One by Two Page #5

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Hell on Fire!

Every week they eliminate

the best dancers.

These two were so good!

I don't want to see this show.

Change the channel. Rubbish show.

There you have it.

Bunty and Samara

- Amazing dancers but

who knows which way

the audience will lean.

Give it up for one last

time for Bunty and Samara

Yes!

Wake up! Wake up!

Oh...mom!

You know it's evening, right?

Opening the curtains won't

exactly let morning light in.

You been holed up in here for a week.

There's no need to

wallow in self pity.

C'mon I want you to wake up and

get ready and come out in 5 minutes.

Mom?

Mom?

Surprise!

What's going on?

I told you she'd be surprised!

Come On!

What's this?

A leg warmer?

Silly, it's my tutu...

From when I was five.

Did you stick it in

the paper shredder?

How fat were you?

Shaila...

Hmm...

It's all over.

What? Jello shots?

No worries! We drank enough!

No...my dream!

I'm never going

to be a famous dancer.

I'm going to be

a nobody all my life

Nobody...nothing...

Nobody...nothing...

So dramatic,

so much overacting.

C'mon get up!

Get up and go at it again.

You can't give up!

I can't.

Why? You fractured your arms and legs?

No, but my hair is caught in

the cactus and I can't get it free.

Uhhuh...get it out! I'm so tired!

One drink and he thought

she was a mighty fine thing

One drink and he thought

she was a mighty fine thing

Two and three he was down

on one knee A couple more,

for her he was ready

to fight a war

For the sake of love

he should never sober up

And find himself in bed

next to the crypt keeper's mum.

Bravo! Bravo

That was ACP Dhawan,

Our resident comedien.

And up last is Inspector Shetty

whose poem is titled "That Dark,

Lonely night."

And everyone, before you leave,

Don't forget to sample

tonight's Chinese buffet

brought to you courtesy

of Shehnaz caterers.

Hello!

Good evening! Good tidings!

Just like a lonely moonless night...

Uncle, you have to stop this now.

Hey you product of a bored night,

I've just gotten started.

I'm starving!

I'm not talking about the food.

I'm talking about your

shallow and empty poetry.

Listen to Inspector Shetty.

That's real poetry.

"Are you high')

- High? '

Let me check your pupils.

Uncle! Chilli sauce in my eye!

No, you're not high.

You're just an idiot.

Why is my poetry shallow?

Because I don't run for cover

every time I fire my own gun

like that Shetty over there.

Death comes closer and closer...

My poetry is entertaining.

Everyone enjoys it.

I have no intention

of walking around

like I have the world's

problems on my shoulders.

Life's too short.

And anyway, who made you The Bard

That you're critiquing my poetry!

You haven't been able to write squat

since that Radhika

drove you into the ground.

Tell me?

You know, you're right.

I'll get her back

and then I'll write.

I'll write the best song ever!

You're an idiot.

Hey Salgaonkar,

my nephew's an idiot.

- Let him be.

- I'm not an idiot.

Ok, but listen carefully...

I've passed the police academy,

shot the faces off

of seven gangsters

and last night I showed

a drug dealer what real pain is.

What have you done in your life?

I can't exactly answer

that question now

But I will...soon...

And listen,

if that drug dealer

turns out to be yours -

first I'll string him up,

then I'll hang you upside down.

Don't worry uncle!

I don't buy my stuff...

' grow it!

Grows it!

Radhika!

Radhika!

Amit?

What the hell are you doing here?

Have you gone crazy?

I love you.

We broke up two months ago.

Have you forgotten? It's over!

Go home.

- No.

- No?

So you plan on staying

out here all night?

Yes.

You toked up tonight?

Are you high?

Why is everyone asking me

that question?

Because you're acting crazy.

I am...crazy for you.

Good for you!

Listen, it's late at night.

You can't do this.

I have neighbours!

Amit, Stop it! Stop it!

I can't listen

to this crap anymore.

Amit, I can't be with you.

We can never be together.

You know why?

Because you're boring!

You're so boring!

You have a boring job,

You have a boring personality.

A boring sense of style.

You write boring songs.

Even your name is boring -

Amit Sharma!

I mean, c'mon!

What are you saying baby?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

What wrong with you!

You're an embarrassment

to yourself.

Do you know in

the last two years,

how many times

I almost died of boredom?

Do you know?

And this Manchow Soup fetish!

What is a Manchow soup, Amit?

Do me a favour

- Go to a restaurant,

order a Manchow soup.

Go One by Two.

Drink one bowl

And drown yourself in the other.

Really? You really want to do this?

I'm standing here with my guitar,

opening myself up to you

And you're just insulting me?

I can't deal with this. Really!

You know what,

Mihir was right.

I deserve better.

Go, go away

- I don't care.

But you please stay.

This is more entertaining

than TV!

- W h at?

- W h at?

- W h at?

- W h at?

- W h at?

- W h at?

- W h at?

- W h at?

Hello?

Hello, Samara?

Yeah?

It's Ramesh Mahtani

Oh, Hi...Hello...Good morning.

Good morning. It's been a while.

Yeah...

I'm coming to Mumbai for some work.

Was wondering if you'd

be free for dinner tonight?

Yeah!

But how did he know? I mean...how?

I've been emailing him...l mean...

You know, just keeping in touch.

Well, I guess it will be nice

to see him after all these years.

How long has it been?

About ten years.

Ten years...

Mum, you look beautiful!

Wow! And you look so young!

We look like sisters.

Liar!

He's here!

Oh Samara, you look lovely!

- Kalpana

- Hi, Ramesh.

- You look good.

- Thank you.

The house looks nice.

I made a good investment.

Shall we?

I've made reservations for 9 o'clock.

Yes...

- I'll just get my bag.

- Kalpana, I...

Yes?

I only came to take

Samara for dinner...

Sorry, Kalpana...

No, no...of course. I understand.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

You two have a lovely time.

- Shall we?

- Uhuh

Bye mum.

Bye...

I can't believe you remember that.

I came to one of your ballet recitals.

When I was fourteen!

You know, you shouldn't have gotten

eliminated from that TV show.

I thought you were the

best dancer on the show.

You saw the show?

Of course. You told me about it.

So I had to see it.

So what are your plans now?

Haven't really decided anything.

I quit my dance company

And I don't want to go back.

Well, then you shouldn't.

I'm actually surprised you're

trying to be a dancer here.

Why aren't you in London?

You're a British citizen.

Why are you here?

Mum is here.

Ah, I see.

So, how is Kalpana doing?

She's good.

And that problem of hers?

She misses you.

I miss you.

Samara, Kalpana and I,

that's the past.

You know what the situation was.

Look, what happened

between Kalpana and I

has nothing to do with us.

I would like to be

a part of your life.

I would like to make up

for some of those lost years.

I would really, really love that.

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