Norbit Page #6

I was just watching the... Some kids.

They're about to come down the slide.

I wanted to watch

the kids come down safely.

Kids, huh?

Yeah.

So, you wanna watch a b*tch

come down a slide?

Well, I'm gonna show you

how a b*tch come down a slide.

Oh, no...

Excuse me, ma'am?

We have a 300pound weight limit.

I don't weigh no damn 300 pounds.

I weigh 165. How you doing?

That was awesome.

What's that?

It's Rasputia.

I'm gonna show you

how a b*tch go down a slide.

I'm sliding, b*tches!

Mary, Mother of God.

Slow down! Stop! Stop!

How you doing?

Why does she have to go

and get married, Lloyd?

Things were going so well.

There it is.

Hey. Sorry about the concussion.

It's okay.

And the whiplash.

It's okay.

And the bruised stomach.

And the blood clot.

Nothing.

You know damn well that's your baby.

You know it's yours. Got the same chin.

The same lip.

That baby got the same head as you

and the same eye...

Go take the test. Take the test.

You want to hear the test results?

In the case of the little baby...

Well, the test says that is your baby.

How you doing?

Latimore Construction, Norbit speaking.

Hey, Norbit, it's Kate.

Is there any way you can meet me

in town right now?

Yeah, sure.

Great. I'm at McCormick's.

Okay. Fine.

Rasputia, I'm just loaded up

with paperwork up to my ear.

I was wondering, could you run

these permits downtown for me?

Now you tell me

what in the hell I look like,

running some goddamn permits

down to City Hall for your ass.

You do it.

You do it.

Okay.

What's the surprise?

No, I'm not telling you.

Tell me. Hey, no, what are you doing?

Not till the last second.

What? What?

You ready?

Yeah, what is it?

I know you don't think

I'm gonna get on that thing.

I think you're gonna get on that.

Hey, no way. Hey.

Come on! Look where you wanna go.

You're doing great.

You got it? You got it? You got it?

Watch out for the fence!

And the mailbox.

Rasputia, the painters from

the Crestview site got food poisoning.

There's vomit everywhere!

You know damn well

you clean up all the vomit. You do it!

I don't feel safe.

Yeah! You're doing great!

Yeah.

The Portosans at Drummond's

tipped over!

Well, go clean the sh*t up!

Rasputia?

You do it!

I got it!

Go!

I'm getting it! I'm doing it!

You're doing it! Yeah, but slow down!

How?

With the brakes! The brakes!

Oh, no. Are you okay?

Yeah. Actually, that was kind of fun.

Come on.

Okay, help me.

Okay?

Yeah, yeah.

So, I'm going to Giovanni's tonight

to choose the food for the reception.

You wanna come? Help me decide?

What about Deion?

I just don't trust him with food.

You know,

he made dinner for us the other night.

It tasted like cheap takeout.

Well, I'll go.

Good.

Well, I just have to go get my dress,

and then we can meet, say, at 7:00?

Okay, that's great.

Perfect, Norbit.

Okay, see you at 7:00.

Norbit!

All right. Yeah, Norby.

You guys are all pervs.

I love it.

What's wrong?

Are you sure we're not rushing things?

I know we're not. I know we're not.

I couldn't be happier.

Norbit, that's a date.

No, it's not. She just wants someone...

Are you paying for this encounter

this evening?

Of course not!

Then that's a date.

Don't be trying to tell a pimp his game.

Come on, baby.

Thank you.

Carmen, honey!

All right.

Well, who are you getting all fine for?

Hello, Rasputia. Well, that's nice.

Oh, yeah, right.

Why you trying to look all extra today?

Oh, I'm just, you know, being a girl.

My fianc likes it

when I take care of myself.

Look to me like

that fish already in his net.

You look like

you fixing to catch you a new fish.

What? No. God. Don't be silly.

You're married. You're here.

I don't do this for my husband.

Girl, I do this

because I have a reputation to uphold.

Everybody in this town know that

Rasputia Latimore is fine. Ain't I fine?

You fine, girl! You are fine.

Sister!

Everybody knows.

But even a delicate flower like me

need a little water from time to time.

Or a little lye in her kitchen

to help straighten out them petals.

How you doing?

Rasputia.

Helga waiting on you, girl,

to do your bikini wax.

Here I come, girl.

I got to go, girl. Every now and then

I got to mow the lawn.

You just make sure

all that sprucing up is for your fianc.

Helga, here I come, girl.

It's a full moon, too.

Here we go, dear.

I was looking for Norbit's police whistle.

Go fish.

What's up?

Everything on schedule

with the wedding?

I got my own problems, but I'll handle it.

What's this situation

you're talking about?

The liquor license on the orphanage.

It won't roll over

when the property changes hands,

not without one of

these transfer requests upfront.

Yeah, and getting a new license

could take years.

Yeah, we'd be out of business

before we get started.

You think you can get Kate to sign that?

Hell, no. She's planning on

closing the restaurant.

It'd raise too many suspicions.

All right, smartass,

then what we gonna do now?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Norbit.

Where you going, Norbit?

Sit your punk ass down.

Guys, I told Rasputia

the toilet needed to be reinforced

and she said

that I should take care of it,

so I'm gonna go take care of that.

Forget that.

I can't. No, guys,

it's an accident waiting to happen.

I have to deal with it.

I said forget that.

We need you to

get these papers signed tonight.

Oh, no. I can't do it tonight, guys.

There's an accident waiting to happen.

I have to deal with this...

Norbit, if you don't

get these papers signed tonight,

we can't start

the remodel on the orphanage.

That's right, punk ass.

Bullshit. I'm going for mine tonight.

I got things to do!

Norbit, you better find that Kate Thomas

and get her to sign.

Yeah.

Kate Thomas?

You want me to get these papers

to Kate Thomas?

Yeah.

Okay, that's more important.

I'll take care of this for you guys.

I'll get these to Kate Thomas.

That's what I told you to do.

Get your punk ass up.

Okay, I'm gonna go take these to Kate

and take my punk ass to Kate Thomas

right now.

Excuse me, pardon me.

Let me get through here. Thank you.

Excuse me. Going through. Hi.

B*tch ass.

Yes, I am a b*tch ass. Excuse me.

Kate Thomas.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Man, it's time for

a pimpalicious makeover. Let's do this.

All right. But nothing too flashy now.

I wanna be flashy, but not...

Class. I don't want no...

Now, that's pimping.

All right, hair's bigger.

Okay. Well, I guess this is it, guys.

Thanks a lot for all your help.

Thanks for making me fly.

You fly like a flock of birds, baby.

You look good.

Thanks, guys.

Handle this business for us, brother.

I'm gonna handle it. Gonna handle it.

Do the walk, Norbit.

I got you.

Yeah. Norbit!

Wow, Norbit!

I just picked these

on the side of the road,

'cause this is just a casual gettogether.

Sure. And you put the wires

up the stems, too. That's a nice touch.

Norbit!

Hey, Sam.

You dressed to kill, huh?

Katerina, you look beautiful.

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