My Friend Irma Page #7

a big one. A little one couldn't handle it.

Well, let's go in, shall we?

We don't want to miss the show.

Certainly not. Park the car, son.

Don't give me any of that

"park the car" stuff.

- Don't be a big man with me, Al.

- Please, I'm going to miss the show.

I'm supposed to be the show. Half at least.

Steve and me are a team.

To me this is not equal billing.

Just be patient, Seymour.

Your time will come.

Remember, Rome was not built in a day.

I'm standing out here freezing,

and this guy gives me proverbs.

- Park the car!

- Park the car!

I knew you were going to say that.

Listen to me, Al...

Take it easy, Seymour. On the next job,

you will be the main feature.

Steve will be nothing.

That's the way I like to hear you talk.

Remember, I am a great actor.

Know it, son. Know it.

In the meantime, park the car.

That's what I say, park the car.

What, do you two guys have a one-track

mind? Park the car. I'll park the car.

You blow your whistle.

Let me worry about the car.

Why do you push?

Are you crazy or something?

It's nice of you to come down

for the opening show.

What happened, slumming?

Al and Irma shanghaied me.

All the time,

I thought you came down to see me.

It's only powder.

I thought it was a little gold dust

that had brushed off.

- I thought you wanted to dance?

- Okay, I'll be good.

Rich, my boy, let me put another head

on that champagne.

No, wait a minute, Al.

I think I've had enough.

I don't want to wake up in the morning,

scratching my head way out to here.

Don't worry, Mr. Rhinelander, with

your money, you can get a hat any size.

You get it? Ain't that rich?

You know what? I think I'm gonna relax

and just have a lot of fun.

Missed it.

You seem to have been doing all right

while we were dancing.

- I'm just helping Richard to relax.

- And am I relaxing!

Thank you, Mr. Rhinelander,

for the use of your dancing partner.

Not at all, just call me Richard.

Come over here and have a drink. Come on.

No, thanks just the same,

but I've got to go to work.

You gotta work. All right.

Ladies and gentlemen,

in line with our policy...

of bringing you the best of entertainment,

we present Steve Laird.

I was once a melancholy sad one

Nothing seemed to be worth a whit

Now this melancholy one is such a glad one

And my lamp of love is lit

You're it

See it in your smile

I hear it in your sigh

That we have found a feeling

Higher than high

My own

my only, my all

Kindled by your kiss

The warmth of your embrace

The luster of the lovelight

Lightin' your face

My own

my only

my all

Knock on wood

As well I should

For all that you're making of me

Never thought you'd love me

But you do, you do

And when I look up at the stars

And ask them all what's new

They join me in the answer

"Darling it's you"

My own, my only

my all

- Terrific, ain't he, Rich?

- Yeah, he's great.

- What do you think, Jane?

- He's just another singer.

My wife left her handkerchief

in the glove compartment of my car.

It's that green sedan, back against the wall.

Get it, please?

Yes, sir.

These convertibles never stand up.

Here's a toast to the most

romantic intention

It's that art of the heart

Most worthy of mention

So pay attention

Here's to love

Here's to love

Here's to all that love can stand for

It's a wishful wonderland for just you

Here's to love

Here's to love

There's a magic touch about it

And you're nothing much without it

It's true

It's the feeling lovers swear by

Whereby they celebrate

Those who find it thereby

Are feeling only great

And lately I kind of sigh

When I see you smiling by

Is this love that's growin'

Yes, it's love, it's showing

Here's to love

Here's to life with you

Here's to love

Here's to love

That's a thing for jerks and rabbits

Gets you in the darndest habits

It's bad

Here's to love

Nah, love

Makes you feel you're short on plasma

I can feel the same with asthma

it's sad

It's like sweet cream sour turning

Jelly on your moustache

And when it starts you burning

You wind up just an ash

In the fireplace

I'd rather sigh

Over hot corned beef on rye

Who wants love?

I'm lazy

Who needs love?

Who's crazy?

Here's to love

Here's to life

Alone

It's a summer night in Paris

Fiesta in San Jose

A 'andsome tweed by 'Arris

The road to Mandalay

So lately I kind of sigh

When I see you smiling by

Is this love that's growing

Yes, it's love it's showing

Here's to love

Here's to life

With you

He's wonderful.

Richard, don't you think we'd better go now?

No, Jane, we've still got time

for another round...

another round, another round, haven't we?

Sure. Jane, we were just getting around

to discussing a little deal.

Yeah. Say, I've got a wonderful idea.

Let's all go up to my place afterwards

for a nightcap, huh?

Terrific. Terrific.

Well, I think that would be...

No, thanks. I have a headache, I guess.

Well, good night, Al.

Well, okay. Be talking to you, Rich.

Come on, Chicken.

Wonderful people.

You know, I think Irma's

not only sweet and brilliant...

but Al is as honest as the day is long.

- Wonderful people.

- Just dropped by to say good...

When did he trade the eyes

for the glass ones?

Don't be silly. Mr. Rhinelander is not drunk.

He's just resting.

Really? It's been a pleasure meeting you,

Richard.

- Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you, Al.

- AI?

Jane, are you sure he's able

to drive you home?

Drive her home? Why, the way I feel,

I could drive her to Cleveland.

Let's go.

Well, that's me, never a date

but always a chauffeur.

This is it.

- Be careful with him, Steve.

- Be careful of him?

What about me?

Go on, Steve, get up.

No, make him get up.

Come on, now.

I'd like to see you carry him for a while.

You'll have to excuse us now.

- Jane?

- Out here.

- He's all wrapped up and tucked away.

- Thanks, Steve.

You know, given half a chance,

I'm an obliging guy.

It's beautiful up here, isn't it?

- It's just like I always dreamed it would be.

- Yeah.

He seems to like you, too.

You see, Steve, it's like I told you

up on the roof at our place.

These are the things that I want...

- It's pretty.

- My mother left it to me.

I wouldn't want you to think

that I was a gold digger...

but it's just a question of wanting

something and then going after it.

And if you're figuring

on someday getting married...

then you might as well figure

on marrying somebody instead of nobody.

- You know?

- Yeah.

I don't mean that a girl should marry

for money, exactly.

Of course not.

But what's wrong with a girl,

maybe, falling in love with a guy that's...

got it, you know?

And don't tell me that it's harder

to fall in love with a wealthy guy than it is...

with a poor guy, because that's silly.

Isn't that silly?

It's just too silly to even talk about.

So that's why I figure that maybe someday

Richard and I could be...

Could be...

Steve, don't. Please, just stop that.

Just go away.

- Jane, I love you.

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