Norbit Page #7

Yeah, we'd be out of business

before we get started.

You think you can get Kate to sign that?

Hell, no. She's planning on

closing the restaurant.

It'd raise too many suspicions.

All right, smartass,

then what we gonna do now?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Norbit.

Where you going, Norbit?

Sit your punk ass down.

Guys, I told Rasputia

the toilet needed to be reinforced

and she said

that I should take care of it,

so I'm gonna go take care of that.

Forget that.

I can't. No, guys,

it's an accident waiting to happen.

I have to deal with it.

I said forget that.

We need you to

get these papers signed tonight.

Oh, no. I can't do it tonight, guys.

There's an accident waiting to happen.

I have to deal with this...

Norbit, if you don't

get these papers signed tonight,

we can't start

the remodel on the orphanage.

That's right, punk ass.

Bullshit. I'm going for mine tonight.

I got things to do!

Norbit, you better find that Kate Thomas

and get her to sign.

Yeah.

Kate Thomas?

You want me to get these papers

to Kate Thomas?

Yeah.

Okay, that's more important.

I'll take care of this for you guys.

I'll get these to Kate Thomas.

That's what I told you to do.

Get your punk ass up.

Okay, I'm gonna go take these to Kate

and take my punk ass to Kate Thomas

right now.

Excuse me, pardon me.

Let me get through here. Thank you.

Excuse me. Going through. Hi.

B*tch ass.

Yes, I am a b*tch ass. Excuse me.

Kate Thomas.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Man, it's time for

a pimpalicious makeover. Let's do this.

All right. But nothing too flashy now.

I wanna be flashy, but not...

Class. I don't want no...

Now, that's pimping.

All right, hair's bigger.

Okay. Well, I guess this is it, guys.

Thanks a lot for all your help.

Thanks for making me fly.

You fly like a flock of birds, baby.

You look good.

Thanks, guys.

Handle this business for us, brother.

I'm gonna handle it. Gonna handle it.

Do the walk, Norbit.

I got you.

Yeah. Norbit!

Wow, Norbit!

I just picked these

on the side of the road,

'cause this is just a casual gettogether.

Sure. And you put the wires

up the stems, too. That's a nice touch.

Norbit!

Hey, Sam.

You dressed to kill, huh?

Katerina, you look beautiful.

Come sit, please.

I'm making my specialty just for you.

Hey. Did you make my favorite?

What do you think, huh?

I'm gonna take the flowers,

put them into water, okay?

He's a nice man.

Your favorite?

I guess you and Rasputia

come here a lot, huh?

Oh, no. We used to,

but she got banned for life

because Sam had

an allyoucaneat buffet once

and she took it as a personal challenge,

and it got pretty ugly.

I wanna make a toast.

Oh, sure.

To old friends.

To old friends.

We were buddy partners, all right,

Norbit. We were.

I tell you, you know,

sometimes I think

I should've never married Rasputia.

What do you mean, Norbit?

I was just really young, you know,

and she latched on to me

and kind of helped me fit in

and gave me a family, so...

We had nobody, Norbit.

I mean, who can blame us

for wanting to feel safe, you know?

Yeah, safe.

Like you and Deion?

Yeah.

I mean,

it's different with Deion, obviously.

So, what have you got here?

Those are just construction papers,

permits and stuff that you have to sign.

Kate, can I ask you

a personal question?

Sure, what?

Do you love Deion?

Of course. Yeah.

Otherwise,

why would I be marrying him, right?

Right?

Got your pizza.

It is about time.

I'm about to disappear up in here

I'm so hungry.

Norbit out draining a swamp

or something.

Yeah, he's definitely draining a swamp.

He's draining a swamp like he would be.

Why you looking at me like that?

Where's Norbit?

Draining a swamp.

And why are you looking at me like that?

He's out there in the woods,

draining a swamp. I told you before.

I don't know nothing.

I don't know nothing, okay?

He's on a date with that fine skinny girl!

It's pain time here! I ain't having this!

Oh, hell, no. And on top of that

he been messing with my seat again?

Damn it, Norbit!

He got me destroying my sh*t.

This is it.

It's always so beautiful in here.

Peaceful.

Hello, Kate, Norbit.

Hey.

Didn't know anybody was here.

I was getting ready to close up shop.

You know, Kate,

this all happened so fast,

I realized we never had

a chance to rehearse.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

So, come on up here.

Let me at least show you

where you're gonna stand.

Come on.

All right.

Rasputia. You know

you no allowed in here.

The hell with that. Where's Norbit?

I don't see Norbit.

Anybody is a see Norbit?

No.

He hasn't been here.

Then who was eating a turkey ass?

Run! Run! Run!

At which point

you'll give your vows to Deion.

You want to practice those?

Well, I hadn't actually gotten to that

quite yet.

You don't even know

what you're gonna say yet?

Well, what would you say, Norbit?

I don't know.

What would I say?

Norbit!

Don't cha wish your girlfriend

was hot like me

Don't cha wish your girlfriend

was a freak like me

Don't cha

What would I say if I was saying vows?

I guess...

Kate,

I think about you all day long.

And when I'm not near you,

all I think about is being near you.

And when you are near me,

I feel like I'm at peace

with the whole world.

I know that...

I know I'll never have to

ask God for anything

'cause, as long as I have you in my life,

I got everything I ever wanted.

And the only thing

I really wanna do is just

spend the rest of my life making you

as happy as you've made me.

Because I love you, Kate.

I love you.

I don't know. Something like that.

And after the vows you would then...

Okay.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

I'm sorry.

Awkward.

Yeah.

Give me that crowbar.

I got some killing to do.

Damn it!

I'm a Christian. You got me

up in this church cursing, Norbit.

Death do us part, huh? Okay, Norbit.

Look like you done moved up

the goddamn schedule.

I'm cursing again.

Pray, b*tch, pray.

Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

on Earth as it is in heaven.

Kate, please. Kate, please, I'm sorry.

Kate, please, stop and talk to me.

Please, please, Kate.

Talk to me, please.

I can't, Norbit.

I'm just too confused right now.

I'm sorry. It was all my fault.

I never should have kissed you.

No.

I wanted you to.

That's why I'm so confused.

Good night.

She wanted me to.

Where the papers at, Norbit?

Got them for you right here.

I'd hate to be you right now.

Why?

Go on in the house.

Go on in.

Go ahead, fool. What you waiting for?

Get on in.

Hello?

Chocolate drop, I'm home.

Lollipop?

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