Never Say Die Page #5

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just a minute ago

you were swell...

when you were acting

like a horse.

Well, I ain't the

beating-around-the-bush

kind of guy.

If I got anything

on my mind,

I spit it out.

Now, Henry,

don't be that way.

Mr. Kidley hasn't long

to be with us.

[Whispering]

He hasn't long

to be with us.

And it's our duty to see

that he's happy and...

Happy? Well, what difference

does it make to you

whether he's happy or not?

[Mickey]

Well, after all, Henry,

I am Mrs. Kidley.

And I always say that a

wife's place is in the home.

Listen!

Oh, Henry, you don't have

to worry about me.

Why, one of these mornings

you'll wake up and...

Pfft. I'll be gone.

Mr. Kidley,

I been watchin' you

mighty close here of late...

and all I got to say

is that you ain't been

livin' up to your promise.

You ain't gettin'

any smaller.

[Humming]

[Mumbling]

Uh, who's there?

[Ingleborg Humming,

Knocking]

Oh, come in.

Good morning!

Good morning!

Well, Mama Ingleborg

has fixed the breakfast

herself.

Oh, that's fine.

Hey, breakfast!

Yes, a very

special breakfast...

for our two little

dummelflumphes.

[Laughs]

Well, that's very nice

of Mama, Mr. Ingleborg.

Well, that's very nice

of Mama, Mr. Ingleborg.

Yes, it sure is!

Ah!

What sticks in my craw is,

everything he says

is so wonderful...

but everything I say it's,

"Oh, Henry, oh, Henry,

oh, Henry."

Oh!

Now, Henry, don't talk

that way about Mr. Kidley.

Oh, shucks.

[Crashes]

Look! He's getting

that flower just for me.

Risking his life.

Oh!

I got it!

[Mickey]

Careful! Careful!

[Henry]

Oh, that ain't nothin'.

I'd take a chance

at breakin' my neck, too,

if I knew I was gonna die.

Gee, thanks.

Aw.

Well, there it is.

Oh, thanks,

Mr. Kidley.

For you.

In the words of the poet,

"You are like a flower."

Oh, Mr. Kidley,

that's so sweet.

That's just like

in the movies.

Yeah.

Well, it was original

with me at the moment.

Let me help you, Mr. Kidley.

You must be a little tired.

Let's sit down

and rest a minute, huh?

Yeah.

Huh?

Huh-uh.

I guess I'll

run along to the hotel.

You and Henry want to be alone.

The minute you do, he'll

just start whittling.

Oh, that's fine talk.

A fella can whittle

and still be in love,

I guess.

He don't have

to go around shouting

that poetry muck all day.

Oh, Henry,

that's where you're wrong.

Women are romantic, sentimental.

It's up to us men

to humor 'em...

say pretty things.

Oh, I suppose you could

give me a lesson.

Oh, I bet you'd

be good at it too.

Well, I have kind of

been around.

Frankly, Henry,

I think you could

use a few lessons.

For instance?

Well, for a starter...

Supposing you were going

to take a girl in your arms.

Uh-huh.

Now you hold her

tenderly... gently.

Yeah, Henry,

you handle me

as if I was a bus.

Oh, bosh!

Now, watch, Henry.

Now, supposing I'm you.

You hold her like this,

and then you kiss her.

Oh.

[Laughs]

You see, Henry?

Uh-uh. No.

[Mickey]

No?

No? Well, show him

again, Mr. Kidley.

All right.

Wait a minute.

Here. Thank you.

[Laughs]

Ooh!

Oh, pardon me.

[Chuckles]

There.

Now you do it, Henry.

I'll sit here and watch.

No, sir. I don't have

to kiss my girl in front

of a whole crowd of people.

Well, it's only

Mr. Kidley, Henry.

No.

Aw, come on.

Please?

Oh, all right.

Uh-uh.

Well, I can't

get started.

Maybe you haven't

turned on your ignition.

Oh!

There!

No, that's not it,

Henry.

Would you show him again,

please, Mr. Kidley?

Oh, of course.

Anything at all.

Here. Hold that.

Just a moment.

Any time you

get the idea,

Henry, just cut in.

Well, I don't see

that he's doin' anything

that I didn't do.

Well, it's just

something or other

that I can't explain, Henry.

When he does it,

it's like a bunch

of trained wildcats...

but when you do it,

it's more like wild mice.

Yeah.

Oh, well,

I watched him close...

and I did everything

that he did...

and I'll bet you

if you had your eyes closed

you couldn't tell us apart.

All right, Henry.

I'll prove it to you.

Somebody give me

a hankie.

You got a hankie?

Oh, yes,

I have one here.

No! Her, her, her!

Oh, pardon me.

Pardon me.

All right, now I'll

tie this tight.

Now you come around

in front, Mr. Kidley.

All right.

And the both of you

step back now.

And then you sneak up

one at a time and kiss me...

and I'll tell you

just who it is.

All right, step back.

Go on, go on.

Well, don't go away.

Okay. Now, I'll count

up to ten...

and then one of you

come up and kiss me.

All right.

One, two, three...

four...

five...

six, seven, eight...

nine, ten.

You ready?

Well, come on.

That's Henry.

That's Mr. Kidley.

[Laughs]

Ready again.

That's Henry.

That's Mr. Kidley.

[Laughs]

That's Henry, still handling

me like I was a bus.

[Clicks Tongue]

Why, Henry, how dare you

take your shirt off.

I'm surprised, l...

Mr. Kidley!

Henry!

Yes, sir.

I can leave

immediately, sir.

Just a minute, sir.

I'll write it down.

"Ingleborg Haus...

Ingleborg."

I've got it, sir.

Forgive the liberty,

sir, but, uh...

how is everything?

Oh?

Oh?

No?

Oh.

Well, don't forget, sir,

the bird on the wing

and all that.

No, sir,

no one but Dr. Schmidt.

Oh, he wants to know if,

when it happens...

he can have your stomach.

Wants to put it

in a bottle or something.

Yes, I told him I'd have

to ask you first, sir.

Don't worry, sir.

I'll travel incognito.

Oh, Mrs. Marko

found her car, sir,

just where you abandoned it.

Oh, no, sir.

Not a soul knows

of your whereabouts.

But I've got it...

"Ingleborg Haus."

At last I have got it!

Ingleborg Haus.

Where's that?

Ingleborg!

Thank you, dear.

Come on, let's go.

Hurry!

[Snoring]

- [Cuckoos]

- [Snorts]

[Yawning]

Hey, don't you think it's about

time we ought to go to bed?

Huh? Oh. Oh.

Hey! Hey!

?? [Oompah]

?? [Continues]

? Once a little tra la la

met a great big oompah-pah ?

? She looked up and said

"Aha, you're the one for me" ?

? Then the little tra la la

kissed the great big

oompah-pah ?

? Then the village orchestra

played in harmony ?

Now, Mickey...

? One day ?

? In springtime ?

? Their love dream

came true ?

Now, Mick...

[Clanging]

? Church bells

were ringing ?

? When the tra la la

Oompah-pah ?

? Said "I do" ?

? Now the little tra la la

has a little oompah-pah ?

? He can only say "da da"

but his ma and pa ?

? Hope that he will grow to be

a great big oompah-pah ?

[All]

Oi!

Now, see here. L...

Shh!

? Once a little tra la la

met a great big oompah-pah ?

? She looked up and said

"Aha, you're... no, you're

the one for me" ?

? Then the little tra la la

kissed the great big

oompah-pah ?

? Then the village orchestra

played in harmony ?

? Then the village orchestra

played in harmony ?

? One day in springtime ?

? Their love dream

came true ?

? Church bells

were ringing ?

? When the tra la la

Oompah-pah ?

? Said "I do" ?

? Now the little tra la la

has a little oompah-pah ?

? He can only say "da da"

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