Mystery Men Page #3

SHOVELER:

Leave him alone. She's his mother, not yours.

FURIOUS:

We had an off night, that's all.

SHOVELER:

So when are we gonna have an on night?

A WAITRESS is standing at the table.

WAITRESS:

Hi.

They look at her, taken aback. She's very pretty.

RAJA:

You're... new.

WAITRESS:

It's my first night. My name's Monica.

CLOSE ON FURIOUS, smitten by her, but almost afraid to look at her.

Under all that rage, he's in fact shy.

MONICA:

You guys going to a costume party?

RAJA:

We're superheroes.

MONICA:

Really? Like Captain Amazing?

Furious growls.

MONICA:

Are you famous?

RAJA:

Not yet.

MONICA:

So you're like... struggling superheroes?

RAJA:

We prefer to think of ourselves as unsung... I

am the Blue Raja, Master of Silverware...

(does a very impressive

little flipping thing with

his place setting)

MONICA:

Wow.

RAJA:

And these are my associatiates, the Shoveler.

SHOVELER:

Hi.

RAJA:

And Mister Furious... His anger is his power.

MONICA:

(intrigued by Furious)

Really?

RAJA:

Usually a superpower is a magical endowment or

a great skill. In his case, it's entirely

emotional.

MONICA:

So what can I get you?

RAJA:

Burgers all around.

(meaning himself)

Medium.

(meaning the Shoveler)

Rare.

(meaning Furious}

Raw.

A moment later as Monica walks away, Furious can't help but

watch her. The Raja replaces the diner's dinnerware with the good

stuff from his coat.

RAJA:

She likes you.

SHOVELER:

Definitely.

RAJA:

Ask her out.

FURIOUS:

Nah.

RAJA:

Roy, when was the last time you had an actual

date?

FURIOUS:

(getting very pissed off)

What does it matter? Women just want to

control you--and talk about their feelings.

They want to know why you're angry all the

time--and what can they can do to help--so you

tell them there's nothing--nothing--just leave

me alone--but they bug you and they bug you and

they bug you--until you just can't stand it

anymore!--so you finally open up--you pop like

a blister--and it all comes spewing out--all

your emotions--your feelings--your fears--all

of it!

(after a beat)

And then they dump you.

RAJA:

So you're chicken?

FURIOUS:

(fiercely)

Who's chicken?

(gets up)

Monica stands at the counter placing her order. Furious approaches

her, leans against the counter. For a moment he just stands there,

fuming, unable to think of anything to say. She isn't sure what to make

of this.

FURIOUS:

Doesn't it piss you off the way the when you

really want to talk to somebody you can't think

of anything to say!

MONICA:

I guess... Are you always so angry?

FURIOUS:

Only when I'm awake... You busy after work?

She shrugs.

FURIOUS:

Want to go out and get drunk?

She's visibly turned off by that.

FURIOUS:

Or talk?

MONICA:

Not tonight.

(picks up an order and walks away)

EXT. OUTSIDE THE DINER - LATER

Furious, the Raja, and the Shoveler step out.

RAJA:

Maybe you should try a more romantic approach.

FURIOUS:

(gets on his old Harley)

Like what? Cutting off my own ear?

RAJA:

Or flowers.

FURIOUS:

See ya tomorrow.

Furious kicks his engine started and speeds off into the night as the

Shoveler opens the door of his battered Ford Esquire station wagon, and

the Raja gets into his ancient Datsun.

EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - NIGHT

The Shoveler pulls into the driveway of his very modest house. The

front yard looks like a battle zone. Bikes and kids' junk are

everywhere.

LIVING ROOM - A MOMENT LATER

as big a disaster area as the front yard. His kids, EDDIE JR. (15),

LENORE (12), BUTCH (10), TRACY (7), and ROLAND (5) are all sprawled in

front of the television. The Shoveler enters, and his kids don't even

bother to look up from the tube.

SHOVELER:

Hey, when are you guys gonna clean this place

up?

TRACY:

When you're on TV.

EDDIE JR.

Right--like that will ever happen.

LENORE:

Save any babies lately?

ON THE SHOVELER, silent, hurt.

TRACY:

Faster than a speeding turtle--

BUTCH:

More powerful than a deodorant--

EDDIE JR.

Able to eat twelve donuts in a single sitting--

LENORE:

Look, snoring in his chair--

EDDIE JR.

Sitting on the john--

ALL:

It's... Supergut!

The kids all laugh (in that derisive way that kids do so well) as the

Shoveler dejectedly walks into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - A MOMENT LATER

The Shoveler enters, dejected. His wife, Lucille, is doing the dishes.

She looks up, sees him.

LUCILLE:

(feels for him)

Rough night, Eddie?

He nods.

EXT. THE RAJA'S HOUSE - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

The Raja's Datsun is parked in front of a neat as a pin little

Victorian house.

INT. THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The room is dark. Someone is sneaking around. A drawer is quietly

opened, and we hear the gentle clink of silver. Suddenly, the light

goes on and we see the Blue Raja, now dressed in a sport shirt and

slacks, with his hand in the drawer. His MOTHER, in her nightclothes,

stands by the door where she has just switched on the light.

MOTHER:

Jeffrey!

RAJA:

Oh hi, Mom.

MOTHER:

What are you doing in the silver drawer?

RAJA:

Looking for... the TV Guide.

She just looks at him, very suspicious.

MOTHER:

It's on the television.

RAJA:

Of course. I'm such a fool... Thanks, Mummy.

Go to bed.

He kisses her and goes into the next room. CAMERA HOLDS ON MOM; she

doesn't trust him.

EXT. HILLTOP - NIGHT - ANGLE ON

A billboard overlooking the city. Captain Amazing is posed wearing a

pair of bright blue Nikes. The caption reads. "It's a nice world.

Sonebody's got to save it... The Nike Supershoe. It's Amazing."

Furious sits on his Harley, taking long hauls from a pint bottle of

cheap bourbon and gazing up at the sign.

FURIOUS:

Amazing? What's so amazing about him? I'd be

amazing, too, if I'd inherited two hundred

million bucks... or two bucks... or two

cents...

(hurls the empty bottle, smashing

it against the sign)

Who am I kidding? Dreams don't come true.

A moment of despondency, and then he hears a strange sound overhead and

looks up...

HIS POV -

as something suddenly flies across the star filled night sky above

him...

It is Captain Amazing, wearing a high tech rocket pack on his back...

FURIOUS:

Where's he going?

(kicks his Harley started)

SERIES OF SHOTS - WITH MUSIC

as Furious, following Captain Amazing, rides roughshod down the steep

hill, skidding onto a road and then speeding through a residential

area...

He cuts onto some railroad tracks, hops his bike up on a rail, and

rides smoothly along it, following Amazing... He turns off the tracks,

rides roughly through some woods, then emerges from the trees and

sees..

A foreboding looking old mansion... Captain Amazing lands on the

highest part of its roof... Furious pulls up, gazes at the front gates

of the mansion...

HIS POV -

Letters across the iron gates read... "Frankenstein".

EXT. ON THE ROOF - CONTINUOUS

Captain Amazing abandons his jet pack and moves across the old slate

roof like Spiderman, leaping nimbly from gable to gable and walking

along a high ridge like a tight rope walker. Finally he approaches a

skylight, looks down and sees...

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