Norbit Page #3

Oh, yeah, girl.

Come on, girl, that's sweet chocolate!

Okay, you in trouble, now.

You in trouble. You in trouble, now.

I'm Willy Wonka.

Get up on that Oompa Loompa.

That's sweet. Oh, yeah.

Take all that, girl.

Take it with your big old self, girl.

You ain't never had it like this.

You ain't never had it like this!

Hell, yeah.

Come on, we gonna do pig in a blanket.

Come on, pig in a blanket.

Now squeal. Squeal! Squeal!

Oink, oink, oink!

Take it from the back.

Damn, I feel like Willy Wonka,

all this sweet chocolate up in this...

Hey. How you doing, man?

What's good with you, brother?

How's it going, man? How you doing?

I'm Bustamove Perkin.

How you doing?

Man, your wife was

just talking about you.

Man, she love you.

You're Rasputia's tap dance teacher.

Man, actually, I'm her powertap guru.

I was just here

giving her a little tap lesson.

But you're naked.

That's just so she could see

the various muscle groups

as I go through the various routines.

You see that there?

You can't see that with a turtleneck.

And you have an...

Oh, man,

I'm just real passionate about dance.

You can say the word "dance"

and he just jump up. Dance!

See that? See that there?

'Sputia?

Norbit, Buster's a guest in our home.

How dare you insinuate

something like that?

Yeah, Orbit!

How dare you insinuate

something such like that!

You know, I am actually offended

by your accusization, you understand?

And rather than sit here and have

a belligerent confrontation with you,

'cause I am a Godfearing man,

I'm'a do like Jesus H. Christ

would do in a situation such as such

and I'm gonna turn the other cheek.

Amen.

You happy now?

Rasputia, you cheated on me!

Look, I told your ass

ain't nothing happened,

and the next time you say

it happened again,

I'm gonna knock your teeth

out your mouth.

Rasputia, we took vows.

I'm your husband.

Rasputia, we took vows,

and you cheated on me!

It never happened!

Yes, it did!

And that makes you

the queen of whores!

Hey, Norbit!

Run for your lives!

Bastard! Come here!

Oh, sweet Moses! Oh, my God!

Come here! Come here!

Come here to me!

No! Leave me alone!

You ain't nothing

but a goddamn coward!

Saddle tramp!

That's what your stupid black ass get!

I hope you broke your ass!

Since you feel like running, Norbit,

why don't you run your ass

down to the Rib Shak

and get me a short stack of ribs?

And get me a short stack of ribs?

Extra hot sauce.

All this setting you straight

done got me famished.

I'm Little Red Riding Goose,

walking through the forest,

minding my own business,

when all at once...

Hello.

Who are you?

I'm the big, bad pig of the forest.

My, what big eyes you have, Pig.

The better to see you with, Goose.

And my, what a big nose you have, Pig.

The better to smell them scrumptious

goodies you got in your basket.

Hey, let me take a look in there.

Oh, no, you don't.

You're gonna try to steal my food.

No, I won't steal your food.

Don't let that pig

push you around, Goose.

Yeah, I'm tired of

you pushing me around.

Look, I'm tired of

playing with your ass, b*tch.

I know you got ribs in that basket.

You better give them up smooth

or I'm gonna break my hoof off

in your goose ass.

Oh, really? Well, why don't you get up

off of your lazy behind

and go down to the Rib Shak

and get your own ribs?

Or better still,

why don't you just call Buster

and tell him to come over

and powertap you,

because in addition to being

the pig of the forest,

you're also a saddle tramp,

whore, b*tch pig...

Norbit! What you doing?

This supposed to be a children's show.

This remind me

of Chinese snuff film I once costar in.

I'm sorry. I got a little carried away.

Wow, Norbit,

that was some puppet show.

Oh, come on. You don't remember me?

Kate. Kate.

Come here!

Kate! Kate! Oh, God!

I can't believe it! Kate!

Well, can I have a hug?

Norbit.

It just like old times.

Maybe you two go take poop together.

This place has not changed at all.

Oh, yeah. Some of this furniture's

even come back in style.

So, how long are

you gonna be visiting for?

No, I'm not visiting. I'm moving back.

Really? Wow.

I sold my clothing business in Atlanta,

and I'm going to use the money

to buy the orphanage.

What?

Mr. Wong's getting older.

He wants to go whaling, so...

You know, it's always been my dream

to come back here and take over.

That's great.

Norbit, look.

That's the tree we got married under.

You know, I've still got my ring.

I ate mine.

I missed you so much when you left.

I missed you, too.

That's my car.

We didn't really get a chance

to catch up much.

I'll be back in town on Tuesday.

You wanna have lunch?

Yeah, I would love to

have lunch on Tuesday.

I love lunch.

Okay.

Lunch, yes. For sure.

I love lunch. Tuesday.

I'll see you Tuesday.

I'll see you on Tuesday.

We'll have lunch on Tuesday.

Tuesday.

Tuesday. Tuesday.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,

Tuesday.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,

Tuesday, Tuesday...

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.

Tuesday, Tuesday...

Say "Tuesday" again

and you ain't gonna see Wednesday!

I got it. I'll get it. Tuesday.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.

Buster. How you doing? You look great.

Hey.

Oh, thank you, man.

Good to see you. Good to see you.

Thank you.

I thought you were gonna be at work.

Yeah, I'm on my way out now.

But hey, look,

there's cold beer in the refrigerator

and there's fresh sheets on the bed.

Go have a great dance lesson.

All right.

All right.

Powertap.

Very good, very good.

Tuesday.

What's wrong with your boy?

He real cool all of a sudden.

Yeah, I don't know what the hell got

into him, but I know I got dance fever.

Ready for a little powertap, huh?

Lord, give me strength.

Hey, Sam, happy Tuesday.

Norbit.

Norbit.

Hey, Kate. Hi.

Come on, I got us a table.

Great. I've been looking forward to this

all week.

Good.

Hey.

Hey. Who's he?

Norbit, this is my fianc, Deion Hughes.

How you doing, my man?

Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

This is your fianc?

Yes, sir.

I was just telling Deion that you and I

were buddy partners at the orphanage.

Now she and I are buddy partners.

Shame on you, man,

letting a girl go like this. I feel for you.

And so Deion's got all this experience

in real estate,

so he's going to help me buy

the orphanage, Norbit. It's so exciting!

No, wait, wait. No, no.

Slow down, slow down.

I mean, you know,

we're just out here just scouting it out.

All right? This is her nest egg,

you know.

I don't want her

Rate this script:3.5 / 2 votes