Noobz Page #11

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[Brian] Fraggett with the kill!

- In your face, yeah!

- Yeah! Yeah!

Oh! Put that in your pipe

and suck it... smoke it!

Put that in your pipe

and smoke it!

[Brian] Reign Clan goes through

to the final!

[cheering]

- You guys suck.

- See that?

[Cody] Who sucks?

Yo, Chomama.

You can keep that ho.

Man, shut up.

And you know it's not about

the winning, it's about...

- Whoa!

- Congratulations!

[referee] Well, a little bit

about the winning.

[woman] ...15 minutes 'til

final.

They didn't give us

much time to celebrate

before we have to

- play against each other.

- You guys played well though.

You should be proud of yourself.

Oh, no, you don't.

Not until we play.

Play what?

Coming?

Hoo! Yeah, baby!

That's what I'm talking about.

[woman] Reign Clan. Please

report to the mainstage for

final.

Hey, Greg.

I can't stay.

I really gotta go.

They just called us up.

- Oh, yeah, no. I understand.

- Yeah...

- OK.

- Well...

- I hope you win?

- Yeah. [laughs]

- Right.

- Thanks, man.

- All right. I'll see you.

- So... wait, wait.

You know, look,

I hope you...

...you do good too.

- Thanks. Yeah.

- OK? All right.

- All right.

- Clarence.

I just want you

to know something.

I really feel like you're

a part of me, you know?

Not just a, like, a little bit

of my dribble, you know?

- And... you know.

- Right.

- I mean, good luck.

- Thank you.

- Man... son. All right.

- All right.

No. Pound. It's cool.

All right.

- All right.

- Bye.

So, for our Frogger

championship,

we have Scott Pride

from Trenton, New Jersey.

And Greg "Armagreggon" Lipstien.

Kind of big.

You're going down.

From your perspective,

I already am down.

Greg, you'll be playing first.

OK.

Would you please

step over there?

Uh, Greg, are you all right?

Yeah.

As a matter of fact,

for the first time

in a long time...

...I am all right.

Congratulations, man.

- It's all yours.

- Greg!

- What are you doing, man?

- You know what I'm doing?

I am gonna go watch my son

win the Gears of War

championship.

- [stammering]

- Armagreggon! Out!

Um...

OK. Well, then I guess

congratu... lations?

- Yeah. Uh-huh.

We have a winner.

- Thanks, man. Thanks!

- Yes!

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Exciting. Exciting day.

- People, I have to be honest.

You know Brian Simmons always

keeps it real.

But I could have never predicted

that they would have been

in my bracket final.

The Pixies vs. the Reign Clan.

They have done the impossible.

There's so much ass beat around

here 'cause they kick

so much ass,

the Cyber Bowl champions

will be decided here!

Reign team, are you ready?

Pixies, are you ready?

Let's do this!

[Brian] Both teams

are rushing the center.

Pixie girl hiding

behind the door.

- Bam!

- [Brian] Oh! It appears

Reign Clan got the jump

on the Pixies.

- Yes!

- [Brian] Too spread out!

What are they doing? They're

getting cut down one by one.

Yes! That's what

I'm talking about!

- That's what I'm talking about!

- One left, one left.

Whoo! Yes!

[Brian] Reign team

takes first game.

One down, one to go.

All right, one more.

Next one, baby.

- [shouting] Damn it!

- That's right.

[Brian] The Pixies seem to be

taking the initiative

on round two

by overloading the right side

of the arena. Good work, ladies.

- I'm out. I'm done.

- Reign Clan is in trouble.

I see tears in their eyes.

I know you want booty from her,

but damn, dude!

[Brian] One more, and yes,

the Pixies take game two!

They cheated!

[Brian] Here it is, the final

game to determine this year's

Cyber Bowl champion.

All right, come on, guys.

This is the last one.

We take this, we're the winners.

$100,000.

Oh, yeah, baby,

you go make me a sandwich.

I got it! I got it!

Oh, I am so... I'm dead.

I'm dead.

[Brian] The Pixies waste no time

taking out Hollywood

and Fraggett.

It looks like RumPull4Skinz

is in trouble.

Pr3daTurD is trying to save

RumPull. He kills

the third Pixies,

but RumPull gets taken out

by Girlguns.

It's just one player left

from each team.

It appears that Pr3daTurD is...

yes! He is right

behind Girlguns.

Just me...

[Brian] This is game over!

This is game over!

All he needs to do is shoot!

Wait. Why is he not shooting?

- [slow-motion] Shoot!

- What are you doing?

- Do it!

- Shoot!

[Brian] He's

just standing there.

He looks...

....like he's letting

that booty

go to his head!

Blast that booty!

Yes! End of this game!

The booty wins!

[slow-motion yelling]

- [cheering]

- [Brian] The Pixies win

the championship!

[Brian] Oh! We got some extra

curricular activities going on

the stage right now.

It appears Pr3daTurD

is getting his butt

whipped by his teammates.

This has been the

best Cyber Bowl ever!

You got hot white chicks

winning, you got crazy white

guys killing each other.

I love it!

I got my ticket for next year.

See you there. Brian Simmons,

and I feel like

I need my assistant.

- That'll work.

- [cheering]

[Andy] I think she loves me.

I hope so.

I mean, I don't get it.

But I understand probably how

you would have worked that out

in your head that that was OK

to do, but I don't get it.

You accept it?

I hope so, 'cause I think

you guys broke my rib.

Listen, my wife left me,

I've got no job,

I've got a car

with my face on it

that I have to drive around in.

And we just lost

because of you.

To be honest, my life could

not get any worse right now.

Hey, babe.

I've just, you know,

been losing. Thank you.

You wanna chill

for a second, actually?

Why don't you get Papa

a Diet Pepsi? Yeah.

I take that back, man.

My life could get worse.

What the hell just happened?

The old ball and chain.

No biggie.

Hey, how you doing?

Nice to meet you guys.

Mike Patterson from Mountain

Dew. You were very

impressive up there.

- Just great.

- He blew the game for us.

Where were you at, bro?

- You didn't see that?

- Oh, no, no. I was here,

and what I see

is enormous potential

for Mountain Dew,

and I'd love to sign you guys

to a two-year deal.

Are you yanking

our dick right now?

Um, no.

Are you yanking

my dick right now?

That was me. Sorry.

- I'm sorry, who?

- So, what I'd like to do

is sign you guys to a two-year

deal, you'd travel

all around the world

playing in professional

video game tournaments.

Guarantee of a six-figure

contract. Well, for most of you.

- Minus dick boy over here.

- Oh, that's me. No.

- No, you're in. I'm kidding.

- OK.

- Let's do it.

- If it's real, I'm in.

Why don't we meet in the lobby

in an hour and work out

all the details.

Is that... did that just happen?

Did that just happen?

- [cheering]

- [rock music plays]

Every day

Every day

Stop panicking

Turn into a mannequin

Take a breath now, ahh

Begin again

Open your eyes, please

Turn your smile on

Realign with now as well

You start freaking out

Wishing you were peaking out

Hold it together now

Instead of leaking out

Turn your smile on

Turn your smile up bright

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