Nice Dreams Page #6

---

No, don't answer the door!

Sh...

DONNA:
Who is it? Who?

All right, I'll let you in,

but the door's jammed.

Who is it? Let go of the knob

and I'll let you in.

Well, let go of...

This door is always jammed.

What's so funny? Come on,

let me look at it. Let me see.

What are they doing?

Oh, sh*t. Oh, it's just you with the ice!

I got the ice.

Oh, sh*t, man.

Hey!

Hey, man!

Hey, let me in, man!

Hey!

Hey, man. Let me in.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, open the door, man.

Let me in!

Come on, quit f***ing around!

Let me in!

Hey, look at me!

Hey!

Hey, man. I ain't bullshitting, man.

Let me in.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, man! Hey, man.

Come on, Noodles,

let me have a peek, will you?

Come on, they're my glasses.

Let me have a look. Noodles!

I should've parked on

the other side of the street.

CHEECH:

Hey, man.

MAN 1:
Don't do anything

to antagonise him.

MAN 2:
He just stepped on my towel.

WOMAN:
I'll buy you a new one.

MAN 2:
God, he's dirty-looking.

WOMAN:
Harry. I'm so scared.

WOMAN:
Harry.

MAN 3:
I think we should leave.

WOMAN:

Hi.

MAN 3:

Oh. Oh, no.

Oh, no.

ANIMAL:
Oh, yes.

MAN 2:

Please, miss. Don't look.

MAN 1:

No.

[SCREAMS]

Ow!

[WOMAN GASPS]

What are you doing

up there?

Oh, sh*t.

I asked him. Noodles wouldn't

let me have it. So big deal.

Oh, no.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[KNOCKING]

There's nobody home.

Hey, open the door.

Hey, take off, Cheech.

I'm busy.

[LAUGHS]

ANIMAL:

Hey, open the door.

Hey? Hey's not here.

Hey, open the door.

Hey, take off, Cheech.

I'll be out in a minute.

Donna.

He told you

there's nobody here.

Oh, man.

I don't believe...

Where's that wetback

son of a b*tch?

I'm gonna kill him.

Hey, man! Help!

Do you have any idea

how much those doors cost?

ANIMAL:

Killing's too damn good for him.

You know what I'll do with him?

ANIMAL:

Pull his ribs out, one at a time.

DONNA:

Oh, you big, macho man.

[###]

You think I care, Noodles?

I don't even care.

What?

[DONNA AND ANIMAL YELLING]

ANIMAL:
Where's that

menudo-eating son of a b*tch?

Get out here!

Where the hell is he?

Get your ass out here.

Come on, taco-head! You under here?

You gonna kick my ass?

Get out here and kick my ass!

DONNA:

No! No way! Stop it!

You have no class.

[LAUGHS]

That's what you are.

You animal!

Love it when you're like that, baby!

You great big animal!

CHEECH:

Oh, sh*t!

Press the button!

Press the button! Yeah!

No! Don't make it go up!

Make it go down!

[GROWLING]

DONNA:

Animal! I've got slobber all over me!

Please, please, please, please.

[SCREAMING AND MOANING]

CHEECH:

Oh, sh*t. Help. Somebody, please.

Please. Just press the button.

[SIGHING]

[SNORING]

Hey, man. Open this door.

Hey, let me in, man.

Come on.

Hey, there's a monster

in here, man.

There's gonna be a monster up

alongside your head if you don't

open this door, man. Now, come on!

No, really. There's a big biker

in here, man. He kicked the door in.

Biker? Is his name Animal?

I dunno, man.

Sh*t, he almost killed me, man.

Sh*t.

Well, come on, man.

Open the door and let me

get my clothes, man. Come on.

Well, it's open, man.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

CHEECH:
Sh*t, man.

Where's my clothes?

Oh, man, he's sleeping on them.

Well, just wear his clothes, man.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, ew, man. They're alive.

Help me find something, man.

Well, here. Here.

Wear this.

I can't wear that. That's stupid, man.

Come on, help me find something.

Oh, the money.

CHEECH:
These pants don't even fit.

I gave it to the hamburger dude.

CHEECH:
Man, this is stupid. Come on.

Come on, let's get out of here.

CHEECH:

Man, this is stupid.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, ha, ha, ha. You're very funny.

So funny, I forgot to laugh.

Sh*t. Where's our money, man?

I cashed a cheque

for the hamburger dude.

What? You gave him our money?

What? Hey, man,

I trust the dude.

You took a cheque for all our money?

Well, that...

It's good. It's a cheque, man.

Aw, sh*t, man.

All the money we worked for,

all the stuff we sold,

and you gave him the money?

Well, he gave me the cheque.

How long have we been dealing?

Three months.

And what's the first thing you learn?

Don't take a cheque!

How we gonna cash this thing, man?

Well, the way you cash cheques.

You take it to a bank,

and you give them the cheque.

You go to the bank and cash

the cheque and they ask you,

"Could I see some ID?"

You got any ID?

You got a driver's licence?

No.

No. Do you got a library card?

No.

Because you can't read! Because

if you could read, you could see

"Bank of Dumb Sh*t", man.

How we gonna cash this?

Oh, man! There goes our island.

There goes our topless waitresses.

There goes our pia colonics

in the sun, man.

There goes a guitar in every room.

No room!

I can't believe you gave him...

See, that's what happens.

Every time you do coke, man,

that's what happens.

I swear to God, man.

Hey, wait a minute, man.

Every time I do coke, you get on

that "every time I do coke" rap.

That's right, man, it goes

straight to your brain

and messes it up, man.

You're not gonna have

a brain no more, man.

Hey, listen, there's a lot

of smart dudes who do coke, man.

Yeah? Like who?

Like, Sherlock Holmes does coke.

And he isn't so stupid.

Sherlock Holmes?

Well, come on, Sherlock.

Let's go find our money.

Goddamn it.

Excuse me, ma'am.

I hope she has

a friend for me.

For your sake,

I hope she does too, partner.

Hey, thanks a lot, man. I mean, ladies.

Bye-bye.

Those are the ugliest chicks

I ever saw in my life.

No kidding, man.

But if they're so ugly, how come

you were hitting on them?

I wasn't hitting on them, man.

Well, that part about asking them

if they were models, man.

I was trying to be nice, man.

Models for Kal-Can dog food.

It's over here, man.

Come on, let's get our money.

IN HIGH VOICE:

Toodle! Any time, big boys!

It was our pleasure!

[LAUGHING]

IN NORMAL VOICE:

Noodles, they fell for it.

That disguise worked perf...

You were absolutely right.

This is a perfect disguise.

Perfect disguise.

Good thinking, Noodles.

Good thinking.

Let's go and tell sarge.

[ENGINE STUTTERING]

What are you doing, Noodles?

Noodles, what are you doing?

Keep your hands to yourself.

Goddamn car.

Noodles, let me alone!

Noodles! Get your hands off me.

Goddamn it, Noodles, stay away.

Noodles! God, get this thing started.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Noodles! Let go of that.

Come on, Noodles, not now.

Noodles, keep your hands

to yourself, goddamn it. Noodles!

CHONG:

Locked up.

There's nobody home.

Sh*t, I can't believe

you were so stupid.

You gave him all our money.

Let's go home.

No, man.

We ain't going no place

until we get all our money.

Sh*t. I can't believe

you were so stupid.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna get our money, man.

I don't care.

God, you're so

dumb-ass sometimes.

I'm getting so tired of thinking

for both of us, man.

My brain's getting tired.

Well, don't just stand there.

Give me a hand, man.

So stupid. God.

Man, if brains was gunpowder,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes