Newlyweeds Page #4

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Puerto Rican fence climbers

on your feet, man,

you got a quarter?

Yeah, them, man.

They use them to climb

the frigging fence, man.

Come on, man. Give me a quarter.

That's right. Give me back

my space on line.

You gon' be slipping all around,

slipping and sliding and sh*t.

I mean, there's somebody

in my cell that... that I know,

that's, like,

know my dad or something.

Well, yeah. But your dad

is not going to be there.

You gon' let everybody in there

know that you, like,

this momma's boy

or this daddy's boy?

How long you think

they gon' leave me up there?

Now, this your first time,

right?

Yeah.

I'd say about a year.

What? You used a Taser, my dude.

That's attempted murder.

But I ain't even use it.

I just showed it to him.

Well, sh*t, intent is 3/4 of

the law. Everybody knows what.

Nah, yo.

Yeah, yo.

Nah, yo. Nah.

You see that

little n*gger's face?

It don't get

no better than that.

Hey, man. You got entertain

yourself somehow, right?

Philly.

Lyle.

What you doing up in here, Lyle?

Hmm?

Hey.

F***! No.

I'm sorry.

I thought you were Lyle.

Yeah, he was trying to get

in contact with you earlier

to cop something but...

Oh.

Okay.

All right, thanks.

Hello?

Hey, yeah, it's me again.

You still delivering?

How much?

Yeah, just hold on.

Yeah, come through. Okay.

Hell no.

I don't mind using

the whole bag, you know?

Just replace the sh*t.

You know what I'm saying?

Hell yeah.

See, b*tches are good for that.

They'll leave a little piece of

toilet paper on the roll,

knowing damn well you can't wipe

your ass with that little piece

of toilet paper.

Exactly, exactly.

Then they got

the nerve to tell you

to throw some tobacco in there,

like you a white boy.

You know what I'm saying?

He a cracker, right?

Nah.

'Cause cracker's love them

some weed and tobacco,

make it all spicy and sh*t.

I can't f*** with that

spicy weed.

I hope she jump out the window

and kill herself. I really do.

'Cause, see, you like me, Lyle.

You a good dude.

And broads out there nowadays--

They like to take advantage of

that. You know what I'm saying?

Aww.

What's his name?

Chico?

Oh, sh*t, she probably f***ing

Chico, he got a name like that.

Chico.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what, man?

I just remembered. I got to...

I got to, umm... Oh, the phone.

I got to... I'm supposed to

make a call, like, a while ago,

when I first got here.

But I, you know, it was a line.

I'm gon' use...

Yeah, excuse me, man.

I'll talk to you.

How that go?

I don't know.

Hey, f*ggot.

No, not you, man.

Hey, yo, f*ggot.

Why don't you get off the phone?

You been on that sh*t for, like,

20 minutes.

My man here needs to use the jack.

I got to go.

Yeah, some b*tch-ass nigga.

I'm-a call you when I get out.

Come on.

What? You want to get on some?

Why don't you bring that tight ass in?

Okay, bye.

Put it on my bologna pony.

Yo! Hey!

Whoa! Whoa!

Now nobody gets to use

the motherfucking phone!

What, you can't take no damn...

I was just teasing.

Goddamn. Why you got to

be like that? Sh*t.

I just wanted... Aww.

F***ing people nowadays... Sh*t.

Hey, baby,

where you get them boots?

You like salt, baby?

I got some salted

man meat for you.

Freaky streaky. Streaky freaky.

Psst. Psst.

I was saying

"My buddy's going to get there.

Let's just get the lap dance

started already. Let's go."

And I'm getting the coke.

And, I mean, it's, like...

Yo, man, shut the f*** up.

Psst. Hey, man. Yo.

Come on, man.

I got that thang-thang

you looking for.

Check this sh*t out.

Man, I don't--

I don't want that.

This be burgundy haze, man.

I don't care, man.

Smell it.

Nah, really, man, stop.

I'm good. I'm all right.

I'm going to need

ten bones for this.

What?

Yeah, man.

No, I know. But... It's going to

cost you ten bones.

I don't want it.

I'll tell you what though.

Calm down.

$8, $8.

No, just leave me alone.

I'm just going to need eight.

No, man. Look. Here, here.

All right, here.

There's $5, man.

Yeah, just leave me alone,

please, man.

Take the sh*t.

I don't want that.

All right, all right.

Motherfuckers nowadays

don't appreciate sh*t.

I do appreciate it.

Thank you.

Make it rain up in here.

Excuse me.

Can we get some water in here?

Ask your arresting officer.

It's not for me.

There's a sick man in here.

You ain't hear him

over here coughing?

Jesus Christ.

What is $5 going to get me?

Thank you.

Let me just get a little kiss.

Come on, baby. Let me play with

them gristles a little bit.

I can't get sh*t?

Gracias.

Yo. I got locked up last night.

It's a long story.

Stay right here. Let me just...

Let me just get

my sh*t together, please.

Yo, where you going?

Get out of my way!

Really?

Move!

And you didn't answer

any of my phone calls!

Yo, you need to calm down.

I don't want to talk

to you anymore! I'm out!

Yo, you need to talk to me.

You gon' walk

out there like that?

Yes!

No, that's f***ed up.

What are you talking about?

It's f***ed up that I been

calling you all night!

And you haven't answered

any of my phone calls!

You listen to me--

I don't want to talk to you.

Yo, let me just--

Let me make it better.

You can't make it better, Lyle.

Why you screaming at me?

You can't make it better.

You didn't miss me?

You didn't miss me?

I was in jail last night.

You didn't miss me?

No.

You lying.

Don't f***ing lie to me.

You didn't miss me?

Look. I'm sorry. All right?

I saw you sitting there

with that dude. And I flipped.

What are you talking about?

Yo, you...

You could be with anybody in

the world you want to be with.

You're beautiful.

You done travelled the world.

You could have

travelled the world, Lyle.

Hey, I still want to, yo.

I still want to.

Like, but, yo, if you leave,

like how...

You know?

Yo, you just...

You can't, please.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I love you.

Please.

Mommy, here!

Nina! Nina!

I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry.

Hey, hey, hey. You don't have to

feel embarrassed.

What are you...

What are you talking about?

There's no reason to be

embarrassed about last night.

I don't know

what you're talking about.

Well, okay, I know.

I know it's none of my business.

But I just wanted to

let you know that

my ex-wife had a drug problem.

What?

So, I understand.

But, okay, all right,

no judgement.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said anything.

But, umm,

I just wanted to let you know

that if you needed an ear,

I'm here.

Hey.

What's all this?

I wanted to do

something different.

Change can be good, you know?

True.

Hey, where's that bag at?

What bag?

Two for Three said he came by

last night, dropped the bag off.

You don't want to eat first?

You know I like

to smoke before I eat.

You can't wait?

You all right?

What if we took a break?

Is it... Is it Chico?

What?

You know I'm-a kill him, right?

What?

I'm-a take his head off.

No, I mean a break from weed.

Oh.

Wait. You want to

take a break from weed?

Just for, like, you know, a week

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