Pain & Gain Page #12

I was lucky, 'cause my guy lived.

So you must really feel like sh*t.

You're right, Paul.

Let's just hope

Jesus is as forgiving as they say, right?

Oh, He is.

DANIEL:

Adrian, do something about this rug.

Look, just say the dog did it, okay?

Everything else

will be gone before Robin...

Looks like he killed the dog.

Hey, crank the AC. He's starting to reek.

Let's go, Paul, come on.

PAUL:
Hang in there, buddy.

ADRIAN:
Bro, you better hurry up, man!

DANIEL:
We'll be back!

Where is my dog, bro?

I see it. I see the emotion,

and I see all that Satan sh*t swirling.

I don't need your sh*t

right now, okay? Please.

I say it because I care.

I'm just trying to be a friend.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(KRISZTINA MUMBLING)

ADRIAN:
Be calm.

Holy sh*t.

Holy Moses.

- You're a f***ing genius. You did it!

-(LAUGHS)

I love Jesus, too! You know that, right?

Look at the size of this thing!

It's like a f***ing treasure chest!

Come on, baby. Come on.

33... 19... 22...

Sh*t!

Come on!

33...

19...

22...

- You f***ed this up!

- This is not my fault!

Oh, man.

- What's the combo?

-32, 19, 22!

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Yo, DL, where you at, man?

Put the Yugoslav on the phone.

I need the right safe combo.

No, you got to get back here, man.

Robin's going to be home

in a few hours.

She gets off at noon.

No, I think they gave me

the wrong f***ing number!

- KRISZTINA:
Frank?

- No, she... Sh*t.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Hello?

You wrote it down wrong.

You gonna try to get away? Huh?

- There's some more!

-(GASPS)

Now, come on, get up.

My wife's coming home.

See you in the living room.

(PHONE RINGING)

Stop drinking!

You've got to write the code down now.

- PAUL:
I'm ready.

- All right, what's the safe combo?

Put the phone where she can hear.

She can't hear nothing, man.

What's the problem?

The b*tch is cold, bro.

What? No.

Her soul has left her body.

Tell me it's not f***ing true, now!

I mean, you told me to give

her some more tranquilizer,

and I did, and I gave her two shots,

and I think I gave her too much,

'cause now she's not f***ing breathing.

We were dancing

and having such a good time

and I was smacking her ass

and now she's f***ing dead!

And you're not here, bro!

No. No! Not...

Did you get the code?

No! No! No!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

This isn't happening.

This is not happening.

Jonny Wu says

it's all about seeing the humor

in the chaos, right? Right?

Come on! Let's bolt!

You didn't get the code?

Let's go, we got sh*t to do.

Tell me the code. I'm ready.

Come on. We don't

have the code. Put this on.

Yeah, I got the Lambo.

Hey, you want that dog?

That Yorkshire's

about $1,250 if it's a purebred.

Hey.

Sh*t, we've got to get

something for the bodies.

PAUL:
Hey, little buddy.

You hungry'?

(CHUCKLING)

DANIEL:
Come on, come on!

PAUL:
What a little boy.

DANIEL:
I love purple.

It's not smart taking a dead man's car.

Not smart at all.

Oh, sh*t! Oh, no!

Sh*t! Oh, she's going to kill me!

Oh, sh*t.

Lost my dog.

PAUL:
(GRUNTS)

You've got to slow down!

You're tipping her over!

I'm not driving too fast.

I'm following the f***ing speed limit.

I got 48 holes in my carpet!

It smells awful back here.

See, I'm dealing with sh*t

on a whole other level.

Y'all can't even fathom

the level that I'm on.

You're making me nervous,

okay! There are cops ahead.

Come on, guys! I'm concentrating!

I think I'm going to be sick.

For a big f***er, you complain a lot!

What am I going to tell my wife?

DANIEL:
Just f***ing lie.

Sick.

(GASPING) I booted.

DANIEL:
Paul, you're f***ing disgusting.

Reuben'? Come here. Is that you?

What are you doing?

What happened to you?

Paul, we got a job to do,

are you up here hiding?

I need you downstairs, okay?

I need you to secure

and maintain a profile.

Me and Adrian are going to Home Depot

to get what we need. Let's go, come on.

I am not staying here alone

with those two dead bodies.

I will freak out.

What do you mean "no"?

This was your idea.

You want to get out of this,

you better learn to take responsibility.

Don't be a don't-er. You'll regret it.

I already regret it.

Get me the police.

PAUL:
There is life after death.

Of that, I am sure.

But I'm also pretty sure

dead people no longer need their stuff.

And I did.

(SNORTING) Oh!

- All right, cleaning supplies.

- Check.

Mr. and Mrs. Griga,

how are you? Chopin?

Hello, little baby, I'm here. (CHUCKLES)

- Chopin?

-(DOG WHIMPERS)

We're gonna clean them, chop them,

put them in buckets. Right here.

Dissolve them with lye.

No evidence.

Check.

-(PHONE RINGS, MACHINE BEEPS)

- Adrian?

This is Officer Wilson,

Miami-Dade Police.

Animal Services

has recovered a greyhound

that is registered to your address

but we believe the dog may be stolen.

You need to contact us please,

at your earliest convenience.

305...

We got a body part, a human toe.

Get a forensic unit here right away.

He loves dog like his own child.

(GRUNTING) Team Jesus!

(EXHALES) Feel great.

Doyle feels great.

MAN:
May cause anxiety, aggression,

seizure, suicidal thoughts, dementia...

Ah! I feel like sh*t now.

PAUL:
Jesus, forgive me.

Forgive my sins.

We're back! Come on, let's go.

You can do that sh*t all day in prison

if we don't get these bodies out of here!

I am in the middle of a superset.

Hey! Did you take the wedding ring?

No, I did not. No.

F***ing crackhead.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTS)

Hey, should we save her implants?

Well, not unless you want them

for paperweights.

No, resale of medical devices

is a big business, man.

I'm married to someone

in the medical field. I know this.

Then stop playing with her tits, okay?

And Windex our fingerprints off now.

Well, what about their fingerprints?

What about them?

What are we gonna do

with their fingerprints on their fingers?

(SIGHS)

I'll think of something, all right?

-(CHAINSAW WHIRRING)

- PAUL:
Are you really going to do that?

- Danny, that's disgusting!

- DANIEL:
Sh*t!

- ADRIAN:
What's wrong with it?

- How the hell am I supposed to know?

- What, is it plugged in?

- Yeah, it's plugged in!

Well, press the button!

Give me that, let me do it, man!

- F*** if we got time for this.

-(WHIRRING)

See? Daddy worked power tools, baby!

Get it! Go, go, go! Get it, get it, get it!

(GRUNTING)

- ADRIAN:
Am I hitting it?

-(STRAINING)

What happened? Come on!

- Oh, sh*t!

- What?

It's stuck in her hair! (GRUNTS)

Give me this thing.

Figures! Made in China?

It's a piece of China f***ing crap!

I f***ing told you to get

a gas-powered one,

not some f***ing piece of

electric China crap! Sh*t!

Well, you're the one who said

we didn't have time to stop for gas!

- Grab her arm.

- What are you doing?

I'm going old school.

ADRIAN:
Go.

I'm going to chop that f***er right off.

Wait, wait, wait. All right, go. Go, go.

(YELLS)

F*** you "Ah!"ing about? Hold it, man.

- I almost chopped your finger!

- Go! Ah!

ADRIAN:
(GROANS) Come on!

(FLIES BUZZING)

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