Mystery Men Page #4

A huge old library with an iron catwalk running around it. Casanova

Frankenstein sits in a club chair by a roaring tire. Anabel perches on

the arm of his chair. In the other chair sits a once good looking, now

paunchy guy, with a meticulously coiffed haircut. He is TONY

POMPADOUR, head of the infamous Disco Boys.

0N CAPTAIN AMAZING

AMAZING:

(just as he suspected)

Uh-huh.

He sees that the skylight is open, and quietly lets himself in...

INT. THE LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS

Casanova and Tony P savor glasses of brandy and puff on big cigars.

CASANOVA:

I hope you enjoy these cigars. I had to kill a

dozen Cubans to get them.

TONY P:

Ummm.

CASANOVA:

Have you considered my offer?

TONY P:

You know, Mr. F, me and the boys always loved

workin' for you. You had such style: the

clothes, the dancin', the elegant way you'd

snuff a babe. You were the King...

Casanova accepts this graciously.

TONY P:

But times have changed, and you been in that

bug house a long tine. I can see you still got

the style, but I dunno for sure you still got

the edge.

CASANOVA:

I got it.

TONY P:

What about Captain Amazing?

AMAZING (O.S.)

Good question.

Casanova and Tony P look up and see Captain Amazing, posed noncalantly

on the iron catwalk, gazing down at them. Tony P jumps out of his

chair, scared. But Casanova just smiles at his ancient rival, cool as

a cucumber.

CASANOVA:

I knew you'd cone. I left that skylight open

for you.

AMAZING:

I know you did.

CASANOVA:

I knew you'd know.

AMAZING:

I know you knew I'd know.

CASANOVA:

But did you know I knew you'd know I'd know?

AMAZING:

Of course.

Tony P makes a move for his pistol, but Captain Amazing instantly whips

out his pistol, getting the drop on him.

AMAZING:

I'd hate to waste a good bullet on a piece of

scum like you, Tony.

Tony freezes.

AMAZING:

The jig is up, Casanova. I've spent six months

watching you, and know exactly what you're up

to.

CASANOVA:

Really?

AMAZING:

I know that you're recruiting your old

henchmen...

Nervous reaction from Tony P.

AMAZING:

I know who your girlfriend really is...

Icy reaction from Anabel.

AMAZING:

And I know the terrible revenge that you plan

to inflict on this city.

CASANOVA:

I guess you know just about everything, don't

you, Lance?

AMAZING:

Um-hmm.

CASANOVA:

Except for one little thing.

AMAZING:

(supremely confident)

And what's that?

CASANOVA:

That I've hot wired the city's entire power

supply through that catwalk.

AMAZING:

What--?

Casanova suddenly throws a secret breaker switch, and the ugly hum of a

million volts instantly fills the room...

EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS - ON FURIOUS

still watching... as all the lights in the house go out, except for a

frightening orange glow in an upper room...

Off in the distance Furious sees... the lights of the entire city

flicker and then black out... A moment later the mansion, and the

city's lights return to normal... as Furious watches, not sure what to

make of this.

EXT. STREET CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

Traffic is snarled. Horns are blasting. Tempers are frayed.

CLOSE ON A HAMMERING JACKHAMMER... CAMERA WIDENS TO REVEAL that it is

being operated by the Shoveler, dressed in work clothes. Wiped out

from the night before, the vibrations of the hamer are lulling him off

to sleep... He nods out... as his BOSS whacks him on the arm.

BOSS:

YO! CAPTAIN SOMINEX! Get your shut-eye at

home, or you'll be a full time superhero!

EXT. THE RAJA'S HOUSE - DAY - ESTABLISHING

INT. THE RAJA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The Raja lies sprawled on his bed, depressed, still in his pee jays, as

he watches... an ANTHONY ROBBINS infomercial ON THE TV.

ANTHONY:

It's all within your power. The only thing

that's in your way is YOU!

RAJA:

Easy for you to say.

EXT. SALLY'S AUTO DEMOLITION - DAY - ESTABLISHING

An auto junkyard and demotion yard.

EXT. THE YARD - DAY

A giant press mashes an old car... while nearby Mister Furious does the

job by hand, demolishing an old Grand Prix with an iron bar. He does

it as easily as a normal guy would tear apart a corrugated box, ripping

off the doors, then tearing off the bumpers and the hood and tossing

the pieces onto a big pile... His big boned, red faced boss SALLY is

calling out to him.

SALLY:

Hey, Roy!

EXT. THE BACK OF THE YARD - A MINUTE LATER

In a weedy overgrown far corner of the junkyard Sally and Furious stand

looking a big old hunk of a military vehicle. It is a Herkimer Battle

Jitney, a heavily armored, windowless, soundproof, personnel carrier

(designed by the Pentagon in the fifties to take congressmen on

battlefield fact finding tours). Overgrown with weeds, home to an

extended family of pigeons, its fighting days (if it ever had any) are

over.

SALLY:

How many times I gotta tell you about this?

FURIOUS:

Sally, that's a Herkimer Battle Jitney! They

don't make 'em like that anymore. It's a

classic!

SALLY:

It's a hunk of junk. I want the iron. Do it!

She walks away. Furious growls. He picks up his iron bar and is about

to wedge it under the front bumper of the Herkimer...

HIS POV -

But the big old headlights and the sad old grill seem to be looking at

hint, imploring him for one last chance...

And he just can't do it. He throws away his iron bar and climbs inside

the cab of the Herkimer...

IN THE CAB - CONTINUOUS

Furious sits behind the wheel and tenderly touches its beat-up old

dashboard, then turns on the radio, which, miraculously still works.

He tunes in a local station, puts his feet up on the dash.

RADIO ANNOUNCER:

...and continues to deny any knowledge of the

incident... In local news, millionaire Lance

Hunt has apparently disappeared...

ON FURIOUS, taking immediate notice.

RADIO ANNOUNCER:

Members at his household told police that the

playboy philanthropist failed to return home

last night after "going out for a walk".

Police say they have no reason yet to suspect

foul play, but a search is under way...

INT. THE DINER - NIGHT

Furious, the Shoveler, and the Raja all sit at their booth.

FURIOUS:

I saw him go in--and he didn't come out!

RAJA:

But we don't know for sure it's the same guy.

Furious groans.

SHOVELER:

Hey, look.

ON THE TV -

Casanova is being interviewed by DON STOUFFER, the local Mike Wallace.

CASANOVA:

Well, Don, I've done some terrible things in my

life, but now I'm cured, and I just want to

give back something to my old home town...

That's why I'm using what's left of my fortune

to build...

CLOSE ON A MODEL of a huge concrete bunker-like institutional structure

(i.e. the Getty)

CASANOVA (O.S.)

The Frankenstein Center for the Arts.

DON:

You've changed, haven't you?

CASANOVA:

Oh yes.

BACK ON FURIOUS, RAJA, and SHOVELER -

FURIOUS:

No he hasn't.

EXT. FRANKENSTEIN MANSION - NIGHT - ANGLE ON

the wall of the estate... as our heroes' three heads rise up over

it... and survey the grounds.

FURIOUS:

(about to climb over)

Let's go.

RAJA:

(in a whisper, holding him back)

Wait!... Look!

THEIR POV -

A group of men are hanging around the door to the house, smoking,

chatting, and laughing. A CLOSER ANGLE REVEALS that they are all

dressed in the height (or depths) of seventies disco fashion. One of

them is showing off some steps.

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