is this how you do it, sans?

Ahh, is this right?

I... i don't... it feels...

Feels right, looks right.

Ahh.

No, right.

Could you not be so...?

Ohh!

Oh, that feels fine.

He... he left?

Yep.

I'm going.

Nice meeting you, Christopher.

Uh, okay.

- Uh...

- Well, I guess

- it's just us.

- You know what?

It's... it's...

It's getting late.

Uh, and I should probably

head out, too.

Really?

Wow, that's a first.

No, no, I don't...

I don't... i definitely don't

mean anything personal by that.

I actually,

uh, have a long day tomorrow.

Okay.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

It was nice to meet you, too.

Good night.

Hmm.

- Like this?

- All right.

- We're gonna do this again.

- All right.

All right? Feet wide apart.

- Yep.

- All right.

- Grab the racket.

- Racket.

Just choke down on the racket.

Choke down on the racket.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

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