Noobz Page #8

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pot calling the kettle black...

- You had it.

- So why is he so mad?

I don't know if he's mad

or if he's scared.

- Scared?

- Yeah, uh, Anthrax told him

that if he ever met him

in real life that he

would stab him in the face.

What? Oh, dude, that's classic.

Which one's Anthrax?

Um... don't!

See the guy shaving his head?

- Mm-hm.

- Yeah. That would be him.

Oh, my god...

He's looking right at me.

Don't look he's gonna kill us,

bro!

- [gasping] He's gonna kill us.

- You can't show fear.

He can smell fear.

So we need to pull it back.

Pull it in. Not... Don't sit

down in the middle of the floor.

OK, he's still looking.

Hold on, he might

be checking me out.

- Might be?

- He's not checking me out.

You might wanna

have sex with him.

Next game up is Acid Reign

versus the "Riegn" clan.

What the hell is that? Do you

know what the "Riegn" clan is?

Whatever.

OK, players.

Let's keep it clean out there.

- No foul language...

- I'm gonna kill you.

Uh, no mocking of making fun

of the other team.

And if there are no further

questions, then let's get it on!

- Hollywood.

- Yes?

- Get over here, man.

- [Brian] Right out the gate,

it appears that Acid Reign

is taking it

to Reign Clan member Fraggett.

- I'm dead.

- He's gone!

- He just...

- Come on, man!

I'm about to get this guy.

Here we go, here we go.

Hollywood eats

a grenade compliments

of Mr. Acid himself.

Every one of you guys are dead?

- Go...

- Oh!

- Damn it!

- RumPull4Skinz just got

jacked in the face!

I'll talk to him.

RumPull, where you going?

Move. Move.

- This is embarrassing, man.

- What the hell? It's only

the first game!

Come on, man!

We suck and you know it!

You dragged me out here, man.

This is ridiculous! I told you

this was gonna happen!

Look, maybe we suck,

but you don't, man.

We rushed in too far,

we got grenaded.

Look, we could do this

- if you'd just play...

- You got a game plan now?

What, like eighth grade

when you made us get in that

damn breakdancing competition?

Bro, we look stupid, man!

Look at this! You made me drive

across the country in a car

with my face on it!

I don't even work

for that company anymore!

- Are you done?

- I'm tired of listening to you.

It's been too many years.

- Let's go back. Breakdancing?

- I'm done.

- Didn't we win that sh*t?

- There was nobody else

- in the freaking competition!

- It doesn't matter!

We still won! Didn't we?

And we can win this, man,

you need to prove it to yourself

and to that escaped convict.

And look, the convict's

violating Hollywood's headpiece.

[screaming]

And you don't wanna drive around

that car anymore, do you?

Maybe we can get some

sponsorship, you can drive

around in a Mini Coop

with some, like, 22s

and, like, the Gears logo

with the gun and me.

You always got it figured out,

don't you?

- I try. Come on...

- If we lose this sh*t, man,

- you're walking home.

I'm telling you.

- Fair enough.

- Let's do this, Reign ho.

- You're a ho.

Get out here. Come on.

Wow! After a very, very

intense lovers' scuffle,

seems like the Reign Clan

members are gonna stick around

and continue the match.

Nobody leaves a spar.

I got this.

- All right, go.

- Stay to the left.

Oh! I'm gonna chainsaw his

bung piece!

- I got him in the bung piece!

- [Brian] Wow, the Reign Clan

is on a mission now.

RumPull4Skinz is methodically

weaving his way

through the match.

We got a one-one tie

in the best of three match.

That's what I'm talking about.

Once again, RumPull4Skinz looks

like a man possessed,

- continuing to dominate.

- Come on! They're closing in.

They have Acid Reign team

up against the ropes. Whoa!

The kid just fragged Mr. Acid

on his own team!

- Get him! Get him!

- [cheering]

Reign team wins!

They will be moving on.

You stupid ass!

You just killed me!

- [shouting]

- I'm sorry, bro.

You're sorry?

What are you talking about?

That's what I'm talking about!

- Yo, yo, yo!

- [grunting]

Get off me! Get off me,

you monster! Get off me!

- Ooh!

- [Mr. Acid] Cody!

Don't have to worry about him

killing you before

the tourney's over now.

That's a good thing.

That's what I'm talking about!

- Let's get out of here.

- Let's go.

- I'm gonna kill you, Cody!

- [Brian] Oh!

How often do you see that?

Two white guys get thrown out

and the black guy's still here.

I love this game.

Oh, I'm sorry. I can't hear you.

My grenade is so

far up your ass.

The two biggest surprises

of the day, the Pixies

and Reign Clan.

They advanced through

some tough competition,

and they deserve

to get some rest.

The bank is closed,

we'll see you tomorrow.

- [hip-hop plays]

- Let me see your hands up

in the air

You ever thought of greasing

those wheels, Hollywood?

Tried it.

It doesn't work.

- Mind if I sit with you?

- You know,

I never thought I'd say this,

but yes. You can sit with me.

We really did it today, huh?

We made it to the final eight.

We did, man.

It's because of you.

I gotta disagree, Mr. Wood.

I think you proved that even

though you look like a retard

pulling around a Scud missile,

you can play with the big boys.

Thanks, man. That means

a lot coming from you.

Oh! That masseuse

was to die for.

[laughs] Feel like a new man.

- That's a first.

- [laughs]

Oh, that's... that's awesome.

I'm gone for like two seconds,

and you've taught him to be you.

That's great.

Just a complete douche.

- Wait, where's Andy?

- I think he's getting ready

for his big date.

- [Cody] Mm.

- Yeah.

[muttering]

Yeah!

Oh, sh*t. Now I smell like...

a flower.

It looks like I have

cheese on my mouth.

Hi, Ricki. Hi, Ricki. No.

Should I call her by her

gamer tag. Hello, Girlgunz.

Stupid. Hi, Ricki.

Ah! Dah!

I'm gonna hit that!

No, wait, that's rude.

After you.

After you. That sounds genuine.

I'm a gentleman.

Hello, Ricki.

Hi, Ricki! Ricki! No.

Hey, what's up, Ricki? No.

Hey, Ricki! Ricki!

She's coming in,

she's walking through the door,

we're sitting, waitin',

I see her walk up.

Oh, hey! Yeah, I loved

playing with you!

We're good...

we're a good team.

No, we're not on the same team.

And I always kill her.

I'm better than her.

I shouldn't be

going out with her.

Yes, I should.

I think I love her.

OK, this is it, man.

I'm gonna get that.

Yah! Dah!

[shouting]

To the butt, to the butt.

Let's do it.

[hip-hop plays]

Getting naked

Getting, getting naked

Crazy, getting naked

Getting, getting naked

Getting naked

Getting, getting naked

Getting naked

Getting, getting naked

Getting naked

Getting, getting naked

Sitting down

like you in a bus stop

Lick you up and down then

taste you like a lollipop

Everybody like it

when I hit the spot

Legendary with my freakin'

when I let it pop

- Yes. Oh!

- Hi, lovely.

- Look what I got you.

- Thank you.

You look very handsome.

- Shall we?

- Yeah.

- [pop music plays]

- You are my wizard sleeve

You must say pretty please

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