Nice Dreams Page #3

Synopsis: Cheech and Chong house sit for a marijuana grower and rip off the crop. Stalked by keystone-style cops, Los Guys have a series of encounters with L.A. area characters even weirder than themselves.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Tommy Chong
Production: Columbia Pictures Industries
 
IMDB:
6.2
Metacritic:
54
Rotten Tomatoes:
43%
R
Year:
1981
88 min
580 Views


Hey, we gotta split now.

Hey, keep working.

You're doing good, homes.

JIMMY:
Yeah.

[SINGS]

[KNOCKING]

MAN:
Hey, sarge? Hey, man,

you burning some stuff in there?

I sure would like some.

Hey, man, come on,

gimme some of that.

CHEECH:
Like a tractor-trailer,

man. A big tractor-trailer

with a diesel thing on it.

And we could just haul this stuff

all over the place.

We could have, like,

a disco in the back, you know.

And, like, a health food place, too.

CHONG:
Yeah.

CHEECH:
And then we could

have our whole thing together

wherever we go, you know.

We could have, like, a sleep-in

and a Jacuzzi, a sauna...

Hey, chief! Hey, how you doing?

Hey, good seeing you.

Hey, got something for you, man.

This bud's for you.

Wow.

Let me lay something on you.

No, that's okay, man.

Please. Shirts, man.

Hey, thanks, man.

Shirts, here.

Oh, hey, thanks, man.

Some more.

That's great, man. That's enough.

Oh, that's... Thanks a lot.

These bull's balls

are the hottest things going.

Oh, wow. Hey, thanks.

Oh, hey, thanks.

Here's a bag. Here.

Thanks a lot, man.

Creep.

Hey, thanks.

Oh, wow. Hey, thanks a lot, man.

[SCREAMS]

MAN:
What happened? You all right?

I broke my nail! I broke my nail!

[CHOKING]

Hey, what happened, man?

[BURBLING]

Come on, man. Let's go.

Hey, come on, man. Come on, push.

Come on. Up. Up. Push. Push.

Push. You're not trying.

Okay. One more. One more!

Come on. Push. Push!

Push it! Come on, you're not trying.

Hey, that's good.

Hey, look at this. Come on.

Oh, man. L...

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

CHEECH:

Hey, Jimmy!

Hey, Jimmy the Genius.

Where is he?

I dunno, man.

Gotta be here somewhere.

Wow!

Wow!

Hey, homes.

All right.

[LAUGHS]

Jimmy... God, oh, man...

God, man. Jimmy,

that's heavy duty, man.

How'd you get him to learn

how to smoke that joint, man?

Hey, homes,

are you tripping?

What is that?

It's a... It's a... I dunno.

It's a lizard, man.

Yeah, it's an ugly lizard.

Cool.

Sh*t!

Right.

CHEECH:
Hey, Jimmy, you should be

on that show Really Incredible

Heavy Duty Dudes, man.

You could be a guest weirdo.

Hey, Jimmy, can we have

some more buds? Thanks a lot.

We'll take care of the place for you.

Don't worry about nothing, man.

Let's change that music, man.

DETECTIVE:
It's happening right now.

Look, you see it? Look. Look. Look.

Oh, that's incredible.

Look at that. It's happening.

Oh, that's amazing. That's incredible.

Sarge, look at that.

It's happening right now.

Do you believe that?

Look at him.

[BEEPING]

That's amazing.

I mean, it's just like

the report said. Right, Fu?

Okay. Yes.

We took that marijuana

you gave us and we tested it.

This smoke, no. This smoke, yes.

DETECTIVE:
Yeah, never mind

that technical talk, Fu, huh?

What he means is

[FLY BUZZING]

Anyone who smokes that stuff

is gonna turn into

one of these lizards.

We gotta bust these guys, sarge.

I mean, there's nothing to it.

We gotta bust them now.

Can we bust them now,

sarge, huh? Can we? Huh?

[SWALLOWS]

Right. Noodles. Come on, let's go.

Sarge?

Can we get you anything, sarge?

Bugs.

Bugs?

What? Oh, bug off. Just bug off.

Get out of here.

Noodles! Come on, move it! Let's go.

WOMAN:
Just listen to him.

Would you listen to him?

Hey, hey, big boy.

Come over here, sweetheart.

Tell this nice officer who I am.

Whirlybird unit.

Tell him we're freelance entertainers.

Apple-Baker-Mary.

Drooler speaking. Dig this.

You have a go on

Operation Get Them. Got it?

Good. Go get them!

Noodles! Noodles!

Noodles. Move it.

Listen to me, officer. I'm gonna

have my attorney explain to you

I'm a freelance entertainer.

MAN 1:
Roger, Mother Coop.

We're ten-twenty at Trancas Beach

moving up on Broad Beach Road.

Approaching

cannabis cultivation centre.

Uh, Cowboy,

move your ass over a bit.

MAN 2:

Roger, there, Papa Bear.

We're moving over.

MAN 1:

There it is. Follow me in.

Holy sh*t. You see

what I see, old man?

Let's take care of business.

MAN 3:

Jesus Christ! Look at those titties!

[CAMERA SHOOTING]

MAN 2:

Holy mother-of-pearl!

Take us down, old man, take us down!

We're talking about serious, wild,

naked titties on the beach down there!

MAN 1:
Will you forget about titties?

We got a bust to think about.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Wow, those choppers are low today.

Yeah.

[LAUGHING]

If they only knew

what we were doing

down here, huh?

MAN 3:

Cowboy, look at those pink nipples.

MAN 2:

Nipples? Hell, look at them

tender young asses.

MAN 1:
All right, you've seen the tits.

Let's get back to work.

What the hell we doing up here?

Put her down, man, go down!

MAN 1:

A.J., Code Five.

Getting low, man.

Huh?

I said, they're getting low.

Hey, there's a rip in the tarp.

Aw, sh*t.

CHONG:
Where's the ladder?

Over there, man.

Hold me steady.

All right. I got it. I got it.

Get me some rope, man!

What?

Get me a piece of rope!

Rope?

Yeah! Hurry up!

What kind?

Never mind what kind!

Don't be so stupid!

Get me some rope!

Hurry up!

All right! Hey, I got some.

Hey, I got the rope, man.

Are you okay?

Hey, man. Are you okay?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, never mind

about me, man.

Fix the tarp.

Hand me the flap.

I need some rope.

Well, put the rope on it, man.

Where's the rope?

Well, it's down there,

Right down there on the floor.

I don't know. Hurry up!

MAN 1:

Okay, Cowboy,

let's set these birds down.

MAN 2:

Roger, Papa Bear.

Come on, man! Here it comes. Hurry!

Well, do something!

MAN 3:

Look, there he is!

Look out.

Hey! You're leaning on my stick.

[###]

Get over.

Get back over there.

MAN 1:

Hey, Cowboy, where

the hell you going?

MAN 2:

He's on my stick.

He's on my stick!

Hey! Get off my stick!

MAN 1:

Cowboy, we're setting down

on the beach.

MAN 2:
I'm coming, baby.

You can just sit right in my face

and just beat me with a wet towel.

Papa Bear, those suspects

are flying the coop.

[ENGINE STUTTERS]

MAN 1:
I hear you, Cowboy.

We're trying to find a place to sit.

MAN 2:

Oh, man. Look at that.

[GROANING]

Hey, man, come on.

Quit f***ing around, will you?

We gotta get out of here.

You're getting

too laid back, se.

Come on.

MAN 1:

Mother Coop, this is 2-Henry-10.

We have two suspects in custody.

Returning to base.

DROOLER:

Stop it. Stop it, Noodles.

No more. Stop it!

[SCREAMING]

Stop it! Jesus, Noodles,

you're driving me nuts.

Turn that damn TV off,

will you?

Giving me a headache.

Eyes are killing me.

Let's get some light on.

[SCREAMING STOPS]

All right, you two guys...

We're gonna go through it

one more time, boys.

Where are those two guys?

Who's your boss?

Are you working for them?

Huh? Come on!

Hi, sarge.

I can't get a damn thing

out of these two guys.

They ain't talking.

Sarge.

This is all I can get out of them:

"Buds. Good. Big.

Good buds. Big. Big.

Buds. Big. Good buds."

I dunno what to make of it, sarge.

Big.

Big? Big, big, big...

"Big buds. Big good..."

Mr. Big!

Mm.

Ah, Mr. Big, Mr. Big.

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Tommy Chong

Thomas B. Kin Chong (born May 24, 1938) is a Canadian-American comedian, actor, writer, director, musician and cannabis rights activist who is known for his marijuana-themed Cheech & Chong comedy albums and movies with Cheech Marin, as well as playing the character Leo on Fox's That '70s Show. He became a naturalized United States citizen in the late 1980s. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Nice Dreams" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/nice_dreams_14744>.

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