Never Say Die Page #4

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and everything, Your Honor.

We'd hate to lose them.

I have one

waiting already at 3:30

and another one at 4:00.

But it would only take a moment

if Your Honor would just

hit the high spots.

No, no, no.

I can't do it.

I can't do it.

Oh. Mm, yes.

If you can make it quick.

Bring 'em in the courtroom,

but sneak 'em in

the back way.

If Your Highness will

pardon me one second.

Something very urgent

came up.

Excuse me.

I beg your pardon.

A little kitchen romance.

It should be amusing.

Let us watch.

Your hat off, please.

Right away I marry you

in the courtroom.

Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.

What?

Uh-uh.

Here? No, no.

Not in here.

Here is for

the certificate only.

The marriage is in

the courtroom always.

Can you write?

Ja, ja.

Oui, oui.

Oui, oui.

Si, senor.

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

All right, then.

Then write here

your names, please,

right here.

[Giggles]

[Giggles]

?? [Organ Playing

"Here Comes The Bride"]

Uh, well, all right.

Come on here. This way.

The prince's guests are waiting.

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

?? [Continues]

Do you take this man

for your lawful,

wedded husband...

to live with him in

sickness and in health...

[Mumbling]

Do you promise

to love one another...

and cherish

as long as you may live?

Say yes!

I do.

Now you. Don't let

the people wait.

Do you take this woman

for your lawful,

wedded wife...

[Mumbling]

He won't be late,

will he?

I beg pardon, ma'am?

He won't be late,

will he?

Oh, no, ma'am.

In a manner of speaking,

he's already here.

You may now join hands.

[Whispering]

Hold hands!

Don't we kneel?

If you want

to kneel, kneel.

As evidence

of these promises

that you have made...

Oh, we can skip that.

Uh, by virtue of the power

invested in me...

and by virtue

of the solemn promises

you have made...

I hereby pronounce you

to be man and wife.

You can rise now.

It's all over.

?? ["The Wedding March"]

The bride...

Let us kiss the bride.

Hey, wait!

Come on. We'll

catch them outside.

Come on!

The prince is

gonna kiss the bride.

Come on!

Oh! Ah! Ah!

Come, madam,

you must pay the penalty.

Uh-uh!

Max, help me, please.

[Laughs]

[Max] Oop-la!

- Mickey!

- Mickey!

Let her alone!

Ah?

So.

[Clicks Heels]

[Crowd Clamoring]

Your Highness!

Are you all right?

That car!

I'll hold them off, sir!

John! John!

[Car Starts]

Good-bye!

I'll send you

a postcard!

Your Highness!

Wait for me!

[Horn Honks]

Take me with you!

Take me with you!

All right. Come on!

Me too!

She's my daughter!

[Man]

Yoo-hoo! Mickey!

Where are you?

Who is it?

It's me.

Henry!

Well, what in the name

of all get out

are you doing here?

Well, I came over

on a cattle boat.

I didn't get much sleep,

though, on account

of all the mooin'.

Oh, Henry!

[Squeals]

Well, you ought to see

the papers back home.

They're just full of that

stuff about you and that

Prince "Smirkoff" fella.

Oh, Henry!

Well, nobody around here

talks Texas, and I had

an awful time findin' ya.

But did I get here

in time?

Yes. Yes, Henry.

I didn't marry Smirnov.

Well, thank

my lucky stars.

I married Mr. Kidley.

Huh? Who?

Mr. Ki... Who's he?

The bean man.

L-I just met him.

Oh, shucks!

Well, what'd ya

marry him for?

Well, because

I love you, Henry.

Well, I may be just

a country boy, but I can't

figure that one out.

[Horn Honking]

Oh.

Yeah, yeah!

I'll be right out.

I'll be right out.

I gotta go, Henry.

You gotta go?

Where you goin'?

On my honeymoon.

Your honeymoon?

Yeah. I can't

explain now. Here.

I can't explain now.

We're goin' away someplace,

and then Mr. Kidley's gonna die.

Well, what kind

of talkin' is that?

Oh! Good-bye, Henry.

Good-bye?

Good-bye, Henry.

I didn't come over here

just to say good-bye!

[Horn Honking]

Okay, let's go.

Hey, wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

Who's that?

Oh, it's Henry.

Isn't it wonderful?

He's coming on

our honeymoon.

Oh. Huh?

Oh, Henry, this is

my husband, Mr. Kidley.

Oh, how do you do, Henry?

Right now I ain't

doin' so good.

Yes. Will you please

come around this way?

And sign

on this line.

"Mr. And Mrs. John Kidley."

[Chuckles]

And for your servant,

we have something in the rear.

I ain't his servant.

Oh, isn't that funny?

He thought Henry

was your servant.

No, this is Mr. Henry Munch.

The man Mrs. Kidley's

gonna marry.

Oh, Mr. Munch, Mr. Ingleborg

personally welcomes...

Marry? What is?

Mr. Munch is

Mrs. Kidley's fiance.

Oh, Papa!

[Indistinct Whispering]

Yes. Quiet, Mama.

That is not our business.

Julius, bring

upstairs the bags.

Come on, honey.

I'll thank you not

to call her honey,

you understand?

Why, Henry!

Oh, isn't that sweet,

Mr. Kidley?

Henry's jealous!

Cuckoo, darling.

There's something funny up.

Ah, Mama,

those Americans

are always joking.

Oh, Henry, that moon.

Look at the moon.

Yeah, it's big.

And those mountains.

Yeah. Kinda high.

No, Henry,

it's more than that.

It...

Well, look at 'em.

Well, we got

a mountain in Texas.

But Henry!

This place...

This night...

The smell of lilac.

And you sit there

whittlin' on a hunk of wood.

Well, what should I be

whittlin' on?

Well, gee, Henry,

this is the first time

we've ever been alone together...

I mean, away from Pa.

Put your arm around me,

Henry.

Please.

Now kiss me.

Henry, that's no way

to do it!

I mean, kiss me

as if you liked it...

as if you meant it.

Oh, I can't do it.

My heart ain't in it.

Why not?

Well, I can't get it

outta my mind that I'm...

Well, that I'm kissin'

somebody else's wife.

Makes me feel like

one of them playboys.

[Mickey, Henry

Laughing]

Hey, Henry, can you

still imitate a horse?

Oh, I guess I could

if I tried.

Go on, do it.

Go on.

Oh, no. That's kid stuff.

Aw, go on, Henry.

Just one little horse,

please.

Well, all right.

Just once.

Yeah, yeah.

[Imitating Horse]

[Mickey, Henry

Laughing]

[Henry Imitating Horse]

[Laughing]

I love it.

Come on. Do it again, Henry.

[Imitating Horse]

[Mickey, Henry

Laughing]

Look, Mama.

The moon out and everything,

and he makes like a horse.

Oh!

Oh, Mickey?

Oh, pardon me.

I didn't mean to...

[Chuckles]

I just came out.

I thought it was just about

time for me to kick off.

What?

I mean, turn in.

Go to bed.

Oh.

[Laughs]

Good night, Mickey.

Good night, Henry.

Good night!

Oh, Mr. Kidley,

wait a minute.

I'm coming right in.

Good night, Henry.

And I'll see you

in the morning.

Good night.

You'll see me

in the morn...

Hey, you!

L-I'll tuck you in,

huh?

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's all right.

I want you to feel

nice and comfortable.

It's full of feathers.

Oh, yeah?

Hey!

Oh, Henry, doesn't

Mr. Kidley look cute

in his pajamas?

Well, yeah, but...

He looks so cute.

[Laughs]

Uh...

Mr. Kidley,

we gotta have a talk.

All right, Henry.

We'll talk in the morning.

I've had a hard day.

Well, in the morning

won't do, Mr. Kidley.

Well, what is it?

What is it?

Well, I ain't happy.

Why, Henry,

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