Noobz Page #10

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should answer it.

Should I? All right,

he probably just wants

to have a drink or something.

Dude, this better be good.

All right? I was about

to get to first base.

What? Hollywood's dead?

What are you talking...

All right, all right.

I'm on my way, I'm on my way.

I gotta go. Hollywood...

Something happened to him.

- Well, I'm coming with you.

- Fair enough. Let's do it.

[muffled hip-hop plays]

Just tell me

he's gonna be all right.

Mr. Theodore's gonna be fine.

- Who's Mr. Theodore?

- It's Hollywood, you idiot.

We're gonna need to probably

keep him for 24 hours.

Wait, but if he's gonna be fine,

then why can't we just

take him right now?

If one of you guys was

like a parent or guardian,

we could probably bend them

and keep him for 12,

but since you're not,

we're gonna have to take him.

The tourney starts

in 12 hours exactly.

But that ain't really

gonna help us because his

mother's two states away.

- You know?

- Sorry, guys.

Wish we could help you guys.

You know what?

What are we gonna do, dude?

All this work, all this time,

we were close.

I'm gonna be honest,

I took the entire week off

at the shoe store.

I don't have time for this.

- What do you think...

- Whoa, whoa, ma'am!

What are you...?

- Why is she talking

her clothes off?

- I'm running interference.

Do me a favor.

Please go get them again.

- [mumbles]

- Do what she said.

Hurry up! Thank you.

- Um, you're doctors, right?

- Uh, EMTs.

Same thing? OK, good.

I have a problem. I'm worried

that this mole is cancerous.

It's... let me see.

It was purple.

It's now brown.

That's a bad thing, right?

I got a tattoo on top of it.

I was worried about it.

- Can we see it again?

- Yeah.

Does that look cancerous? Wait.

Where'd it go?

- Clarence?

- It's Clarence.

Look, man, you know,

back in the day, you know,

I was doing my thing.

- I wasn't really ready...

- No, no, no. You don't owe me

an explanation.

- You owe it to Hollywood.

- Hollywood?

It's his gamer tag, man.

The kid's a good player,

kind of like his father is.

- Was. Or is.

- Both.

You're father and son,

I'm sure if he grew

a fabulous redneck waterfall,

he'd look just like you.

But we need you right now.

He needs you.

You gotta go talk to these EMTs

and get him out of here.

- We got a tournament to win.

- All right, man,

I'll take care of it.

You just watch what I do.

Just... Hey, man.

- You're a good guy.

- I'm the best guy I know.

- Come over here

and give me some sugar...

- No, no, no.

Whoa, chill, Billy Ray!

Glad I could help the family,

but I don't need

to fall in love.

All right, you'll

work it out later.

[rock music plays]

Open the door!

Come on!

I'll meet you at the hotel!

- [shouting, cheering]

- Go, go, go!

Get my air going,

get my air going!

- Incredible! That was so fun!

- What are you doing, Greg?

- I feel like the Lone Ranger.

- Oh, my goodness.

Hey... Hey, uh... Clarence.

Little man, I hope

you're not too tired,

'cause, uh, man,

we got some talking to do.

- All right.

- Yeah!

Sick mullet, bro.

[Hollywood] Guys, my dad.

We sat there all night talking.

- [Andy] Oh, my goodness.

- So, what you're saying

is that your dad

- is super rich.

- Hell yeah.

No, what he was saying

is that he was talking

to him all night.

And I think that's nice.

How do you feel?

I'm feeling good, bro.

I mean, I don't know

what my mom's gonna say,

but she has her new boyfriend,

so whatever.

- Yeah.

- Wait a minute.

Actually, speaking of that,

let me ask you a question.

If you look like that,

would you be dating that?

You know what I'm saying?

- Feel it. See that?

- [Andy] That's not cool.

[Hollywood] My mom? Yeah.

That's his sexy look, dude.

That's like his...

- That's his GQ look.

- You know what that is?

That is a "get me the f*** out

of here, this sucks."

Just put it away, bro.

You don't have a sympathetic

bone in your body, do you?

- Wait a minute, say what?

- You do not

have a sympathetic bone

in your body.

What? Dude, I...

I got the band back together.

You might as well

call me Oprah, bro.

- Oprah...

- I don't play any instruments.

Speaking of Oprah,

we should really

- focus today.

- Your mom played

your dad's instrument.

That's how you came out.

You know what I'm saying?

And you wouldn't have known that

had it not been for me.

- I don't understand that.

- Real vulgar and cruel...

- ...such a small person.

- I'm petite sized.

- Dude, he's like tween.

- I'm fun sized.

Oh! OK, I'm gonna go

drop a deucer.

- Take a little poopie.

- There you go.

- Need someone to wipe?

- No, I'm good.

[dance music plays]

[Brian] What a second day so

far. Two teams that no one

expected to make it

to make it to the

final four did.

The Pixies and the Reign Clan.

They have proven to everyone

these two days that they deserve

to be amongst the elite.

Let me get the

five fingers, baby!

Well, guess what?

That could all end here.

I'm just being honest.

I'm going up top.

I need help.

- [overlapping chatter]

- Right behind you.

- Give it back!

- [overlapping chatter]

- Good job, girls.

- The other left! Left!

- I'm going down!

- Taking center.

- Man, smoke 'em!

- Where's blue eyes? Come here.

- Let's not mess this up now.

Come on!

- That's a little gift from me.

[Brian] I cannot

believe what I'm seeing!

The Pixies are about to shut out

the third team...

- Yes!

- I cannot believe this!

The Pixies are in the finals!

Whoo!

Now, for our next seminal

match we have underdog

Reign team

versus the top-ranked clan

in the tourney,

the Black Assassins.

It may be curtains

for the Reign Clan.

Damn! This is like

a storybook ending for us.

We've never lost to any

of the three clans left.

Look, I know your ho left you.

And I know you hurt deep inside.

Stuff like that happens

to the best of us.

- And?

- So just let me know

when I need to

send your ho back home! [laughs]

Look at your

pitiful, dumped ass!

- You guys are gonna get served.

- Sit down, Chomama,

before I sit you down.

Yo, nobody leaves the spawn.

I've got this.

Big words.

OK, alrighty.

- Is the Reign Clan ready?

- All right, boys, let's go.

Black Assassins clan ready?

Really?

It is on!

What are you doing?

[Brian] We are

on the way, people.

Hollywood, please stop talking.

[Brian] Already

the Reign Clan seems

as if they are playing

the offensive.

Hollywood with a shotgun

to the face! Bow!

- Lance to the bunghole.

- I can't get up!

[Brian] One by one, the Black

Assassins are going down.

- I think I'm going down.

- [Brian] Reign Clan...

- Yes!

- Come on, Chomama.

It's your squad,

you gotta step up.

[Brian] Game two under way,

it's do or die

for the Black Assassins.

Same thing.

- Where's Chomama?

- [Brian] Just two many

Reign Clan members left.

They got 'em cornered!

RumPull4Skinz...

Chomama...

- Whoa, baby!

- Get 'em up!

Last one, last one, get it!

I got him, I got him!

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