My Fellow Americans Page #7

who still believes in us.

After all the scandals and

the party politics and all the bull...

...someone out there believes we care

and will do what we promise.

And that's what I'm doing now.

I'm doing what I promised.

Preserve, protect and defend.

Because if we lose that...

...idealistic, gloriously

deluded fool out there, hey...

...it's all over.

Thank God you never spoke

like this during our debates.

My margin of loss

would've been staggering.

All right.

Let's do it.

You sure?

If I can ride 300 miles at top speed

holding onto a lesbian's midsection...

...I can handle Tanner.

If we do get to Haney.

...how do we know he'll cooperate?

I'm bringing Witnaur with us.

Learn from the master.

Gentlemen...

...Kaye's on her way over.

Change of plans. Mr. Kramer and

Mr. Douglas are going to Washington.

Kramer and Douglas broke into

Witnaur's house and kidnapped him.

We're just now hearing about it?

His lady called the White House.

- They thought it was a prank.

- Enough.

We better button up the White House.

If they get to the president...

...the game's over.

'Morning, Rita.

How're you?

I'd be doing better if I had

your blueberry muffins.

Soon as I tend to the president,

I'll see what I can do.

What's back there?

Picked up a lot of fresh produce

at the farmer's market.

Have a pick if you like.

That's okay, Rita.

You have a good one.

Thanks.

"Have a pick if you like"?

- You're lucky I didn't have a stroke.

- Wasn't that little risky?

Mr. Presidents, please hush up.

If you're in my car, you're produce.

Mr. President...

...we're ready' sir.

The ceremony honoring the Dutch

resistance during World War II?

Highlight of my day. Who cares

about the damn Dutch anyway?

Vice President Mathews is going?

Let's avoid a possible

embarrassment, okay?

Remind him these people are from

the Netherlands, not nether regions.

Oh, and...

...have we heard from Witnaur?

No, Mr. President.

Thank you.

Gather around everyone.

The tour's about to begin.

Come on in.

Come in, you in the back.

We can't go that way.

A million people come to

the White House every year.

Better smile, they'll know

we're here in ten seconds.

Come on.

Are you ready for the tour?

- What are you doing?!

- It's the only way we'll get to Haney.

Mr. President...

...and Mr. President.

The tour guides are the hardest

working people in the White House.

As a way of saying "Thank you"...

...President Kramer and I

lead your tour ourselves.

We'll what?

You get the Oval Office...

Who knows this place better than us?

Let's go. Gather around.

Follow your presidents.

Come along.

This is going to be fun for you.

...they're in.

- How?

- They used the tour.

This is the Green Room.

- It's a room

- it's green.

Hence the name.

- Any questions?

- Not me.

Okay, shall we?

That's it?

Go, go, go.

We grab them as soon as we can.

Lots of people have seen them.

They met here to take the chopper

to the ceremonies...

...where the president

was to meet them later.

The crash site is still secure

We just adjust the time of the crash.

It could work.

I'll stay near Hayne.

As soon as you get them, call me.

Occasionally we. use this

as a shortcut to the Oval Office.

Let's pick up the pace.

The older folks are dragging us down.

There's no way they can

get out of the building.

We've sealed off the West Wing.

Guest quarters.

Unlock the door.

Come on.

That desk belonged to Jefferson.

The Declaration of Independence

could have been written on it.

Tom isn't here to help me

pick it up, so move your ass!

Mr. Presidents, please!

When we think of the Netherlands,

no doubt we have images of...

...a tranquil land dotted

with picturesque windmills.

Good. Secure the room,

but do not move in until I get there.

And Wilkerson, call the press.

I found Haney. He's on the South Lawn.

I don't like this.

They've pinned us here for 15 minutes.

What're they doing?

Preparing for our funeral.

The report just came in

from the White House.

The helicopter went down

over the Blue Ridge ountains.

President Kramer and President Douglas

were reportedly on board.

Search teams are speeding to the area.

Phone's dead.

What are you doing?

During my years here, a butler told me

about a secret door in this room

The "Kennedy Door" he called it.

I think it was just a story.

It's here

I almost forgot.

What are you looking at?

You been down to the farmer's

market lately? it's brutal.

I used this thing for a couple of

midnight rendezvous.

I'll never forget this one girl-

She was a stewardess.

I don't need to know.

She was also a contortionist.

Go on.

She- Later.

Right now, we must

get to that ceremony.

If we can get ourselves seen

on TV everyone will know...

...we're not dead in the mountains...

...and tanner is out of business.

Break it.

Where the hell are they?

Hurry up.

Be glad I'm not Gerry Ford. We would

be lying at the bottom of the stairs.

It's been a while, but I think

the way out is down to the left.

God, this whole thing is crazy.

I can't figure how a twisted psycho

like Tanner end up in the NSA.

I know. Why isn't he

in the postal service where he belongs?

Great.

"down and to the left. "

Oh, cork it.

It's not the end of the world.

Hello, sirs.

No need for concern

it's only me, the twisted psycho.

We won't have a long chat.

I don't think I can stand to listen

to you for another second.

I'll just kill you.

Who goes first?

The old man, or the ladies' man?

Nice work, Russell.

Thank you.

I must change my shorts now.

Pennsylvania Avenue's almost clear.

Here we are.

Watch it, watch it.

It's the North Lawn. We're on

the other side of where we want to be.

Good going.

I didn't build the damn tunnel

- Now what?

- Who am I, f***ing MacGyver?

I make this up as I go along.

Over there!

Hang on!

Hold it! Stop right there!

Get off the horse!

We can't get cars through the block.

Run after them, I'll cut them off.

When this is over, let's come back

and look for my balls.

Mr. Presidents, stop!

Marksmen, intruders, North Lawn.

This is Tanner going to intercept.

Shoot to kill!

We're moving into position now.

Wait, hold your fire.

That's Presidents Kramer and Douglas.

That's impossible!

The presidents are dead!

Shoot them!

Repositioning to the south.

These people, bound by love of country,

risked their lives

Open the gate!

Nice horsey.

Oh, God!

On your command, sir.

I gave you a direct order! Shoot!

Lieutenant Fleming...

...request... permission to shoot.

Duck!

It was a struggle for democracy.

For truth

We must fire, sir!

It was a struggle

between life and death.

Those are the presidents.

In conclusion, I'd like to say that...

...it is our pleasure to welcome...

...these Dutch resistance fighters

here-

Would somebody go collect Blinky?

Let him come ahead.

What a surprise!

Ladies gentlemen

President Matthew Douglas.

Thank you. Thank you.

We have to talk...

...now.

Haney had to spin-dry

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