Nothing Like The Holidays Page #4

---

Stop.

Go to your room.

You know what? I'm gonna

do you one better, Ma.

Come on, Sarah. Let's go to the Drake.

I haven't finished eating yet.

Yeah, whatever.

Did you like the tostones?

Delectable.

Nata de coco?

I'd love some.

Look, do you have a

Marriott or a Radisson?

A Motel 8?

Look, I'll take an empty jail

cell... anything you've got.

- Have you gone off your meds?

- Yeah, okay.

Thank you very much.

Let me know if anything opens up.

Piece of sh*t.

Sarah, let me have your Crackberry.

I'm gonna call hotels. com,

see if they've got anything.

I know you're freaked out

about this whole divorce thing,

but don't you think we should

stay here and be supportive?

Supportive of them throwing 36 years

of their marriage down the toilet?

Are you kidding? Give me that.

Do you want to make things

worse for your mother?

Her husband cheated on her.

And this is coming from the

woman who reserved two rows

for her parents' exes at our

wedding. Just give me that.

- No.

- Come on. Give it to me now.

- No.

- Sarah, I'm gonna take it from you.

- We're staying here.

- No, we're not staying.

You've been bugging me for

months to stay in a hotel.

- Shh!

- We're not gonna stay...

- Shh! Do you want them to hear you?

- What?

Are you afraid they might find

out you think this place...

stinks of fried pork

and chuleta, tocineta, pueta?

Well, somebody's been

a naughty little girl.

You've been emailing back and

forth with this Barry Kravitz, huh?

Didn't you tell me you turned

his job offer down months ago

because of the traveling and

the crazy hours, the pressure?

They came back. They sweetened the deal.

And he offered to back

Brian Donaldson and I

in our own hedge fund.

We would be managing $300

million just to start.

- $300 mi...

- Yeah.

And use of the private

jet too. Look at that.

Pretty sweet. Congratulations.

That's great.

When were you planning

to break it to me gently?

I just...

I just needed a little

time to think it over alone.

Requesting a bunk, Lance Corporal.

You're gonna sleep in here?

Your mother threw me out of the bedroom.

And you act surprised.

Mijo, life is full of surprises.

- Oh.

- Everybody down at the bodega,

they're all dying to talk to you.

Anyway, this gives us

a chance to catch up.

I'm worried about you and Ma.

Yeah? We're more worried about you.

I'm fine.

You know, Jesse,

we know you've been through a lot.

Your mother and me, we

rented "Coming Home. "

I'm surprised you didn't

rent "Taxi Driver. "

Yeah, we rented that too.

It's not good to keep

things bottled up inside.

You've seen some stuff...

some really bad stuff.

It's a war, Pop.

And you did your very best.

You did.

It should've been me...

not Lenny.

Beating yourself up isn't

going to bring him back, mijo.

And if Lenny was here right now,

he'd tell you he'd want you to move on.

His folks...

I can't imagine they're

having too many laughs now.

No.

You call them? It might help.

You know, Dad,

it's getting late.

Yeah, okay.

Jesus, Mo, you scared me.

What are you doing up here?

I'm just trying to be alone, okay?

I've got tequila.

- All right, you can stay.

- I know.

- What a night.

- What, is this hell?

- Are we in hell or what?

- Yeah.

Hm-mmm.

Hm-mmm.

- It's 10 below outside.

- No way. No way.

Mom won't let me smoke

inside. Go crack open a window!

I'm not cracking a window.

I'm not smoking your pollution.

- Fine. Fine.

- How about that? I saved your life.

- Crack that.

- How come I didn't get an invite?

- None needed.

- No jarheads allowed, man.

- Ow!

- Easy!

- Give me that.

- You having a flashback?

Wow.

It's like all I need

is to be smoking a blunt

and listening to Biggie Smalls.

I lost my virginity on that couch.

- Me too!

- Oh, God. Hail the syphilis!

- Oh God, hail you.

- Move move.

Roxanna:
Don't be mad 'cause

you were up here all alone

practicing dance moves

in your underwear.

Stop it. Stop stop.

- Stop it.

- Roxanna:
Please don't do it in those.

Hey, that reminds me

I haven't seen Dad in his

underwear in a long time.

- It is not pretty.

- Is this pretty?

Ma kicked him out of the

room and he's staying with me.

He deserves it.

How come you never told us

about him cheating before?

'Cause, Rox, I didn't see anything.

I caught him with that little Rosa

Salgado, little Pentecostal chick.

Dad just gives me $100.

He says, "Here, don't say nothing. "

And you'd think he'd be

too old for that sh*t now.

Rox, they've got Viagra now.

We're gonna be those kids that have

to shuttle between houses at Christmas.

No, Rox. No we're not.

- No?

- No, because they're gonna sell this house

and they gonna move

into separate apartments.

And we're gonna have to stay in

a hotel when we come into town?

No.

I know Mauricio and

Sarah wouldn't mind that.

- The walls are thin, bro.

- Oh yeah?

- Why don't you mind your business?

- Ma's always talking about

moving to Puerto Rico. She

might actually do it now.

It'd be kind of sweet to

have a place out there.

- Did you just say kinda sweet?

- Yeah.

So you're okay with Pops

moving into a studio apartment

and heating up leftovers?

You're fine with that?

Oh, do you realize this is probably

the last Christmas that

we'll spend together?

Why, Rox? Why is it gonna be the last?

Why don't we do something?

We're gonna let them throw away

just gonna sit and talk about it?

He broke her trust! How can

she forgive him for that?

- What don't you understand?

- Yeah, Ma has every right to leave.

Hey, do you hear yourselves?

You know what you sound like?

You sound like people

who aren't married.

Let me tell you about

marriage, all right?

Sometimes you're in it, you feel like

you don't want the same things anymore

and you start going at each other.

And you go at each other,

but you stick it through.

And at the end of that you

fall in love all over again.

And that's marriage, okay?

So don't tell me that Mom and

Dad, after all these years,

don't got a little bit of love left for

each other, 'cause I'm not buying that.

Preciosos, I made some pastelillos.

Ah. Uh-huh. You're tired.

Why did you have to drag

these boys out of bed?

- Mauricio:
We're fine, Ma.

- Anna:
For 25 years,

I've been begging you to

cut down that ugly tree,

and all of a sudden you're

gonna do it right now?

- Can I help you with that?

- No.

You've still got it, Mamita.

Dirty old man.

Here, how about some hot chocolate?

- Come on.

- Marissa:
Okay, say thank you.

- Thank you.

- Hey, Sarah.

I made some pastelillos.

- Have one.

- No, I'm going for a jog.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to fix

the treadmill in the guest room.

How is she going to get pregnant

with all that bouncing up and down?

Enough, all right? Just leave her alone.

Here here here, eat something.

And what, are you drunk? Still drunk?

- Ma, please.

- I can't believe you spent all night

getting drunk with your brothers.

Mauricio:
She's a bad influence, Ma.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes