Nice Dreams Page #5

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It's dark down here.

DONNA:
Hey, where'd everybody go?

That's good sh*t, man.

Hey, that's... That's...

DONNA:

One more time.

Oh, here you are.

How you doing?

What's the matter with you?

Hey, man, I'd better take her home,

man. She don't look like she can

drive too good, man.

I'm all in control,

so I'd better take her home.

Hey, thanks a lot, man.

It was really nice meeting you.

And be sure to take care

of the money, okay, man?

I got it.

You keep your eye on the money.

Thanks a lot, man.

CHONG:
Yeah. Hey. Yeah.

I didn't have my chop suey.

That's okay.

Hey, come on. So, how've you been?

I've been fine.

You're looking good.

I know, I gotta get my hair done...

It's okay. We're with

the Grateful Dead.

So, uh...

How about the future

of rock 'n' roll, anyway?

The future of rock 'n' roll.

Bruce Springsteen is

f***ing it all up.

Yeah. Hey, could we have a check?

Hey, hey, hey.

Bruce Springsteen's f***ing

the whole thing up.

Bruce Springsteen?

New Wave.

New Wave?

New Wave!

Yeah. You... got

any of that for sale?

For sale?

Wanna sell some of that, huh?

I sell seashells.

Seashells.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can we have a check, somebody?

WAITER:
Yeah.

[###]

DONNA:

Oh, boy!

Harder.

CHEECH:
Put your leg up.

No, put it down!

DONNA:

Push!

Harder.

CHEECH:
No, put your legs together.

DONNA:

Push!

I can't get it.

It's too dark. Sh*t.

I didn't feel a thing.

Can't get this zipper.

It's stuck. What you put

on it? Krazy Glue?

I don't know.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. God!

I have another idea.

Oh, yeah. Let's take it off

from the back.

No, no, no!

Look, there's other ways,

you know.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Why don't we do it

with our clothes on?

With our clothes on?

All right! Hey, I got it.

Hey.

Hey, Donna.

Hey. Hey.

Look, it works real good, now.

Hey, come on, baby.

Don't you wanna be awake

for this?

Hey, what do you want me to do?

She's passed out.

What would you do?

Yeah, I bet. Let's put a vote to it, man.

How many guys would do it?

Lemme see your hands.

[COUNTS SILENTLY]

All right. How many guys

wouldn't do it?

Hey, forget you.

[ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC PLAYS]

CHONG:

Don't worry about it, man.

They can't do nothing.

CHEECH:
What do you mean

don't worry about it? If they look

in the truck, we're busted.

CHONG:

Hey, man, they can't...

You, get against the car. You too.

Uh, Donna, ma'am.

You're were going to tell me

exactly where you live.

It's that high-rise building

with a glass elevator.

You can't miss it. 714.

Very good.

Nobody moves.

Hey, man.

What were you doing? Are you crazy?

Excuse me.

We hit the jackpot.

Ain't gonna do nothing.

Believe me. They can't.

What do you mean?

Illegal search and seizure, man.

I'm serious. They broke the law

coming in on private property

with their guns out, man.

That's against the law, right there.

What are you doing

coming up here with the truck

with all the music playing, man?

What are you doing here anyways?

I was returning the truck.

What were you doing here?

I was...

Every time you do coke

this happens, I swear to God.

Every time you do coke,

you get all crazy.

You name it, he's done it.

I'm gonna go bust him right now.

Oh! Come over here.

Just put that back in there.

There you go.

What are you doing?

You see, um...

I want you to think about this.

We could have ourselves

a real problem here.

You wanna bust those guys?

Yeah.

Know what's gonna happen?

What?

We gonna spend the next four days

doing paperwork.

And then we gonna spend

every spare minute we got in court.

And, in the end, you know

what they gonna do?

They gonna let them go.

Let them go?

So you know what we gonna do?

We ain't gonna get busted, man.

We got a whole truck full of dope.

They're probably gonna say,

"You guys can just go," huh?

All right, you guys can just go.

Hey, just a minute, man.

Hey, you... No...

I know my rights, man.

You can't just come over here and

say, "You can go", just like that.

You guys come in here

and you shot a hole

in our clown.

We just said that you could go.

So why don't you just go?

Yeah, let's go.

No. Hey, forget it, man.

Even if you searched the truck

and found drugs,

that would be illegal

search and seizure.

Hey, forget it, man!

You're wrong. You're wrong!

Forget the "going", man.

You're wrong. You're wrong, man.

Shut up. I don't have a licence.

See, he doesn't even have a licence.

If he had anything on us,

he'd stop us, man.

DONNA:

Home sweet home.

Don't do that.

She might have fallen.

You know what? I feel like doing

something real freaky, you know?

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

CHEECH:

Like what?

Well, you're gonna think

that I'm really weird or something.

Which floor?

Oh, push seventh.

It takes us all the way up.

Listen, you're gonna think

I'm weird, but...

I never made it with two guys before.

What?

You wanna make it with me?

Two guys at the same time?

Yeah. I've done everything twice,

but I've never made it with two guys.

Especially you two guys.

Well, we do that all the time.

You do?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Ain't that right, man?

With two guys?

CHEECH:
Oh, no!

CHONG:
No, no.

With, like, a girl at the same time.

DONNA:
Oh.

Come in.

Shh!

[DONNA LAUGHS]

DONNA:

We gotta be quiet, man.

These people around here

have been complaining about me

being too

SCREAMS:

Loud!

Well? How do you like it?

Oh, it's nice.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

I gotta get into something

more comfortable.

Oh, yeah. Something

more comfortable.

That's a good idea.

CHEECH:

Hey, look at that!

You guys don't even want

half a 'lude?

CHEECH:

Oh, yeah, half, that's good.

DROOLER:

What do you see? What's happening?

Come on, come on, come on,

tell me what's going on.

Well, let me take a peek, anyway,

for crying out loud.

[LAUGHS]

Let me look!

What are they doing?

What are they doing?

Can you see them?

Come on, man, give me a look.

Let me take a peek.

DONNA:
Oh, with ice.

CHEECH:
What?

DONNA:
Ice.

CHEECH:
Ice?

We need ice cubes.

This chick did this thing

with this guy.

And it lasts for a long time.

Oh, yeah. We need ice.

Go get some ice, man.

Go down the hall to the left.

Yeah. Get a lot of ice, man.

I've never heard of that.

It just drives me crazy.

All right.

[DONNA MUMBLES]

Get a lot of ice, man.

[MOANING]

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Who?

Animal. Oh, when did you get out,

man? You broke out?

No, you're not coming

up here, man.

Uh-uh. Listen, hey, listen.

I got a Mexican here

that'll kick your ass.

Yeah, and...

He hung up on me. Sh*t.

Who was that?

My old man.

Your old man?

Yeah.

I didn't know you had

an old man.

We're kinda married, you know?

You're married?

Mm-hm.

Where's your old man right now?

He said he was in the lobby,

but don't worry.

In the lobby?

IN DEEP VOICE:

Hey, open up in there,

goddamn it!

Oh no, don't go now.

Where you going?

Open up or I'll break

the door down!

There's nobody home!

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