Office Uprising Page #6

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- Everybody else was doing it.

- Okay,

you can push Samatha, so Lentworth and I

can commit some acts of violence.

That sounds good. Here, take these.

You know, I'm not really that comfy

with the whole spearing part.

And now I'm holding spears.

Sam:
You have to cut me loose, Des.

And if I go full Zolt

and I don't come back,

kill me.

I'm serious.

But you have to cut me loose.

We need all the help that we can get.

Don't listen to her. She's a crazy witch.

She can't be trusted.

I'm serious about the

"kill me" part, okay.

Serious.

Deal?

Deal.

(shouting, growling)

You think you're a tough guy?

I'm Ammotech, you tool bag!

Just try me, you tough guy.

I'll show you how tough.

You ain't even fighting

in the same weight class.

(continues shouting, indistinct)

Mo:
Uh, I'm gonna turn

around. Anyone else?

Hey!

Hi, fellas.

I know it looks like we're

rolling up on you for a fight,

but it's really not the case.

The opposite, in fact.

All we want to do is just go through you

to that door over there.

- Right, guys?

- Sam:
Yeah.

Mo:
Yeah.

So, everyone's cool?

Yeah?

Kill them all!

(all shouting)

(shouting)

Help me!

(shouting)

Any violence is purely coincidental

and has nothing to do with me!

(grunts)

(groans)

Try again, Baldy! USA!

- (grunts)

- Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t!

(shouting)

Please stop chasing me!

(screams)

I did not do that. That was not my fault!

(screams) Please stop impaling yourselves!

(grunts)

- (gagging)

- I hope you're not allergic!

(both grunting)

(screams)

- Did you drink any Zolt?

- What? No!

We gotta get out of here.

Whatever you do, don't drink...

- (gasping)

- (flesh squelches)

Okay. That was me.

I'm 100 percent sure I just did that.

- He, uh...

- I just killed someone.

But I saved you. I saved you, right?

Let's never talk about this to anyone.

Okay. F...

(groans) I don't feel good.

Desmond:
Sam.

Sam.

We're gonna get you help, okay.

Okay, almost there. Come on.

(both grunting)

- (muted growls)

- (electricity crackles)

(creaking)

We good?

Okay. Come on, let's go.

Mo:
My back hurts.

(country music playing)

(monitor beeping)

Um... sir?

You might want to come take a look at this.

What you got?

F*** me.

- (buzzing)

- Sorry, folks! No room at the inn.

You got three seconds

to step away from that door.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait,

wait, wait. We're not like

those other crazy people. We're normal.

(vomits)

Oh!

(Sam coughing, retching)

Uh, she does that sometimes.

- It's totally not a big deal.

- (spits)

I have this rule about

not opening the door

for people who are armed

and covered in blood.

And right now, y'all look like

the Four Used Tampons of the Apocalypse!

(all laughing)

- (buzzing)

- My building!

My rules!

He's not gonna let us in.

(wheels squeaking)

Uh... hi.

Sh*t.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Gantt:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- (all shouting)

Everybody calm down! Goddammit!

This is a weapons manufacturing firm!

Violence has no place in here!

You. The hell do you want?

We want to know what's in this Zolt sh*t!

We want to know now!

Oh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Looks like you could use a drink.

I mean scotch!

For chrissake, stop looking

at me like I'm a monster!

I'll take a water, no ice.

Water, no ice. Okay. Who's next?

Zolt was designed for soldiers.

Makes them alert, focused,

productive.

But this first batch...

(clears throat)

...well, sh*t went sideways.

So what's it doing in our company?

Well, the best I can gather is

the scientist under Dr. Frohm

became disgruntled, for

reasons unknown to me.

And as a parting "f*** you" to the company

distributed the bad Zolt to the employees

and, uh, sh*t, here we are.

I'll deny all this, by the way, if deposed.

So what's the plan?

We're safe in here.

Grab a drink. Settle in.

Let the, uh, infected

employees punch themselves out,

and then... (whistles)

...bring in the hazmat!

Punch themselves out? They're

ripping each other's faces off!

I don't like it any

more than you do, son.

See, this woman here, she's really,

really, really important to me.

And whatever's in the stuff is

destroying her piece by piece,

and I've got to find a way to stop it!

- Such as?

- Such as,

I don't know, an antidote?

Why would we make an antidote?

You don't make a product and

then plan on it being recalled.

Did we do that with land mines?

Cluster bombs? Irradiated ammo?

Hell, no. We just make the stuff.

You start thinking about

what happens afterwards,

next thing you know, you're

living in San Francisco,

singing "If I Had a Hammer,"

running a goddamn daisy farm!

- I'm not f***ing around, old man.

- Whoa!

Whoa, whoa.

Well, that's very touching son,

but you may want to drop your hands.

This thumbprint is the only way

that safety seal gets lifted.

And since y'all are relying on me

to get you out of this mess,

I suggest you start

acting like a team player.

There we go.

You want to talk to the

man that made the stuff?

That's Dr. Frohm.

But good luck getting down

to his office right now.

(beeping)

Oh, Christ!

Why is the f***ing regional manager here?

Mother...

- (beeping continues)

- Sh*t.

- (buzzing)

- What the hell do you want, buddy boy?

(exhales deeply) Hello, Franklin.

My team and I are looking to

do some aggressive expansion,

so I'm going to need you

to rescind the safety seal

- around the building.

- (laughs)

- (buzzing)

- Rescind the seal.

Only thing I'm rescinding

is the part of your contract

where it says I can't take out my dick

and whip you with it

like a stagecoach driver.

Yes, I thought you might say that.

I also thought you might like to

keep the thumb on your left hand

as well as your worthless f***ing life,

so I'm giving you ten seconds to comply.

- (buzzing)

- Well, good luck getting in here, pal.

(all growling)

Gantt:
My doors are

two-inch thick titanium

steel-tempered alloy

with retinal scanners

and a voice-print security ID system

designed by the top engineers in Sweden!

Motherf***er.

Nusbaum:
And what about the walls?

- (buzzing)

- Say again?

You know... the walls?

Are they two-inch thick

titanium made in Sweden?

Or, as I recall from the purchase orders,

made by an underpaid subcontractor

who skimped on building materials

so he could make a few bucks.

See you in a few minutes... buddy boy.

What the f*** was that?

Get your ass out there.

(growling)

Sh*t, y'all look in here.

I got shells everywhere.

Just... gotta get the goddamn keys.

Come on, Sam.

F***! Just f***!

- (thuds)

- Stay put, okay.

All right, here we go. Here we go.

(screams)

Sh*t.

Come on, come on.

Come on.

(grunts)

Hey, Mo, can you give me a hand?

I don't know who I am anymore.

Hey, Mo, don't do this. We need you.

- I wall

- butted an old lady.

Who was biting you.

I sprayed cleaning

liquid into a man's eyes.

Who was attacking us.

I split a guy's neck

open with an axe. Oh, sh*t.

I thought we agreed we

weren't gonna talk about that.

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