Old Dogs Page #5

- Oh, no!

That's not good. Get the car ready.

Little collateral damage,

but we're back on track with the deal.

Now it's all about the golf game.

How's your back?

- Tight.

- Untighten it.

Because Nishamura uses golf

as a metaphor for life.

So if you mess that up,

it's sayonara, Nishamura.

- One of my little magic pills.

- My housekeeper happens to

arrange them in an organized

circular fashion, like so.

- Pardon-moi.

- Yes.

That's amazing.

When did we become our fathers?

Man, I'd like to see Troop Leader Barry

deal with the side effects

of even one of these puppies.

Look at this. For my aging prostate.

- Right.

- Side effects include

swollen tongue, dry mouth

and pus-filled canker sores.

- Come on.

- This is a joint anti-inflammatory.

Maximum dosage may cause bouts

of uncontrollable appetite.

That's not so bad. The munchies.

I could deal with that.

Look at this one. High blood pressure.

"Watch out for sudden loss

of depth perception."

This tiny pill lowers

your bad cholesterol.

But the first time I took it,

partial facial paralysis.

- Come on.

- I froze up like a circus clown.

- I was, like, "Ha."

- You're kidding.

Yeah, like...

- Threw my back out.

- Man...

- How much longer we got?

- One week, four days, nine hours.

- Mmm... Good Lord.

- God help us all.

Hey, Dad, I'm in

desperate need of a King Fontana.

- You want to play?

- My doctor says that

I can't get down on the floor,

even crouch, on a golf day.

It seems I have a genetic

predisposition to knee problems.

That means you have it, too.

So you have to be very careful.

Nick, I told you not to use epoxy.

It's going to leave a

permanent stain and an odor.

Why can't you ever

tell me I did a good job?

All right, maestro, how do I do this?

Um, OK... You want to go

quarter turn clockwise,

grab the lever, then use the

counter lever to spin 180 degrees...

Why are you

charging that in here?

I keep getting in Dad's way.

He can't do any business in here, right?

Release like that, and voil.

Check if they

have kids' toothpaste.

That old people stuff burns my...

- Should we tell?

- I think I remember where they go.

We'll put this one in...

- This one in here.

- Put them in here.

Ooh... Mmm.

What am I doing? They're guys.

OK, guys, let's go!

Are you guys still hungry?

- We just ate.

- So did you.

I know, but I'm starved.

That's weird. Hmm.

Do you have candy bars on you?

Don't lie to me.

- What's wrong with him?

- I don't know.

- Hey!

- Hey! You made it.

- We made it. Yeah.

- Can we go play?

Go ahead. There's games

over there. Check it out.

Catch you later.

- Oh!

- Wow. You got a lot of friends.

Oh, well, they're not

actually all my friends.

It's a bereavement group I belong to.

- Bereavement?

- Yeah.

My grandma passed away six months ago.

- I'm sorry.

- Everyone here is dealing with loss.

And then on the weekends

we have a potluck.

Potluck? Where?

Mr. Nishamura. It's an honor.

- Nice to meet you.

- You, too.

Oh.

- My son, Riku.

- Riku.

- Yeah, hey. Hey. Hey...

- Hey. Hey. Hey.

Oh!

Thank you.

Tongue is swollen.

We are dedicating lunch today

to our brave Justine,

who passed away just two days ago.

Voicemail. No! Charlie, it's me.

I think we switch peers.

I love cupcakes!

She left us a gift of one of her

world-famous rhubarb pies,

that she baked through her pain

of the last few hours of her life.

- Good mercy!

- No talk. Nishamura. Call me.

Are you ready?

That's Justine's rhubarb pie!

Where is she?

I want to give Justine a big hug.

- She's dead.

- My condolences.

She's dead!

She's dead! She's dead!

Give me it! Dead! She's dead!

That's a close second.

Ooh... Ah!

- Is my face twitching?

- You look great.

You look... great.

Charlie? Are you OK?

I am so sorry about

that whole pie thing.

It must be my blood sugar or something.

It's OK. I think I calmed them down.

Come on. We're having circle time.

- Circle time?

- It's when the whole group

gathers and shares their grief.

Oh... Guys, I'll be back.

I got to go to circle time.

- Um... Hey, Dan?

- Hmm?

How are you doing? I recently put down

$3,000 on an authentic Japanese kimono.

I just want to make sure it goes OK.

Aah... Aah...

Dan-san, would you like to use my club?

Is that a "yes"?

- Why is he ignoring my father?

- No, he's just really intense.

He excludes all but the game.

A focus you could learn, my son.

- Ooh...

- I knew it. Oh, gosh.

Breathe. Just breathe through it.

Walk it off. Walk it off.

We're good. We're good.

Just take a shot.

It just passes, and then...

And then it comes back.

After nine months of excruciating pain,

- the cancer had spread.

- We're all here for you.

- Do you think this is funny?

- He thinks it's funny.

Everybody grieves in their own way.

- That's true.

- If I don't laugh, I'll cry.

The golf gods look favorably upon you.

This is a very good omen.

That was some delicious pie.

Dan, have you

seen the Nishamura file?

Hey Dad, maybe tomorrow you can

teach me how to ride a two-wheel.

I got a lot on my mind right now.

I'm trying to focus,

finish this business deal.

Come on, Dad. You're not even trying.

I'm struggling, OK? That's like trying,

it just... without succeeding.

Oh, come on.

He unplugged the fax machine.

Two open plugs and he has

to unplug the fax machine

- to plug in his little gaming system.

- Big deal. Come on.

You can't run a business

if you can't get faxes on time.

This is the reason

I didn't want to have kids.

I wasn't talking about you, Zach.

Hey, Zach.

Hey, Zach. Zach...

Zachary!

I defaced a venerated monument,

literally. Burned down a campground.

My son, for all intents and

purposes, is giving up on me.

I'm failing them everywhere I look.

Emily, one minute she

wants me to be a superhero,

- the next minute a lion, then a king.

- Then be a king, you idiot!

Be a superhero, be a lion,

be whatever she wants.

Don't you get it? She just

wants someone to protect her.

- That's it?

- Yes.

You have to be on their level.

Be like them.

You know what my dad gave me

for my fifth birthday?

- What?

- A calculator.

I don't know what it is about me

that sees you in a crisis and then

comes galloping to your rescue.

But I guess I am who I am, aren't I?

You need help connecting

with these kids?

I'm going to find you help.

Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

- Whoo!

- Rocked it, baby.

Ladies, beautiful as always.

- Jimmy Mac!

- Charlie!

- Yeah, brother!

- What's up? Charlie, look at you!

- Meet my friend, Dan.

- Hey.

Tell me you felt it.

Did you feel it, man?

- Was it electrifying?

- Electrifying.

Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.

Like chocolate milk coming

through the nose, baby! Yeah!

Two shows tomorrow, everybody.

So what's going on?

- I was gonna ask you a favor.

- What you need?

Remember at Wade's party

you were talking about

a human puppeteer, this mechanism?

You got that done?

When I was talking to you in confidence?

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