One by Two Page #6

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And I'm going to make sure that

I help you in getting

where you want to be.

I'm really going to do that, Samara.

Thank you!

But Samara, I don't think

you need to deal

with Kalpana's problems.

You have to take back your own life.

I don't understand.

Sometimes distance is

the most sensible solution.

Perhaps for your mother and you.

And for us.

A new beginning.

You know, one shouldn't

go into the sea.

Why?

Because you'll either step into sh*t

Or get E-coli.

That's deep.

What's deep? The sh*t or the sea?

No, your shiteous enlightenment.

You stand under her window

with your guitar to sing,

get totally bamboozled by her

and then come here to

share your turd philosophy

expecting that we'll applaud you or

give your sympathy?

You're a player.

From the bottom of my heart,

you're the king!

No, you know what you are?

What?

You're a potato.

A big, fat potato.

You let her peel you, slice you,

deep fry you.

Then you got salt sprinkled on your

wounds To be served and eaten up by her.

And she did.

She enjoyed you with ketchup and mayo.

But did you enjoy

the experience of being

chewed up,

swallowed and shat out like this

Look at you.

Your potato-ness

is just mashed up pulp!

Life's just sh*t.

Hmmm...

I'm sh*t. Actually yeah,

you know what - I'm sh*t

I want fries.

Does anyone else want French fries?

Don't worry Amit.

There are plenty

other fish in the sea.

Yeah, all dying and suffocating in the

Sh*t-choked waters.

Seriously Guys, now what?

Eat, Piss, Sh*t and Die, what else!

You look like a witch

from one of those horror films.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

My son is a pervert.

Chintu, say something.

What should I say?

You've made me sit the dark

for the last 2O minutes!

Arrest him.

Where are you going?

To hell.

Want to join me?

What were you doing in my bedroom?

Why? Do I need your permission for

everything?

I'm you mother after all.

Look what I got for you.

Underwear.

Your underwear was in a desperate

state - Loose, covered in holes!

Look at this one.

Stretchable with Lycra.

Those DVD's were

under my mattress.

Why were you putting the

underwear under my mattress?

I was dusting

You were snooping around.

I was not snooping.

Good thing I did.

At least I got to know

about your seedy habits.

My own son! My own son!

Get married.

What?

Good boys from good

families get married.

They don't watch pornography.

Get married to Shishika.

Say Yes!

Shishika! Shitshika!

Say yes or

I'll give you a tight slap.

Ok. Now may I please use

the bathroom?

The Engagement will be next month.

And the wedding in two months.

My word. My law.

Sh*t!

You have no alternative.

Get married.

Hey Bhaskar!

Yes, Sir!

Who eats Sev-Puri for breakfast?

You going to give me

an antacid for dessert now?

This was all there was.

- Scram!

- Ok!

I thought I had a good

thing going with Radhika, Uncle.

I thought she and I loved each other.

But she was just tolerating me.

Maybe this is the best option.

Shishika is here. So am I.

May I should just marry her.

- It's the next logical step, right?

- Right!

If you're hungry,

why bother baking bread?

Eat the flour, drink some water...

And stick yourself in the oven.

Logical!

- Were you trying to insult me?

- What?

Samara and her father

live happily ever after.

That's your fairytale, right?

That he'll look after you?

Make your dreams come true?

Anyway, what are you

doing with your life?

Eat, swim, sleep, gym

Must be nice to have

such an easy life, right!

Maybe you should stop before you

say something you regret.

You shouldn't have gone for

dinner with him alone.

You should have insisted -

Either the two of us or no one.

But no, you just stood there

not saying a word,

stars shining in your eyes.

You were thrilled right?

Just so Pathetic!

You're drunk.

Don't you dare talk to me like that!

But it's the truth.

You promised me you'd stop.

You're drunk now!

You're drunk all the time!

How dare you!

What are you doing?

- Where are the rest?

- What?

Samara! Samara!

Samara!

Samara! Stop it!

What are you doing?

Have you gone crazy!

Stop it! Give it to me.

- Give it to me

- No

Give it to me!

No, this - this has to stop!

Enough!

No!

You have a problem!

What are you trying to say?

That I'm an alcoholic?

I never said that.

All I said was that

you have a problem.

I'm tried of tip-toeing around you,

afraid I'll say something wrong and

you'll go straight for the Whisky bottle!

I'm tired of looking

after you all the time

asking my friends for help.

What?

You talk to your friends about me?

Like I'm some child?

Exactly! You're the mother, not me.

Who is looking after me?

So all this time you

were looking after me?

Why do you think I'm here and not

in London pursuing my dancing career.

Because I don't believe

you can remain sober.

All you do is drink.

Maybe you're here because

you can't make it in London.

Maybe you're not good enough!

And maybe you thought in Mumbai

it would be very easy.

Thank you, Mum.

Thanks for that.

You think it's

easy being a single mom?

Do you know how many

sacrifices I've made for you?

No, I don't.

You don't.

Tell me!

You don't know.

Oh, that you are a rich industrialist's

mistress? - Stop it!

Oh, sorry - by being rich

married industrialist's mistress!

You watch what you're saying, ok!

Watch it.

Or maybe you sacrificed

a lot when you told me

that my father had died in a car crash.

- Enough!

And for 2O years I called

my own dad Uncle Ramesh!

And now that he wants me in his life,

not you

you take it out on me?

You think you can't achieve

the success you deserve because of me?

Then I won't be in your way anymore.

I'll be the mom and you be

the child for once like you wanted.

So just go...

Go?

Yes, Go! Go! get out of my life

Mom?

No, no, no

I can't stand being

the reason for your failure.

I release you of any and

all responsibilities towards me.

Go! You're free! Go!

I don't want to see you again!

Mom?

Don't worry.

Everything will be ok.

Come here!

Thanks!

Madam! Champagne?

Oh my gosh!

You forgot all about me,

didn't you?

No!

Samara!

Go. We'll chat later!

Madam.

Samara! Lovely to see you!

- Meet Simran.

- Hi!

And Promila.

- Hello!

Promila, this is Samara Patel.

She is a really fine

dancer from London.

In fact, she recently

did a TV show Dance Wars!

She was absolutely riveting.

Samara Promila is the chairperson of

the India Arts and Culture Foundation.

- Oh, wow! Pleasure to meet you!

- Likewise

Ramesh since when did you start

watching reality series on TV?

I've known Samara since she was born.

She's a very old family

friend's daughter.

In fact she's part of the family.

I'm sure she's a great role model for

your daughters Nandita and Raksha?

Nandita graduates this year, right?

Yes, in fact she's off

to Harvard next year for her MBA.

Cheers!

I'm going to take full

credit for her intelligent genes

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