Pain & Gain Page #11

We're not going after them.

We want the red dots, the Gandhi kind.

Those are Japanese.

That's phase two.

We're going multi-continental

on this thing, okay.

This is a huge organization.

ADRIAN:
Sorry, boss.

- Wedding pictures, sorry.

- Ugh, you're killing me.

Here we go.

DANIEL:
Percentage of Indian

telecommunication market.

We own it, we guarantee it.

You're in ground-floor entry.

Boom, skyrocket. Next.

Frankie!

Chopin, stop!

(GROWLING)

Ow!

Come here. Meet my friends.

Show them your tits.

Look, you like them?

Huh?

Mad the doctor put 'm an extra 500 eds.

- Like Jell-O.

- They're new.

(FRANK CHUCKLES)

Impressive. Are you in?

Do they have phone sex in India?

Because she's the best dirty talker

in the business.

Come on, give us a few moans.

-(MOANING)

- Come on, that's it.

Nice.

All right, so what's

the minimum investment?

500,000.

-Isn't he your limo driver?

- And partner.

He is a full-fledged partner.

- Did I meet you at the...

- You did.

- You're the Jesus guy.

- I am.

(CHUCKLES)

What's the maximum investment?

DANIEL:

Some people wouldn't try it again.

Some people would say

quit while you're ahead.

Well, some people are pussies.

Guys like Frank Griga don't quit.

They take it on the chin,

learn from their mistakes,

double down and do it.

Our plan was solid.

Our skills were cutting edge.

We just needed to put ourselves

in a position to succeed.

And that position was Adrian's house.

You guys look so sweet.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

Where's your wife now?

ADRIAN:

She's pulling a double in the ER tonight.

You look nice.

Thanks, man.

She's a big girl, you can't handle it.

- Hey, you know what we need?

- KRISZTINA:
Mmm?

Some music! Right?

So what do you think,

we go in the other room

-and talk a little business?

- Yeah, yeah. Let's do it.

(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)

ADRIAN:
Let's get this party started!

Best song ever!

Show them how you can

shake it up, baby.

- Oh-oh!

- Keep your hands off the new tits, pal.

Okay. The hands will be on the ass!

- I'm coming for you.

- Come on, baby.

Give me that thing.

Oh... Oh... Oh!

So, I ran your numbers

past my accountant

and it looks like

blue skies and clear sailing.

DANIEL:
Fantastic.

I've got the contracts right here.

Oh, God, that is nasty.

For who's ever gonna do the investing.

- I got an eggroll for you, baby.

- Yeah, you do!

(ADRIAN VOCALIZES)

(BOTH SCREECHING)

Frank, I don't think

I'm following you right now.

I want to meet directly with the board.

I mean, no offense, Daniel,

but your skill set

doesn't put my mind at ease.

(ADRIAN AND KRISZTINA

WHOOPING AND LAUGHING)

- I want to see you dance!

- Come on, Paul!

I don't dance,

but I got something

much better than dancing.

Yeah!

Whoo! Come on, baby!

Okay. So what exactly

is my skill set then, Frank?

Please, tell me.

I was being polite. Look, Daniel,

you seem like a really good guy, okay?

We could totally hang out, okay?

We can go chase

some gash, you know?

But, uh, frankly,

I'm not comfortable

with you having a say in my money.

So you stand here in my friend's house

and you tell me you don't trust me?

You know what? You're right.

Maybe this isn't the place

to discuss this.

What? You want to go

over my head to the board?

Hey, look, Daniel,

you know a little something

about the business world,

but not nearly as much as you think.

I mean, some of the things you say

are just comical.

I don't think you're a hard worker.

I'm not saying you're a f***ing moron,

but this is a complicated venture, okay?

It takes professionals. You guys,

you're a bunch of f***ing amateurs.

Motherf***er!

Nobody calls me a f***ing amateur!

Do you know who you're f***ing with?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GLASS BREAKING)

- Come on! Sixty-one!

- Frank?

Sixty-two! Sixty-three!

Come on, push it, baby!

- Where's Frank?

- Sixty-four!

- Where the f*** is Frank?

- Look at this!

KRISZTINAI Frank!

ADRIAN:
Sixty-five! Look, 66!

DANIEL:
No one calls me an amateur!

No one calls me a f***ing amateur!

FRANK:
Jesus Christ.

You could have f***ing killed me!

You f***ing could have

killed me, you c*nt!

You f***ing motherf***er!

(GRUNTS)

No one calls me

a f***ing amateur! No one!

Because I work hard!

I do work f***ing hard!

(FRANK GURGLES)

I f***ing work!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

No! Oh, God. Please, no!

Hey, get out of there. Go, get, get, get!

- I'm going for 80!

- Give me five more, baby!

(LAUGHING) Yeah!

That's a new house record!

KRISZTINAI Frank!

ADRIAN:
Look at this!

Go, push it! F***ing push it!

(BOTH CHEERING)

- Frank?

- Yeah, baby!

(ADRIAN AND PAUL

CONTINUE CHEERING)

(SCREAMING)

- What did you do?

- It was an accident.

Jesus f***ing Christ!

He fell!

The thing just hit him in the head

when he fell down.

- You f***ing cocksucker!

- No, no, please, don't!

(KRISZTINA YELLING)

(SCREAMING) No!

Grab that f***ing crazy b*tch!

- Oh, what the f***... What happened?

- It was an accident!

You were supposed to talk to him!

- Take her, Paul! Take her!

- DANIEL:
I was talking to him!

PAULI (STAMMERING) Is he dead?

You see how those weights

are flush flat on the f***ing floor?

Well, they shouldn't be, because there's

a f***ing head in between them.

PAUL:
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Ow! She's biting me!

- DANIEL:
Keep her f***ing quiet!

Roll her over! Show me her ass!

-(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

- I got upset and...

He called me a f***ing amateur!

(MUMBLING)

And you f***ing hit him with a weight?

DANIEL:
He said

he was going to sign the papers,

then he wouldn't sign, then he got upset

and he said he wanted to see the board,

then I said no,

he couldn't see the board,

"I don't want you to see the board.

"Why'd you call me an amateur?"

Then he got upset,

then he f***ing said something else

and I got upset and he f***ing fell.

I think he fell

or I pushed him or something.

ADRIAN:
Then you killed him!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

What did you do to her?

ADRIAN:
I gave her a horse tranquilizer.

(THUDS)

Oh, sh*t.

She'll be fine.

33, 19, 22. That's

the safe combination, right?

(KRISZTINA MUMBLING)

Is that Yugoslavian?

Okay, I need it in English, okay, baby?

- Seventeen.

- All right, no, no.

33, 19, 22.

Okay, this is now a salvage op! Let's go!

What does that even mean?

DANIEL:
It means

I'm getting that car and stuff in the safe.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh!

This is so bad.

All right, hey. Keep her quiet, okay?

And stay by the phone.

Make sure the sperm mogul's

on ice until I get back.

- What do you mean "on ice"?

- In ice cubes in the bathtub, okay!

Hey, when does Robin get home?

Her shift's over at noon.

- Okay, great.

-(GROANS)

Calm the f*** down. I got to get a pump.

PAUL:
Yeah, take a moment.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

That's it. That's good.

Listen, Danny,

I know what it's like to

think you killed somebody.

And it hurts.

I mean, you got Jesus and the devil...

That's it, get it.

Jesus, devil,

swirling all up in your head.

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