One, Two, Many Page #4

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l want more

than a little muff

in the morning.

laughs

You want another

steak to go?

Uh, no,

that's okay.

So have yo everbeen

with a woman?

Oh.

Oh, Lordy!

Cold l have

the check, please?

Thank you.

That would be great.

l have neverbeen.

But...you know,

l've fantasized about it.

And when l was

in ninth grade,

l used to kiss

my best girlfriend.

l mean, we were preparing

forwhen guys would kiss us.

giggles

Oh, my God.

With tongue?

No, with elbow.

Wow .

So l take it

that might be

something you'd be

interested in?

Well...l don't know.

l mean...

l guess l think

if two people

love each other,

then they shouldn't

stop themselves

from being happy.

And, ifl knew

the guy loved me,

and l was numberone

with him...

then, yeah, l guess

l would be okay with that.

Oh, my God, you are

the perfect woman.

l know.

laughing

How's your eye?

Eye?

Uh-huh.

Oh, the eye.

Uh-huh.

l feel like a moron

with this on my face.

You look a little

like a moron.

Do you want some?

Here you go

No!

giggling

So yourparents

ever come see the show?

My dad did.

My mom...

Ugh, forget about it.

l don't even know

where she is, so ..

What is she,

a flight attendant?

No, a drug addict.

Aw,jeez, l'm sorry.

Yeah, you know.

She was never really around

when l was growing up.

My dad divorced her

when we were fiive,

raised us on his own.

But que sera sera.

Whateverwill be

will be

Okay, yo promised.

l'm sorry.

This is me.

Well, l had a great time.

Yeah, me, too.

l'm sorry about youreye.

Aw, that's all right.

Well... this is

where l decide

if l should

kiss yo ornot.

Wold yo like to kiss me?

Wold l like to

l would love to

The question is,

would you like to kiss me?

l guess you're just

going to have to find out.

Oh, God.

All right.

Mm...

You think maybe

this is where l should

ask foryor phone number?

laughs

When you think you're

all alone in the world

no audible dialogue

When you think you've

neverever been heard

Probably right,

it's probably true

'Cause nobody cares

As much as you do

When you wake me

in the middle ofthe night

l can't always reply,

but l'll try

Some dreams

are just foryou

Not even l can care

as much as you'd like me to

'Cause nobody cares

As much as you do

no audible dialogue

When l have

forgotten my name

You call it out

and there l am again

moaning

l'm ready.

All right,

hold on a second.

l'll hurry. oh!

No, no!

No, notforthat.

Oh, God.

moaning

l meant...to be

with otherwomen.

What? Really?

Yeah. Well, l mean,

l knowit's going to

make you happy and...

l think we should

talk about it.

l don't wantto do

anything that you'd

be uncomfortable doing.

No, it's not that.

l'm good with doing it.

And you don't mind me

participating in it?

No, notatall.

giggles

All right, great.

Well, l have

a plan of attack--

Okay, but...

there are going

to be some rules.

Rules?

Rule number one:

we can't be with somebody

that we already know.

No problem.

Rule numbertwo:

we can't be with

anybody at our place,

because l don'twant

these women to know

where we live.

Okay.

Rule numberthree:

l understand yo 're going

to want to tell yourfriends,

but only one friend

and that's it.

Why?

Because l don't want,

like, my personal life

hitting the gossip pages

on the show.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

l might have to draw

the line there.

What good is this sh*t

if l can't brag about it?

Okay, then.

Forget about it.

No, no, all right.

Just kidding,just kidding.

But psychologists aren't

considered friends, right?

What? No.

Yeah, fine, fine.

Great. Easy enogh.

And lastly,

rule numberfor:

whoeverwe have sex with

we can never

be with them again.

You can never,

and l mean ever,

see thatwoman again,

be it socially,

business, whatever.

Why?

Because l don't want

to have a relationship

with these people.

That would be weird.

ditzy accent

lt wold ruin

the whole thing.

Okay, l guess

l could do that.

l betyou can.

laughs

All right,

where do we find her?

Oh, l got a plan.

l have a friend

at Make a wish.

laughing

Oh, God.

no audible dialogue

Jen, come on!

Jen, come on!

Jen! Come on!

Jen, l love you.

Come on , that girl

was ugly nextto you.

You're so much

hotterthan her.

Please. God , l don 't think

this is going to work.

Can't we just

do each other?

Jen, l was just going to do it

like l thoght yo would, too.

Come on , Jen, yo 're

the only one for me.

l love you.

Come on , this is just

about sex, right?

Ugh. All right, yes.

l'm sorry.

lt's just

the first time, okay?

lt's going to take

a little getting used to.

Allthe guys in there,

staring?

Can't we just use

a prostitute?

That way, it wold just be

the three of us at least.

You got it.

Thomas

l think l'm in love.

lt was wonderful!

l'm in love!

l can't believe it!

Well, Thomas, that's great.

She's having a hard time

getting into being with

the otherwomen thing.

l mean,

she wants to and all.

We just gotta fiind

the right situation.

Well, yo do realize

that you're asking a lot.

Well, yeah.

And you knowshe loves yo .

Yeah.

See, Thomas,

that's where l think

we're having

ourlittle problem.

What?

Thomas, you don 't really

think she loves you.

Derek, l know

she loves me.

Thomas, you never

felt loved by yourfamily,

so how can yo expect

to feel loved now?

ln fact, you are so scared

of not being loved,

you push people away

before they have

a chance to hurt you.

l mean, Kelly loved you,

but yo didn't think so.

And now Jennifer loves you.

ln fact, she's willing to have

sex with otherwomen foryou.

Thomas, you have got

to realize that yourfamily

through the eyes of you

as a kid is no more.

Yeah.

Stop hearing allthose

negative things

yourfamily said to you

and realize that

when you were a kid

you digested the horrible,

negative thoghts,

and a part of you

has made them

yourown thoghts.

Basically, Thomas,

just realize that Jennifer

is not yorsiblings

oryorfather.

Thomas.

Thomas!

Oh!

clock ticking

Time's up.

ding

Wonder Burger!

different inflections

Wonder Burger. wonderBurger.

Wonder Burger.

Hey, Ern, you get

these prostitutes.

Where do you getthem from ?

All right!

l see Project Three-way

is back up and running.

Dude, what caliber

of slut do you want?

l don't know , someone hot.

Notany sleazy coke whore

oranything.

l knowwhatyou want, man.

You want the Park Avenue

variety, right?

Dude.

Whoa . Howmuch?

whispering

$700 a night?

Are yo kidding?

changing inflections

l love you, too, honey!

l love you, too, honey!

What, you want

the best, don't you?

You don't wantto wind up

with the sluts thatl bang

when l'm out of cash, do yo ?

No. No, that's all right.

The last one had

more chest hairthan me.

Think her name was Loie.

Thomas Burns, yo 're next.

Oh.

All right,

see you later, Ern.

l was here first.

Hi.

Hi.

door closes

Hi, guys.

Thomas, this is Miranda

and this is Benjamin.

Benjamin.

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