Nothing Like The Holidays Page #6

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so Whitey, our squad leader,

said that he would treat

us to a home-cooked meal.

I was on lookout at the window.

Lenny made me switch with him.

I maybe had, like, three bites

and some a**hole launched an

RPG right through the window.

Lenny's...

Lenny's body was blown

back to the table.

And do you know how I felt?

I was happy.

I- I was so happy

to be alive.

I'm so sorry, Jesse.

Yeah.

I was the lucky one.

Yeah.

His poor family.

Have you talked to them?

No.

It wouldn't make a difference.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

He was their only son.

Mauricio:
Ahem.

Edy:
Jesse.

Hey, Father Torres. Good to see you.

Nice to have you home,

son. Any more soy sauce?

Jesse, look. I've taken it upon myself

to bring Father Torres

here to talk to Mom and Dad.

- So just go with it, please. Okay?

- And where's Mom?

Roxanna:
She went out for happy

hour with Cheryl and Gladys.

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

She can go if she wants.

She's a grown woman.

You know she's gonna kill you, right?

Yeah, I'll take my chances. Go sit down.

Okay, everybody, just... please.

Hi, baby.

I'm sorry I embarrassed

you this morning.

It's okay, Mom. I just wanted to

tell you that Father Torres is here.

Ay, Dios mio. Who died?

Nobody died, Ma. Before you

say no... don't say no...

I brought Father Torres here to talk

to you and Dad about the divorce, okay?

- Please, Ma.

- No!

You've got to think this through

before you go through with it.

- Did he tell you to do this?

- No, Dad had nothing to do with it.

- I'm going upstairs.

- Ma, you're not going anywhere.

You're going out there

to talk to Father Torres.

Do you know the mouth on that man?

The whole neighborhood's going to know.

- This is about your family.

- I didn't make any food.

It doesn't matter. Sarah

ordered Chinese food.

- She gave him takeout?

- Yes, Ma.

Go out there. Be brave.

Father Torres, so nice to see you.

Do you, um...

I could fix you some

real food if you'd like.

Don't trouble yourself. I'll be

fine with a couple of these eggrolls

and some more coquito. Your son tells me

that you and Edy are

contemplating divorce.

Oh no no, Father, no.

I am getting a divorce.

See, my husband broke his vows

and sinned against God.

Father, it's Christmas.

How about a little sermon

about Jesus being born so we

can be forgiven for our sins?

I'm not changing my mind.

Now I am sorry, Father,

that my son dragged

you all the way out here

for takeout because

these women can't cook.

It's the least I can do.

No wonder I don't have a grandchild.

That's what you can do for me, Father.

Can I get some more rum for my coquito?

Pray that I will hold

- a grandchild before I'm dead.

- Here we go again.

Maybe there are reasons why they're

holding back on having children.

He'd rather take care of

a hedge fund than a baby.

- You went crying to your mother?

- I didn't go crying.

- It wasn't really crying.

- Can you blame him?

What did you expect?

With all this traveling

and all these hours

with a hedge fund, the only sex

he'll be having is on the phone.

Oh, no no.

He'll be lucky if he gets that.

You know, the only reason

that he wants a baby now

is so that he can try to one-up Jesse

in pleasing you and Edyberto.

- What the hell's she talking about?

- That's not true, Sarah.

- Yes it is.

- You take one psych course at Brandeis

- and you're Sigmund Freud?

- Excuse us, Father.

Anna, Edy, perhaps you

should think about the family.

- We'd be fine.

- No we wouldn't be fine.

You'd still have your

mommy to run home to.

Look, daddy's girl, I know

for a fact I'm not the only one

you call when you're strapped for cash.

She needed money for head shots.

You sent her money behind my back?

- Don't talk to me anymore.

- Do you see?

Do you see the lies that I

have to put up with, Father?

What does Roxanna need

money for a head shot for?

- She's a star.

- Ma, I'm not a star.

Okay? I'm not a star. That's it.

Everybody thinks I live this

glamorous life in Hollywood

when I can barely pay

my rent on a dumpy studio

and the payments on a 1999 Kia.

- What?

- God!

You know what? I just

wish I could have my life

handed to me on a silver

platter like Jesse over here.

- Oh, hell yeah.

- Yeah.

The prodigal son returns and the

rest of us just get pushed to the side

'cause the little prince is here.

Everything for the little prince.

- Is that what you think?

- Yeah, that's what I think, Jesse.

Why don't one of you come home

and take care of the bodega?

Can we all just calm down?

Because you're off living

your own lives, right?

What about my life?

I try to get out and do I

end up in New York or LA?

No, I end up in Iraq.

And what do I got to show for it?

And you think I can just

come home and run the bodega?

- Bodegas are good businesses.

- I'm not gonna run the bodega!

And that's the voice of

God, ladies and gentlemen.

- Maybe we should say a prayer.

- Shut up!

So what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna go back to Iraq.

I'm gonna sign up for another tour.

- Mijo, that's not gonna change anything.

- Maybe.

But at least there I feel

like I have some purpose.

- Jesse.

- No.

No no no no.

I just wish we hadn't let him

sign up in the first place.

There are a lot of things

I wish I hadn't done.

Well, you can't take

them back now, can you?

What's done is done.

Where's Mauricio?

Look, I'm sorry about what I said.

I do want to have a baby.

I just don't understand why

it has to be this second,

when I've got this huge opportunity.

I'm not stupid. I understand

that I can't have it all.

That at 36, my fertility

is going into a freefall

and that I may have to use the eggs

of some attractive Ivy League student

who wants to get ahead on

paying off their student loans.

Look, I'd be happy to adopt.

But Mauricio being a Latin

doesn't feel the same way.

I promise we will have children.

It may not be this second,

but we will someday, okay?

That doesn't make you feel any better?

Jesse's going to sign up

for another tour in Iraq.

I'm so sorry.

Mauricio and the kids

went down to Julio's Bar.

You want me to drive you down there?

This music is beautiful.

Anna and I, we danced the

first time we met to this song.

Mauricio was conceived to this song.

Okay, I don't think I

needed to hear all that.

In the glove compartment,

there's medicine.

- Which one?

- The green cap.

Here.

Don't tell anyone, Sarah.

Please.

Does Anna know?

I just want to enjoy

Christmas with my family.

Not that they make it so easy.

I love you guys so much.

- I love you too, Sarah.

- I do.

- We love you too, baby. It's okay.

- Let's dance.

- No, I don't want to...

- Get a room.

Come on. Come on.

All right. I don't need to be here.

I think he slipped her a hit of E.

- Think he wants a kid that bad?

- Yeah.

All you got to do is look at a

Puerto Rican girl to get her pregnant.

- Shut up.

- Come on, come on.

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