Nanny McPhee Returns Page #5

---

They can climb trees.

Stop telling fibs.

Pigs don't climb trees.

Stop being so silly.

But we're not!

He's only trying to

get a bit more for them,

and quite right, too.

Clever things, are pigs.

(LAUGHlNG)

Thank you.

All right, come on.

l knew a pig once,

could count to

10 in French.

Really?

No.

Come on, let's go.

Look here.

MACREADlE

Climbing trees?

The very idea.

lt was climbing trees.

lt was.. .

lt was true.

lt was true.

lt was like.. .

CYRlL:
They were

climbing trees.

CELlA:
A pirouette.

lt was like.. .

lt was like magic.

Yes. Like.. .

Magic.

(LAUGHS)

l'm so proud of you.

Let me hug you.

ls that.. .

ls that my wedding dress?

lt was our fault.

We spoiled Celia's.. .

No, it's my fault.

l borrowed it

without asking.

l didn't mean to

chase the piglets in it.

l'm terribly sorry.

Where's the veil?

We used it to

catch the piglets.

CYRlL:
lt's here.

lt was my fault,

l'm afraid.

We needed a net.

Sorry.

Well, l never.. .

How clever you all are.

l'll tell you what.

Tomorrow, we'll jolly

well have a picnic,

and after l've

paid up the tractor,

we'll use the extra pennies

for ginger beer.

Hooray!

Hooray!

Ginger beer?

Ginger beer?

Lesson three,

to help each other,

is complete.

(SQUEALlNG)

(EXHALlNG)

Clever things, pigs.

(CLlCKlNG TONGUE)

VlNCENT:
Bye-bye, Pillow.

Bye-bye, Dora.

Bye-bye, piggies.

(CAR HONKlNG)

Mummy!

Look, it's Mummy.

See, l told you she'd come.

Ceels, don't.

Mummy, you'll never guess.

We just rescued

some little pigs.

They were dancing and.. .

Where's Mummy?

Her Ladyship's still

in London, Miss Celia.

But did you give

her my message?

l did, Miss Celia.

Has she sent you

to bring me home?

Regretfully not,

Miss Celia.

My only instructions

was to bring the pumps

you left behind.

Fontarelli, l believe.

l suppose

she's very busy.

That's right, Miss.

She's very, very busy.

CYRlL:
What are you

gawking at?

We're not some

freak show, you know.

Cyril, we didn't

mean to be.. .

Get away!

You don't know

anything about us.

(lNHALlNG SHARPLY) Hmm.

l don't want them.

Can l look at them?

(GASPlNG SOFTLY)

l don't care for them.

You can have them,

if you want.

These are my best,

but you can have

them for everyday.

(BlG BAND MUSlC PLAYlNG)

(CHlLDREN LAUGHlNG)

You're it!

l'm gonna get you for that,

Vinnie! You're it!

lSABEL:
Come and pass around

these buns we made.

(GlGGLlNG)

Not yet. Not yet.

Oh, look, Mr. Docherty.

How thoughtful.

They've put out cushions.

You see, Mrs. Docherty,

l regret to inform you

that's a cow pat,

not a cushion.

Oh.

Can't l sit on it anyway?

lt looks so comfortable.

MR. DOCHERTY:
Oh.

There we are.

Um.. .

Can you help me down?

Thank you.

(SQUlSHlNG)

There.

Yes, it's very comfy.

You going to sit down?

There we are.

Would you like a bun,

Nanny McPhee?

l think l better not.

Thank you.

(EDELWElSS BURPlNG)

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Get away with you,

Mr. Edelweiss,

you revolting bird.

Get off.

l don't want you there.

What's he done to make you

so cross with him?

He eats inappropriate

substances.

(BURPS)

l'm so sorry.

Such as?

Such as window putty.

(CONTlNUES BURPlNG)

Oh!

Window putty?

Such as the window putty

in every single one

of my window panes,

which all fell out at once.

(BURPlNG)

Oh, please.

That's bad.

l don't care how

much you love it,

you deplorable creature.

lt is a nasty habit.

What are all

your medals for,

Nanny McPhee?

(EDELWElSS HlCCUPS)

Courage, kindness, resolve,

imagination, enthusiasm,

basket-work

and leaps of faith.

lSABEL:
Sandwiches!

CHlLDREN:
Hooray!

ln my.. . (CLEARlNG THROAT)

ln my capacity as warden,

Mrs. Green,

might l suggest that

you provide the family

with protective head gear

in case of bombs

dropping all of a sudden?

Mrs. Docherty and l

wear these at home.

l don't think bombs

are going to drop

in this part of the country,

Mr. Docherty.

We're in the middle

of nowhere.

Well, that is

where you're possibly,

even tragically, mistaken.

Picture this.

An enemy plane,

(MlMlCKlNG PLANE)

carrying an enemy bomb.

(EXHALlNG)

An enemy pilot (GRUNTlNG)

with a bad cold.

They get them, you know,

same as we do.

He sneezes once,

(MlMlCKlNG SNEEZE)

nothing occurs.

He sneezes a second time,

(MlMlCKlNG SNEEZE)

again, all is well.

He sneezes a third time,

and watch very carefully now,

(MlMlCKlNG SNEEZE)

(EXCLAlMS)

he hits the big red button

with his big red nose,

and it's

(MlMlCS HATCH OPENlNG)

bombs away!

(MlMlCS BOMB WHlSTLlNG)

Oh, kettle's boiled.

(MlMlCKlNG EXPLOSlON)

Big bang, you see.

Oh, dear,

what a thought.

We'll just have to hope

that none of them

catches a cold, won't we,

Mrs. Docherty?

Egg and cress

or bloater paste?

Ham.

VlNCENT:
Norman,

watch me do a handstand.

(LAUGHlNG)

(BOTH CHEERlNG)

(GROWLS)

(SHRlEKS)

Shoo! Shoo!

lSABEL:
Time for ginger beer.

VlNCENT:
Ginger beer!

(lNAUDlBLE)

NORMAN:
Megsie has more.

No, l only have up to.. .

Norman has up to

the fourth ring, as well.

lSABEL:
All right,

l've got two drops left.

VlNCENT:
For me.

MEGSlE:
Me.

There's Uncle Phil.

Quick, hide the cake.

lSABEL:
l wasn't sure

he was coming.

But here he is,

with his silly contract.

Oh, wait, that looks

more like a letter.

Norman, Megsie,

Uncle Phil's got

a letter for us.

A letter from Rory.

That'll be nice

after all their waiting.

That's not a letter, dear.

lt's yellow.

lt's a telegram.

VlNCENT:
What's that?

MRS. DOCHERTY:

From the War Office.

That's not for us, is it?

lt's not always bad news,

is it?

l mean, we've got to

have a little faith,

haven't we?

Oh.

Mum?

NORMAN:
''Killed in action.' '

l'm so.. .

Rotten luck.

lt's a brilliant bit

of design, this machine.

He must've been

a terribly good.. .

He's not dead,

you know.

What?

He's not dead.

l know he's not.

They've got it wrong.

Norman, the Army

doesn't get it.. .

They've got it wrong.

Sorry.

But how? How do you know?

Look, my dad's always saying

he feels things in his bones.

He can feel

weather coming,

and he knows

when things are

going to happen,

like if a cow's

going to calve,

or if a lamb's in trouble.

And he's always right.

Every time.

Well, l can feel it in

my bones that he's alive.

l just know it.

You don't think that

you feel this way

because you've

just heard, or.. .

No, it's not that.

l just know.

All right.

So, what do you

want to do about it?

We need to find

out where he is,

and we need to

find out fast.

Mum will sell the farm

if she believes he's dead.

She'll think we can't

manage it on our own.

The thing is,

how do l find him?

l can't very well

go off looking for him.

There might be a way.

What? What? Tell me.

Well, it's just.. .

My father.

He's very high up

in the War Office.

Very high up in

the War Office.

Exactly, he'd be able

to find out quickly.

Where is he?

London.

Then how do we

get to him?

l don't know.

We need help.

Rate this script:2.3 / 6 votes