Never Say Die Page #7

---

they're very good...

go over Mr. Kidley's will.

Just watching out

for your interests.

Well, doggone it, ma'am...

and me just meetin' ya...

that sure is kind.

Mighty kind.

?? [Whistling]

?? [Joins In]

Good morning, ma'am.

Good morning, sir.

[Together]

Good morning, Jeepers.

Your mail, sir,

from Bad Gaswasser.

Just throw it away.

Oh, but, sir,

there may be

something important.

Nothing is important,

Jeepers, but living.

That's the spirit, sir.

I noticed a change in you

the moment I arrived.

Yes, you can thank

Mickey for that.

Thank you, Mickey...

Uh, Mrs. Kidley.

Okay, Jeepers.

Yes, sir, if I may say so,

you're bubbling over, sir...

just bubbling over.

That's the coffee,

Jeepers.

Oh.

Uh, Jeepers, will you order

some more heavy cream?

Very good, sir.

? One day in springtime

their love dream came true ??

Mr. Kidley, isn't there

somethin' that you get

a great big kick out of doin'?

I mean, there's not much time

before you D-l-E.

And I just want you to

remember these last few days

as long as you live.

Well, there's one...

Let's see...

Do you mind if I write on this?

It's from that druggist.

What druggist?

You know,

in Bad Gaswasser.

He probably wants

to sell me something.

"Kipper, a dog."

Yeah, yeah. He wants

to sell you a dog.

[Chuckles]

Say, that's

a pretty hairdo.

Thank you.

Well, we're going to

figure out right now what

to do with your last 18 days.

Uh... Have you ever

seen the Sphinx?

No. Is it good?

Well, we're

gonna see it.

We? Henry too?

No, we don't want him around

our Sphinx. He'll only

start whittlin' on it.

Sphinx. One day.

What's he

so sorry about?

What's who what?

This druggist.

He sure is sorry.

"Had your acidity test

mixed with a dog's...

Kipper."

Say, I know where we could spend

about six days. There must be

a bicycle race around here.

Mr. Kidley, listen.

Huh?

Listen. "Kipper, whose name

sounds not unlike your own"...

Mr. Kidley, Kipper's a dog.

You're not.

What?

Well, I mean, it...

It says so right here.

Y-Y-You got all mixed up

with Kipper.

Kippers?

[Stammering]

Listen, listen.

"I am happy to report

that both you and the dog

are entirely normal."

Mm-hmm.

Normal.

Oh. Well, you're both

all right!

Oh, well, sure. I wouldn't want

to buy a dog...

Yeah.

Wha... Wha... Wha...

"I am happy to report

that both you and the dog

are entirely normal.

It's wonderful!

You're not gonna die!

You're both all right."

You're gonna live!

Hooray! It's wonderful!

It's great! That's marvel...

Or is it?

Of course it is.

I know, but that gang...

I promised them

I was gonna kick off.

They're gonna be sore

about this.

Tell 'em you were only foolin'.

Fooling with

an Olympic pistol champion

and a duelist?

If I don't die on time

something serious is liable

to happen to me.

L...

Here. Nobody will know anything

happened; what it's all about.

We won't tell anybody

a thing.

Oh, Mr. Kidley, we...

Now we're really married.

I mean, just like

Ma and Pa and...

and Mrs. Marko and...

well, everybody.

Oh, yeah!

Y... Oh.

Oh, what about Henry?

Oh, yeah, Henry.

Well... Well, don't worry

about him. I'll...

I'll take care of him.

Oh!

?? [Whistling]

Mr. Kidley.

Hello, Henry.

Could I speak to you

for a moment, please?

Sure. What's on your mind?

Well, it's about

Mickey and me too.

I ain't happy again.

What seems to be the trouble?

I know you don't like me

and I can't blame you for it.

But I like you.

Henry, I like you!

Let me finish, Mr. Kidley.

Here you are doin'

everything for me, and...

Well, I want you to know

you're one of the finest men

I ever met up with.

[Voice Cracking]

Well, Henry, I'm a...

Heh!

I mean, I'm not really

like you say at all.

If you only knew me.

I'd double-cross my own...

Mr. Kidley,

I won't let you say a word

again' yourself.

I guess I know a man

when I see one.

I know I'm nothing but

a poor bus driver and...

Well, you could cut me out

with Mickey just like that...

[Snaps Fingers]

- If you wanted to.

- Well, I don't know, Henry.

Things are different now.

I mean, I just found out...

Shucks, Mr. Kidley.

You've done everything

to make me and Mickey happy...

and, well,

I guess you know

how I feel about her.

I guess you know

how I feel about you too.

Well, that's all.

I just had to let it out.

Except, I'd like to

shake your hand and

tell you how sorry I am...

for bein' such a fool

suspicionin' you.

Well, don't worry about

a thing. You're okay.

Thanks, Mr. Kidley.

Here, boy. I want you to

take this to Mr. Henry Munch.

Do you know him?

Yes, ma'am.

All right. Here is

something for you.

Thank you.

[Knocking]

Hello, Mickey.

Oh, Mr. Kidley. I was

just going to find you.

Uh, look, Mickey,

I just sent...

I've been thinking

this whole thing over.

I mean,

now that I'm gonna live

and everything, l...

It kinda changes the whole

setup. It kinda puts

a different angle on it.

I don't know

what you mean.

Well, after all, we hardly

knew each other, and this

whole thing was a put-up job.

Marriage is a serious

sort of thing.

You mean you... you don't

want to be married to me,

Mr. Kidley?

Well, it was a lot of fun

and everything, but for it to be

for the rest of our lives, l...

- You mean you don't love me?

- Well, frankly, Mickey,

I guess I don't.

Oh.

Naturally, I'll give you

the divorce.

You won't have any trouble.

And after everything's set,

you must go back to Henry.

Well, it...

[Laughs]

It was nice being married

to you, Mr. Kidley...

even if we weren't, really.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

It's kind of a surprise.

L...

I mean, l-I,

I thought it was gonna...

Well, l... I guess

that's the way things

are with things, huh?

Oh, sure.

Things have a way of always

turning out right, Mickey.

Yeah.

Well...

I'll be seeing you.

[Faintly]

L...

[Sobbing]

[Smirnov]

Kretsky...

I have been double-crossed.

This dog man,

he is without honor.

He will be

walking the streets alive,

breathing the air...

listening to the birds,

going to the opera,

the movies.

While l...

What will I be doing

all that time?

Well, unless

you do something,

starting tomorrow...

Your Highness

will be rotting in jail.

Yeah, heh...

But what is there

to do?

What is there to do?

My friend,

there is only one thing.

Kretsky...

you are even a bigger stinker

than I think.

[Laughs]

Yeah.

Yes, but that

is all very fine.

But what good is it for me

to make him go pfft...

if to me they are going...

[Choking Sounds]

Your Highness,

you amaze me.

It's all very simple.

You make it look like

an affair of honor.

It will not be

your first duel.

Kretsky...

Kidley,

he is in the bag.

Crepe suzette?

Yeah, I guess so.

Merci.

Oh, Mickey.

Oh, you're... you're going.

I mean, those are your bags?

Yes. They're my bags.

Well... good-bye,

Mr. Kidley.

Well, you're really going.

Well, good-bye.

L-I'll be thinking

a lot about you.

I'll be thinking about

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes