Nice Dreams Page #4

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Noodles? It's Mr. Big.

Mr. Big is good. Mr. Big is bud.

Mr. Big is Bud... Bud Good!

Mr. Big is Bud Good!

That's it, that's it! We gotta

bust him. We gotta bust

Bud Good, right?

We're gonna bust him, sarge?

Mmm.

No, no, I knew that. Noodles, help me.

Tail.

"Tail." Tail...

We tail Bud Good!

Yeah, that's what we do.

We tail Bud Good. I knew it.

You're a genius, sarge.

Tail Bud Good to Mr. Big.

That's it! Come on, let's get

these two guys out of here.

Hey, hey, hey!

No, I'll leave them with you, sarge.

You probably want to talk to him.

You're coming with us.

Come on, let's go. Get up.

Come on, Noodles.

We got work to do.

We're tailing Bud Good to Mr. Big.

Come on, we gotta find

Bud Good. Come with us.

Let's go. Move it! Move it!

Good luck, sarge, but I couldn't get

a damn thing out of that guy.

Come on, now! Move it!

You have beautiful eyes.

Yes, you do.

Ah, yeah.

[###]

CHEECH:
Don't that sound

like a good idea? We'll take

the money and start Vatoland.

CHONG:
Vatoland?

CHEECH:
Just like Disneyland, man.

Except for vatos, right? Hm?

Yeah, we could get some land

out in Fontana by that gypsum plant.

It'd be heavy.

I'd like to start Guitarland.

No, no, Vato...

We could have Guitarland

in Vatoland.

Just guitars. Everywhere you go.

Yeah. That could be, like, a part of it.

Yeah, that'd be heavy.

In Vatoland, like, the rides

would be low rides.

Get it?

Excuse me. Wine?

You could have walls that

you could rent spray cans on,

just do your own graffiti, man.

That'd be heavy, huh?

You could have gang fights.

Yeah.

Like, every night, you could bring in

a different gang, like a guest gang.

Like special guest appearances.

Wouldn't that be heavy?

Ooh, mama! Looky here.

Oh, do I know you? Huh?

Hope not.

Do you know me?

No...

Do I know you?

No, I don't know you.

That's why I carry

American Express.

Isn't that funny?

Seriously, you look very familiar.

Yeah.

No, you... Don't worry.

When I remember,

I will remember.

Always the beasts

remember me.

Who was that?

I dunno, man.

You can tell me.

I swear to God...

I don't know

what you do at night.

I remember! I remember!

I remember.

You're so wonderful.

I must have been drunk.

I was a flower child, too, you know.

Sitting on the grassy knolls,

listening to your music

permeate the air.

You're brilliant.

Oh, my God. I have every album

you ever made.

I used to scream for you.

I'd die for you.

And you're holding up beautifully.

You are holding up so well.

Oh, my God.

Guess what?

I handle musicians myself.

You do?

I do. And they're brilliant.

They're called The Hot Rollers.

A sign of the times, right?

Girls! Come here.

Get ready for them.

They're wonderful.

Oh, yeah. Hey, now we're talking.

This is Brunetta. This is Aubernetta.

This is Platinum.

Hi.

This is, uh... Where's my...?

There's Ash. And right

over there's Dishwater.

Can they play?

Can they play? Wonderful!

I'd like to play with them.

Oh, can they play?

I don't handle bubkes.

Girls! Hold yourselves.

Meet Jerry Garcia

of the Grateful Dead.

[CHEERING]

Jerry Garcia.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

We clap for you.

We clap for you.

No, I'm not Jerry... I'm not...

Hey, quit kicking. Ow!

Quit kicking, man.

No, I'm not Jerry...

I'm Santana, man.

You have a beautiful tan,

man. Beautiful.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I handle musicians, too.

Oh, my youth came flashing back!

Oh, my foot is in my mouth.

CHEECH:
I...

Oh, my God. Listen, I was born

to make mistakes,

like anybody else. I'm sorry.

That's okay.

Forgive us. We didn't mean it.

Have a wonderful dinner.

Enjoy this restaurant.

Thank you, I'm sorry.

Are you guys punks?

Yeah.

Maybe we can get together

and party later?

Nice, uh...

All right.

That broad stole our food.

Hey, gargoyle! More food!

Hey, we're rich, man.

Don't worry about it, man.

Excuse. I'm so sorry.

You know, I'm sorry.

Your girlfriend's here, man.

Do you know how sorry I am?

Don't feel bad you're not him.

He's him and you're you.

You're fine just the way you are.

You know?

Forget about him. I wanna meet you.

My name is Sidney and I'm an agent.

I am an agent here.

How can you tell?

Guess what? I handle look-alikes.

You do? Oh, great.

Yes!

And if ever you are hungry,

or sad and lamenting, starving,

I want you to call me.

Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna give you my card.

Sure, give me the card.

You call me, God bless you.

Oh, I'll call you.

All right. Here's my card.

Better give her a call, man.

Call her up late at night.

This is my card. Sidney, the agent.

There's my phone number.

Now, listen.

When you call,

and I hope you do...

[CHUCKLES]

I want you to wait 20 rings

because I have to climb down

two flights of stairs.

It's a phone booth. But I'm trying.

You know? We're all trying!

I want you to know you're blessed.

Really?

Have a good time.

Enjoy. Please. All right.

She did it again, man.

F***ing stole my plate that time.

Gargoyle! More food.

We're making a living.

We're rich, man.

What you want?

Lobster.

Oh, man. Look what's coming

in the door this time.

It's Night of the Living Dead.

All right...

Oh!

I don't believe it!

I don't believe it.

My baby...

Oh, sh*t. I love...

Where did you go?

Who the f*** is this?

It's your turn.

I love it. How come

you didn't call me?

You're the guy from

the hamburger train, right?

No...

Hamburger...

You're biting me.

Do you still have my panties?

What?

My panties!

Donna!

Yes, it's me!

I swear, I didn't even recognise you!

Ah, you pendejo!

I went to high school with this chick.

Yeah, I went to high school with him.

[DONNA SQUEALS]

You know about those girls

they're dipping in wax

at the wax museum?

Hey, let's get out of here. Hey.

Just a quaalude!

Good evening. How would you

like to cherish this moment

in pictures?

We have wallet-size for $5.

If you have a big wallet, it's $10.

CHONG:
No, thanks.

You're a lovely group.

I want a picture!

We'll pay for it.

I want a memory of you.

All right.

I want a picture of my tattoo.

It's very special. Okay?

Maybe the men

would like to get into the picture.

Yeah. Everybody come in.

No. Go ahead.

Okay. All right.

I have a tattoo

of all my boyfriends.

WOMAN:

Wow.

Say chop suey!

Wait, I'll give you a better look at it.

Neato!

It's fun. I like this place.

Hey, sit down, man.

She was the horniest chick

in the whole class, man.

She was supposed to be a nun.

She was gonna go in

the convent the next day.

We went on a date

and she never made it

to the convent.

She's been chewing

disco biscuits, man.

That's some wild people, man.

Donna?

Where'd she go, man?

I dunno.

Yeah. I got one, too.

Huh?

[SQUEALING AND LAUGHING]

No lobster. How about squid?

CHONG:
Squid's fine, man.

DONNA:

Squid's good.

That one's plugged up.

This is what I needed, man.

That is good sh*t, man. I love it.

CHEECH:

What're you guys doing under there?

DONNA:

Come down, baby.

That nostril's all plugged up.

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