Overboard Page #3

- I bet you did.

- Hey, what else you got in here?

- I got some pictures.

We were gonna wire them,

but now you're here...

Yeah! That's her.

Oh, yeah. That's my little cookie-cutter.

- Quite a beauty!

- She's somethin', isn't she?

You got that right!

Doc. We got a winner.

Annie!

Stop!

I don't recognise this man.

Your wife's had an almost

total loss of memory.

I- I can't believe

she doesn't know her own husband!

This missing-link person

is not my husband!

Oh, Annie, please!

- Annie. Annie.

- Right.

That's not right. That's not my name!

This is completely crazy! Honey, sit down.

Everything's gonna be OK.

Now... I am your husband.

My name is Dean Proffitt.

We've been married for 13 years.

Wait!

I admit I have forgotten numerous things.

But I truly, from the depths of my soul,

do not remember you!

Don't you think

there'd be some spark of recognition?

- We don't know.

- Maybe you'll spark to this!

Ugh! I don't believe this!

He could be some stranger off the street!

Well, he seems to like you

and he's a nice guy.

- He's good-lookin'.

- Clean.

- What's my full name?

- Oh, come on!

- What is it?

- Mrs Annie Proffitt!

- What's my maiden name?

- Annie... Goolihy.

Annie Goolihy?

Where in God's name did I grow up?

Dogpatch?

No, no, not there! Over in Goober, Idaho.

But it's a nuclear waste dump now...

- Where did I meet you?

- Hank's Donut World.

Seattle? You hung out there every night

when you were in the Navy!

- You remember...

- I was in the armed forces?

I've still got your postcards

from Okinawa...

Stop. The Navy?

Oh, come on, honey!

You gotta know! You were in the Navy!

No, I don't know! I don't know

any of this and I don't know you!

I need some proof!

Stop staring at me!

Eat your chequers!

Look, if it were up to us, we'd be glad

to give her to you, but she's right.

I'm gonna need some verification.

Oh, listen... I know what you mean.

I understand. Now...

I don't like to talk about this in public,

and I've never told anybody...

She does have a small

strawberry-like birthmark, uh...

It's kinda high up on her... left cheek

and it's unique.

Come to Daddy!

Mister!

What was I doing out in the ocean?

Um... That's something you like to do.

You know, divin' for oysters at night.

Sometimes you get pretty far

from the shore and that undertow...

Oysters? In a cold ocean at night?

That doesn't sound like me.

I just... ate a bug!

Keep your mouth closed!

A lot of things flying around out here.

Welcome home, baby!

I feel faint.

Come on, Buster! Come on, Jackson!

No. This is wrong.

Come along, now.

We've only been here a couple of weeks.

A lot of stuff's in boxes from the move,

so I hardly recognise the place myself.

We moved here... deliberately?

Our last place was a real dump.

Come on.

Our new palace!

Well!

Let me, uh... Let me show you around.

Maybe something'll come back to you.

- Did I just go downhill?

- Look at that. It's comin' back already.

Everything slants down here

toward the bedroom.

Dining room and toilet... Only one.

And here we are at the old,

uh... magic room.

Put a lot of miles on that mattress, huh?

Later.

All right! Here's where we have

breakfast every morning.

Let's go up...

Oh-ho! Here they come!

- Charlie tried to kill my turtle!

- He didn't. It slipped out of his hands!

- He did!

- Hey, hey, guys! Whoa!

Whoa! Hey, look who's home!

- Hi, Mom.

- Hi, Mom.

Gee, Mom! We really missed you.

We're so glad you're back.

They're... They're not mine.

Oh, honey!

I was sure you'd remember them!

Well, I think I'd remember if I had three...

Four, honey! Don't forget little Joe.

Well, that's about it except for...

Hey, she's been in there an hour.

What did you guys get her?

- Dresses.

- The right sizes?

You didn't tell us.

You just said get some dresses.

OK, on the couch.

Come on, guys, don't blow it.

Hey, a dirty magazine!

Baby doll!

This garment cannot possibly

be a part of my wardrobe.

Let's forget for a moment that it's a rag,

but it happens to be 12 sizes too large.

- It's... It's not that bad.

- Not that bad?

Well, come on, honey. You gotta

admit, you've lost a lot of weight.

Huh? You used to be like a balloon!

- Was I also shorter?

- Yes!

Yes, you had a bad back. You walked

kinda hunched over, you know?

I was short and fat?

Look, I'm sure you've got

a million questions.

You've been through hell. So, let's

just take this thing one step at a time.

First, let's meet the boys.

In the middle we've got the twins - Greg

and Charlie. He likes to invent things.

- Twins?

- Yeah. Obviously, they're not identical.

- Or I'd look like a shithead!

- Who asked you, butthole?!

They came out fighting

and they're still at it!

Guys, guys!

Charlie and I get along very well, Mom.

My twin brother and I are best friends.

He's the actor in the family.

Then we got the big guy!

Come on, honey, give it a try.

What's his name?

Roy?

No. Travis. Sweet Trav?

- Now, those are tits!

- My turn!

Hey, what are you...?

I was hopin' you'd recall this guy.

He's your newest, honey.

Hi, Mom! My name's Joe.

- A falsetto child?

- Ah, he thinks he's Pee Wee Herman.

I love Pee Wee Herman. Ha ha!

- Give your ma a kiss.

- No! No! No!

Do they have a problem

with their glands?

Hey, hey, guys, easy! Come on!

It's not us, Dad, it's Roy!

Ah, they're great boys, aren't they?

There's so many of them.

You've always had

your heart set on six, so...

we'll just keep on tryin'.

Dad! They're making me drink blood!

- Come back here!

- No, no, no!

They don't look anything like me!

They do take after your mother. Let's

hope they don't grow up to be lushes, too.

- My mother's a lush?

- Was, honey.

- Cirrhosis.

- She's...?

- What about my father?

- Oh, he's alive and well.

- And due for parole in, what, two years?

- Oh, God! I don't wanna hear any more!

- Look...

- I just wanna remember for myself.

The doctor says the best thing for you

is to get back to your normal routine.

You gotta get your memory back that

way. You gotta do what you normally do.

What is it I normally do?

I prepared and handled raw food?

I hunt it. You cook it.

- You shot a chicken?

- Come on, honey!

Save the jokes! We're starvin' here.

Yeah!

It's strange, but... ooh!

I feel as if I've never done this

before in my life.

Dad, are you and Uncle Billy really

gonna open a miniature golf course?

Nah. We'll just build it

when someone pays for it.

- What's miniature golf?

- For midget brains, like you.

- I was only asking.

- You shut up!

You're gonna make that turtle sick again.

You gotta breathe on it.

Look at me, Dad!

Nothing's happening.

Well, pumpkin, you gotta light the burner.

Fire, fire!

Hey, come here. Sit down.

- Let me see your hand.

- I smell hair!

I'll get the burn ointment.

You'll be all right.

Ouch!

OK, let's see, we...

Way to hustle, guys!

You all right?

Well, now we know they work.

- Pretty good eats!

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