Noobz Page #9

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I'm down on my knees

Give it a rub and a squeeze

Rub up and squeeze

Rub, rub and squeeze

Rub and squeeze

Rub, rub and squeeze

- Let me hear you now!

- Rub and squeeze

- Rub...

- All right, I got it.

I've got it. We played well.

I am taking us

to a strip club.

What?! Yes! Oh!

I am so down with that!

- What? What?

- [laughter]

No! Come on! No, seriously,

we're not gonna do this again.

Yes, yeah, I wanna

go see some breasts.

- [laughing]

- Guys, guys.

I'm... I'm 17. I don't...

How am I gonna get in?

You guys can just leave me

at IHOP or something,

that's cool.

What are you guys,

a couple of altar boys? You

never snuck in anywhere?

- Come on, man.

- My mom's room.

I'm sure there's a story there,

but I got this.

All right? I will get us in.

Just let me handle it.

- [music plays]

- Rub and squeeze

- Rub, rub and squeeze

-Let me hear you now!

Rub and squeeze

Rub, rub...

Um, so... [laughs]

Lord of the Rings Trilogy,

for sure,

is like the Star Wars trilogy

of my generation.

Yeah, no. I'm pretty sure the

Star Wartrilogy is still

the Star Wars trilogy

- of your generation.

- That's not very nice.

[laughs] Well, you're lucky

I like older men.

- Especially gamers.

- We are pretty hot, aren't we?

I mean, we get to sit around

one place,

constantly, right,

with our awesome diets,

which consists of, you know,

I don't know potato chips

for vegetables,

and protein from beef jerky.

And then the awesome bags

of candy

- for the flawless complexion.

- Mm.

Right? I would say we're like

ripped cyber... athletes.

- Right?

- I knew I'd like you as much

in person as I did in the game.

- You make me laugh.

- Why wouldn't I? I mean...

- Is your dinner delicious?

- Yes. Thank you.

- Here's your coffee.

- Awesome. He's delicious.

Not really, but anyway, um,

so what would you do

if you won the $100,000

in the tournament?

Look, fat chance

of that happening.

- I think it's possible.

- I guess I'd get

my parents' house back.

Wait, back? What happened

with the house?

Let's just say the economy

hasn't been that good

to my family.

- Sorry to hear that.

- So, um...

I don't know wanna

talk about it.

- Yeah, neither do I.

- Sad story,

and we're on a date,

so we should be...

- ...about happy things.

- What do you wanna do now?

[dance music plays]

[Cody] All right, be cool.

We got this.

- Not gonna work.

- Yeah, Cody, let's just

get out of here.

In the car you were all about

some naked ladies, man,

and Hollywood hasn't seen vagina

since the one that popped

his wheezing ass out. Chill!

I've got this.

Sup, man? Uh, listen,

this guy over here is...

- What do you think he's doing?

- I have no idea.

I'm going to jail, man.

I'm going to jail.

And I'm gonna get raped

by a 300-pound ass pirate

named Buford.

And that's a bad thing?

Yeah, no, that's a totally...

That's bad.

That's like the worst

thing you could do.

I got three coming in.

Thanks, man.

Thanks, man.

Come on!

I just want you to know

that I admire your courage,

little man. Come in.

- This is awesome!

- [dance music plays]

I'm a get down

and shake my ass

I'm a get down and

shake my ass

Hey, guys. Come on in.

- What'd you tell him?

- I told him you had AIDS

and you were gonna sneeze in his

face if he didn't let you in.

What? All these hot naked chicks

and they think I got AIDS?

I told him you were dying.

Now just shut up

and sit down, man.

- Enjoy yourself.

- Can I get you anything?

- Three wuwus.

- [dance music continues]

On the door she's all on me

Let's go back to the room

Donkey-donk, shake your ass

Then go back to the room

G-G-D-A-K-A

Girl get down on the tune

Girl get down

Shake your ass

Then go back to the room

Thank you!

I know he can see

I'm into him

I can tell he wants me too

On the dancefloor I'm into

him, he's done it too

Onto him on the dancefloor

He's turning too

- I'm a get down to my ass

- I gotta get out of here.

Take care of him.

Put him onstage or something.

- What's his problem?

- I have no idea.

Girl, get down

Shake your ass

[laughs] He's probably blowing

the bouncer for letting you in.

You think that's what

he's doing? You think...?

He's probably not.

No, he's not.

Shake it harder, girl

Get down, shake it harder

I'm a get down

Shake it harder

Sup, dude? Um...

It's my friend's birthday.

I was wondering if maybe

we can get him onstage.

- Hollywood.

- Hollywood?

Yeah.

Is this cashmere?

This is totally cashmere.

You don't have to play me.

[DJ] I need all the dancers

to head to the centerstage.

We've got a special guest

tonight, and it's his birthday.

I need Hollywood to report

to the centerstage.

I repeat, Hollywood,

get your ass on the stage.

- [hip-hop plays]

- I know she a freak 'cause

she like it from the back

And the booty goes clap

The booty goes clap

Dancing in the front

and I'm dancing in the back

Get it, Hollywood!

Get it, Hollywood!

[grunting]

'Cause she like it

from the back

The booty go clap

It's your birthday!

It's your birthday!

But it's not, but it is.

Right? Boom!

This is the greatest

night of my life!

I want some titties,

but I don't. But I do.

[DJ] Come on out, Milkshake,

and show Hollywood

a real good time.

Get it, girl!

Oh, a milkshake is coming!

[booming]

Milkshake is coming.

Milkshake is coming. Oh!

Yes! Waiting for it!

Yeah!

That's my baby girl!

Get it! Get it! Right?

Yeah! Uh!

Uh, no! Uh! [laughs]

Right in the crack.

Watch out, Hollywood!

She's coming for you!

Don't worry, baby. It's only

gonna hurt a little.

[Oliver] She's gonna hurt you?

Here we go.

[whimpering]

[Oliver laughing]

Right in the crack.

Right in the crack, girl.

Get it! Get it!

- [whimpering]

- Get it!

Who's the boss?

Who's the boss?

You're the boss.

This is your company.

You're managing this. Right?

That's what I'm talking about.

What's up? You wanna touch it?

Go ahead, give me the love.

Oh, give me the love.

- I know, I see you. Hi! Hi!

- [gasping]

What? Boobies?

All up in your mouth.

[gasping]

Hollywood? What are you doing?

Hollywood! Back up!

Milkshake, please back up!

Milkshake, please!

Hollywood! Breathe!

Can you breathe?

Can you breathe!

Why is nobody helping?!

It's not a show!

Hollywood, come on, buddy!

Breathe for me!

Your eyes are rolling back.

Is this pleasurable?

What are you doing?

Help us!

Ma'am! Ma'am! Ma'am! Ma'am!

Call 911! Ma'am! Ma'am?

[Oliver] Cody! Cody!

Cody! Cody!

Milkshake killed Hollywood, bro!

- Cody!

- Oh, my God!

Did I kill the baby?!

Oh, my God!

Milkshake don't kill!

Did I kill the baby?!

Oh, my God!

I've had a great time tonight.

As did I. I mean, finally

we got a little face to face

time together, right?

I agree. It's been good to

finally spend some time

with you.

- It has.

- [cell phone ringtone plays]

- I'm sorry, is that Cody again?

- So annoying.

That's four times in five

minutes. Maybe you

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