Newlyweeds Page #5

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or so, to see how it feels.

Well, I already know how it

feels. That's why I smoke.

The coconut oil

gives it the richness--

Utter tragedy.

Let's make brownies.

That's...

Come on.

That's not-- No.

Come on. It'll be fun.

I don't even think

you're supposed to

use that kind of bud

to make brownies.

Yes, yes, yes, you can.

And look.

Tomorrow, at the planetarium,

they're having the

Spring Equinox Festival.

And they'll have

a light show and a DJ.

We could see different galaxies.

And it's going to be crazy,

especially if we're tripping.

I don't know if I wanna do that...

Please, please, please, please.

I always wanted to

make brownies. Please.

All right, all right.

Cool.

Yeah, I know a

f***ing hand job spot.

I want to get, like,

three f***ing Asian b*tches.

I don't even give a f***.

I want mad f***ing blow.

I'll go in a f***ing hotel.

I don't give a f***.

Yo, dick.

What are you doing tonight?

Nina made brownies. We gon'

chill, get high and sh*t.

What?

Nina made brownies.

Nah, bro, f*** that.

We gon' kick--

Listen. Listen. Listen.

You're coming out tonight.

My boy Al got a vaporizer.

The f*** is a vaporizer?

This sh*t just f***ing

turns it into, like, a fume.

You inhale it through a bag.

Crazy sh*t.

Made these brownies, man.

Nah, yo,

I don't believe this sh*t.

You're going to

f***ing eat brownies?

You're not coming out?

I get off probation today.

Yeah, but I got Nina.

Yo, this f***ing kid's telling

me he's not coming out tonight

'cause he's f***ing making

brownies. What a f***ing b*tch.

Who are you, Betty Crocker?

I'm not a f***ing b*tch.

I'm no b*tch, man.

You're not no b*tch.

All right, so you're coming out?

No. I got plans.

I thought you said

you weren't a b*tch.

I'm not a b*tch, dog.

So, you're coming out?

I'm not no b*tch.

All right, cool,

so you're coming out.

I don't know, bro. This guy's on

some real f***ing b*tch sh*t.

Yeah, still working here.

Hey, guys, can you chill out?

How 'bout you shut up?

I have to... Hang on a sec.

I'm telling on all of you guys.

I'm telling your teacher.

You're going to be

in so much trouble.

I can't wait.

Screw you.

Yeah, I got to

work late tonight.

Can't we just, like,

move it to 7:
00?

Yeah. Did you want to

get dinner?

All right, cool. I'll look into

what's around there.

You d*cks! Ah! That hurt!

No f***ing way.

Whoa!

I want those.

Are they strong?

It's my first time.

So, I don't know.

The weed didn't

really fricassee.

But if you take two,

I'm sure you'll trip.

Ah!

Nina!

Spit it out! Spit it out!

Spit it out!

Ah! Ah!

Okay, well...

Jimmy, boys,

what's going on over here?

Nina--

Jimmy took the brownies

from that bag.

I am so sorry, Miss Nina.

Shame on you, boys.

Yeah, it is. We saw you with it.

You guys are in trouble.

Apologize.

It's not my bag.

Get up. Get up.

It's not my bag.

No, you don't have to--

Good brownies!

Get inside.

I am so--

It's not mine.

They do this all the time.

I'm really sorry.

If there's one thing, one piece

of advice I can give you,

it's "Don't have kids."

I'm kidding.

I'm sort of...

I'm kind of kidding.

I'm sorry. I really am.

So, raccoons, they are...

They're really interesting,

umm, animal... mammals.

Uhh, they, umm,

they build their own homes.

They... They have, umm, tails.

They, uhh--

Jimmy, what are you doing?

They have homes.

Get back to the group.

And they, uhh...

They have babies.

You okay?

And they have tails.

What's going on? Jimmy?

Curtis?

Grandma!

Mommy said you were in Heaven.

No, baby. I'm in Hell.

What? Is this Hell?

Yes, dear.

So, I'm dead?

Yes.

I don't want to die!

I don't want to be die,

don't want to be dead.

Help me, Grandma.

No, help me!

Oh my God!

Hey! Stop! Stop that woman!

Someone stop her!

Yo, son.

Yo, take his shoes.

I'll put 'em on

the telephone wire.

Yo, we should

put it in the oven.

Yo, you need to go to boot camp.

Yo, he's in my mom's bed.

Oh, it's your mom's bed?

Ah! I'll give you the leg lock.

That's some homo sh*t.

Get the f*** off me.

The things, man, the things...

Hey, yo, you want some...

He's having a hard day.

Yeah. Oh, you like

a cuddly bear and sh*t.

They call me the Care Bear.

Yeah?

Is that a f***ing

hospital wristband?

I just...

just blood yesterday...

I had to f***ing go there.

Nothing?

Can I make another call?

Yeah.

Hello?

Mom?

What's wrong? Nina?

I... I made a mistake.

What time is it?

You know, he f***ing

will kill himself, you know?

F***ing peeing blood

from my f***ing dick.

Your mom had nothing

to say to me.

Yo, where's my phone?

Where the f*** is my phone?

Yo.

Yo, chill, chill.

Yo, your going to

wake his moms up.

Where am I?

Long Island.

Oh, f***.

Yo.

Oh, sh*t, thank you.

Yo, what's that?

It's a Hector Bravo.

I'm just trying to get fit, man.

It's summer, you know?

I'm trying to get f***ing sexy

for the f***ing summer.

Yo, I see f***ing...

f***ing sh*t f***ed up.

What the f***

you talking about?

F*** you.

I only need, like,

three more of these joints.

This is the

Stilwell Avenue bound "F" train.

The next stop is

Kings Highway.

Stand clear of

the closing doors, please.

Lyle?

Lyle?

Where is he?

Oh my God.

Hey, hey,

I'll take care of that.

This is not a joke.

What you lookin' at?

Get up. Let's go.

Let's hurry up out of here.

Patrice?

Where was he when

she needed him? Huh?

Running the streets? Drunk?

He doesn't even drink.

Oh, you can smell it

a mile away.

Turned you into a junkie.

Hey, can we just

get moving along here?

We didn't raise her like this.

Mom, do you have to be

so extra about everything? God.

Can't believe she's saying that.

I don't understand.

Get you out of here

in five minutes.

This knob...

Hey, guys.

Man.

This vagrant? Ugh.

This the kind of company

you keep?

Better be glad

I didn't have my pistol.

Nina!

I'm sorry. I...

Is...

I'm...

Let's go!

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Wait a minute.

What the f*** you doing, man?

The f*** you talking about, son?

Get the f*** out of here, son!

Hey! Hey! Go! Go!

Yo, what the f***?

Yo, Lyle! Lyle!

Yo!

The f*** this dude is doing?

Motherf***er.

Get the f*** in.

Go, go, go, go. Go!

F***ing pussies! F***ing b*tch!

Yo, I saw that sh*t.

Oh, sh*t. This...

You my n*gger, dog.

You my n*gger, dog!

You my n*gger!

I'm sorry, son.

So, yeah, man, it's, like,

waiting on these motherfuckers

to call me back, yo,

so I can go down here, take this

test and whatever, whatever,

you know.

Hmm.

Yeah, but, you know,

in the meantime, you know,

you know somebody is hiring,

you know, look out for your boy.

No doubt.

'Sup with Nina?

Yeah, we...

We ain't really f***ing with

each other like that

right now but...

I mean, she got a restraining

order against me and sh*t.

Yeah, man. But, you know, I know

it's her moms or whatever, so...

Sorry to hear that, man.

It's all good.

Hmm.

Oh, sh*t.

Ah, I'm good. That's all you.

That's all you.

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