Not Cool Page #4

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Perfect!

Awesome!

Marissa wins.

Okay, Tora the explorer,

It's your turn.

Come on, tore,

hit the dance floor.

They just come to me.

Oh, what's wrong,

Angelina Tori?

Scared to lose?

No, no, no,

I just hate dancing.

Hm, you seem

to hate a lot of things.

Yeah, I do.

I hate everything and everyone.

It's kind of my thing.

Oh, well, we don't hate you,

tore.

I'm a little scared of you,

but I don't hate you.

Oh, it's okay.

You know what, fine.

Fine, I will play.

But if I win,

you have to leave.

All right.

But if I win...

you have to kiss me.

I want to play!

Or Tori can play.

Cool move.

Awesome!

Right on.

Hey, we work

pretty well together.

This is how I always pictured

black people playing this game.

We're much stronger

as a team.

We should challenge

Marissa and Gil.

I don't really do teams.

Well, maybe you'll find

that having a partner

To keep you on beat

is a good thing.

I mean, I'm not saying

We should start an official

dance club or anything.

Foot slide!

I'm saying maybe just try it

for one game, you know?

Slap the ground!

What do you think?

Might make you

a better dancer.

You know what?

Maybe I don't want a partner

Who's merely average-Sized,

Somewhat herky-jerky,

And pays nowhere close

to the attention to detail

That one would expect

from an aspiring photographer.

Tori wins.

Congrats.

Guess I got to go now, right?

Aw.

Happy thanksgiving.

Bye.

And you are my radio

Turn you up when I feel low

You are the soundtrack

to all I know

You are the rock

to my roll

What's eating Gilbert grape?

I love that movie.

Oh.

Wow, baby, you're good at that.

Where did you learn?

Did your mama teach you?

Oh, god,

you are the blowj*b queen.

Someone should give you

a crown made out of d*cks,

Made out of wangs.

I'm gonna cum.

Oops-A-Daisy.

Don't want to come

in your mouth.

You're a lady.

Where should I do it?

Ah, idea.

On those tits!

Hey, what you looking at?

The internet.

There's just pictures

Of arctic creatures,

polar bears.

- Polar bears.

- Going extinct.

I see.

Yo, dick-muncher, time to go.

Black Friday's almost over,

And I haven't seen

anybody die yet.

Oh, this...

Homework.

Sex-Ed.

Never mind.

Okay, so this one

is a bit on the pricier side.

But she pinned it

multiple times

To her personal pinterest page,

And I want her to feel

as beautiful as I do right now,

Which is very.

I just want you to realize

how f***ed up this is.

If by "f***ed up"

you mean awesome

And sexually stimulating,

then I agree.

But I need you

to focus right now,

Because I need

your brutal honesty.

Yeah, that's way too slutty.

If you give that to her,

She's gonna think

that you're trying to bang her.

But I am.

Yes, I know.

But the key is

to make her forget that.

Good note.

Hey, Tori.

What the f***?

Hey, crazy, right?

Uh-Huh.

Um, hey, I just want

to say sorry

For coming to your family's

dinner last night.

That was...

I shouldn't have done that.

It was inappropriate.

Yeah, you know what else

is inappropriate?

You stalking

my instagram account

And following me here.

Does this look too, like,

"ooh, I did anal once,

And now it's all I want"?

Scott.

Did Janie send you?

What?

No, why would she?

No reason.

Okay.

So back to you stalking me.

Aw, you thought

I'm stalking you?

No, I was just taking pictures

in the mall,

And I saw you

through the window.

'Cause that doesn't

sound creepy.

I like shooting

all the black Friday craziness.

Usually get

some pretty cool stuff.

I mean, for the most part,

It's just random people

getting tasered.

All right, let me see that.

Dude, this is f***ed up.

Would you send these to me?

Aw.

Oh, I found your fetish.

- It's not a fetish.

- Uh-Huh.

Hey, look close.

You see how that old couple

is sitting perfectly

Right between that trash can

and that stained glass window

And that fountain?

It's like...

It's kind of like beauty

meets its opposite.

You know?

Amidst all the craziness

of black Friday

And everybody's

freaking out around them,

They're safe, you know?

They found their little place

to go and share a kiss.

It's kind of cute, beautiful.

Oh, my god.

I didn't sleep

with the cool guy.

I slept with

the formerly cool guy

Who's actually

a big frickin' dork.

- I'm not a dork.

- Uh-Huh.

- I'm cool.

- Oh.

I'm currently cool.

Oh, okay.

So then, just tell me

One currently cool thing

that you've done

Post-Graduation.

What are you doing later?

I don't know, why?

'Cause we're hanging out.

- Really?

- Mm-Hmm.

All right.

But I am driving,

And I am planning everything.

And you have to do

everything that I say.

All right, deal.

All right.

Now go continue taking

those creepy pictures,

And quit stalking me.

Is this guy stalking you?

I used to wait for her

after school

By the gates with my books,

baby, feeling a fool

I used to walk her home

every night

In the summer or winter,

in the sun or ice

F*** it list.

Okay, what is this,

some kind of bucket list?

Yeah, except

you don't die in it.

I mean, spoiler alert.

Okay, this is

what I'm talking about.

You're like, so regimented.

I mean, everything about you

Has to be, like,

so f***ing perfect,

Or you, like, freak out.

So, what I'm gonna do

Is just loosen you up

a little bit.

I'm not shaving my head.

Okay, one thing at a time.

Seriously, I'm not doing it.

That's what I'm talking about.

You're so regimented.

- Look at it.

- I see it.

Look at the way it flows.

No, yeah, I see it.

Look at how it moves.

You know what, this is

exactly what I'm talking about.

You're so set in your little

perfect Scott hair ways.

Fine, okay, can we just do

something a little easier

To ease me into it?

Yeah, absolutely.

I thought we should

probably start

With number four.

No, I'm not gonna do that.

- Yeah.

- No.

Oh, you certainly are.

No f***ing way.

- No, you're gonna do it.

- No.

Seriously, just poop already.

I'm trying, okay?

I have a sensitive stomach.

Oh, my god.

Turn around.

What?

Turn around.

Seriously?

This is ridiculous.

Plug your ears.

- What are you doing?

- It's gonna be loud.

Ugh.

Scott?

Sh*t!

Abort mission!

Abort mission!

Go, go!

- It's locked.

- Just get in!

Get the f*** in the car!

Ugh, why weren't you

into poop stuff

When we were together?

We have fun,

we have fun

We got the summer nights

under our tongues

Oh, my god.

Don't even.

What...

A**hole.

We have fun,

we have fun

Uh-Uh.

Mm-Hmm.

We have fun,

we have fun

Better late than never,

I guess.

Yeah, it's so true.

Well, it's hard to prepare

for it when it's rape.

Kidding.

No, I'm totally kidding.

Yeah, I definitely,

definitely wanted it.

Mm-Hmm.

Especially because

it wasn't with him.

She's kidding.

No, I'm not.

Well, good luck with the baby.

Oh, thank you, yeah.

We are gonna need it.

You have a nice day, ma'am.

Yeah, bye.

Whoa!

No way.

Oh, come on.

Don't be a p*ssy.

It's permanent.

Yeah.

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