Paperback Page #7

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with their lives.

The only thing I seem to be

great at doing is nothing,

just wasting my potential

as a human shield.

I thought I could find

it with her, but...

- You'll find it.

You'll find it with somebody

that you don't have to break

a commandment to be with.

- You think so?

- Yeah. I promise.

What are you doing?

- I don't know. I'm upset.

- It's okay.

Do you want a juice?

- Yeah.

- I was talking to

the kid, but okay.

(keys jingling)

(knocking)

- Hey man. Can I

stay here tonight?

- Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Uh, come on in.

- I just had to get out

of there, clear my head.

- It's cool.

You didn't try to stay

with anyone else first?

- What? Like who?

- I don't know.

So do you want a drink?

I have a water, or this guy

gave me a keg to finish off.

- That's okay. Thanks though.

You're a good friend.

- Okay, you don't

have to say that.

- No, really. You're

a good friend.

- Okay, just chill out.

So did you talk to her?

- Yeah, we got into a fight.

A big one, and I stormed out.

She swears she didn't do it.

I just don't know what to think.

I mean, I know she's a flirt,

but to think that she...

- Wait, flirt? What do you mean?

- I'm not an idiot.

I see the way she

talks to other men.

It's the same way she

used to talk to me.

You never noticed

that about her?

- I guess I missed it.

- Anyway, thanks for

letting me crash.

It should just be

for a couple days.

- Uh, actually, Samantha's

kid peed on this couch.

Like all on it.

- Okay, so, that's gross.

I guess I'll just

sleep on the...

- Why don't you take my bed

and I'll sleep on the floor.

- No, I'm not gonna kick

you out of your own bed.

- It's the least

I can do. Really.

- No, seriously. We'll

figure something else out.

How about I use your bed?

- Why?

- I'll try not to

give you a handjob.

Hey man, you awake?

- Yeah.

- I lied about the handjob.

- Awesome.

- You remember Allie Garcia?

- Yeah.

- Well, I never told you this,

but one time we were at

a party and we made out.

- My Allie Garcia?

- Yes. Sorry.

We were really drunk

and it just happened.

I feel terrible about it.

I know you had this

huge crush on her.

I just wanted to get

that off my chest.

I should have told

you a long time ago.

- It's okay. Thanks for

telling me, I guess.

Well, good night.

(snoring)

(pumping)

(phone buzzing)

- [Emily] Hi.

I know you want some

time to think about this.

I just hope that you believe me.

Okay, love you.

It's me again.

It's really scary without

you here. Just really quiet.

Anyway, I hope you're

just having fun with Rob

and that's why you

aren't picking up.

And I hope you

know that I love--

- [Peter] Jason, it's Peter.

I read the chapters you

sent over and they're great.

Loved it. Can't wait to

see where you take it.

Oh, and I looked at the

other writer's book too,

and well, I think

it's a pass for me.

It wasn't bad but it

just didn't wow me,

and that metachapter in the

book really took me out of it.

Calling it out didn't help

either. But thanks for sending.

All right. Excited

for your new one.

You're gonna do great

things man. Talk soon.

(footsteps)

- Hey, sorry. I've got class.

- That's okay. I've

gotta wake up too.

- Oh? When are you working?

- Like 10 minutes.

- Well you look great.

See you at dinner.

- [Samantha] Hey girl.

- Hey.

So uh, has Jason asked about me?

- Uh, no, not really. Sorry.

- Um, I'll just-- I'll

have a number one, to go.

- Okay.

Hey, no, it's cool. It's on me.

- My hero.

(phone chimes)

- Can we meet?

- Why?

- Jason isn't

returning my calls.

I need to talk to him.

I can come by Satchels--

- My shift just ended, so...

- Well, I'll just meet you

at your place then, okay?

- I think he's

still teaching, Em.

- I know. I want to see you too.

- This is some heavy sh*t, man.

This is a crazy rollercoaster.

This is like a

trashy romance novel.

- [Rob] Come on. No it's not.

- [Samantha] You're right.

The people on the covers of

those things are really hot.

- You've been a big help.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- I thought about

wearing pigtails.

Would that have been funny?

- Yeah that would

have been awesome.

- So I've been thinking, um...

I can make this whole

thing with Jason disappear

and get things back to normal.

- That's what you want?

- I don't know. He's your

best friend, he's my husband.

And I still love him. Don't you?

- I guess.

- I don't know. I mean our

marriage isn't perfect,

but pretty good, which is all

you can hope for, isn't it?

For the record,

being with you was...

Was really scary.

- Why?

- Because I love you too.

And anyway, you can

tell me to go to hell

and I totally

wouldn't blame you,

but I have to at least

ask you for your help.

- With what?

- I need you to

convince him to see me.

You're the only person

that he listens to.

- After reading your papers

I want to share with you all

one of the secrets of writing

that I learned in college.

You'll never be a great writer

unless you start

putting your periods

inside of quotation marks.

- Emily came by. Said she

couldn't get ahold of you.

- Yeah. I threw my

phone in a lake.

- What?

- I wish I'd had a pack

of gum or something.

- I think you

should talk to her.

You know, she's your wife.

For what it's worth, I

don't think she did it.

- You don't?

- She doesn't have it in her.

- It's crazy where things go.

I remember the moment

I first saw her.

She was the most beautiful,

charming girl I had ever seen.

She just destroyed me.

It was like she was my ticket

to some higher

plane of existence.

And now this.

If I could just

find out, for sure,

that she cheated on me,

I think I'd be able to

leave her and start over.

I'd probably even

be happier that way,

instead of not

knowing like this.

Anyway, I guess I

should go hear her out.

Thanks man.

Sorry you're caught in

the middle of all of this.

(phone buzzing)

(phone ringing)

- [Emily] Hi, this is

Emily. Leave a message.

- Hey, it's Rob.

I finally figured out

how to make things right.

It'll be okay.

Just hold off on talking

to Jason, and uh...

Call me back, I guess.

(rock music)

- Billy, come on! Sister

hates it when we're late.

Yikes.

What happened to

your everything?

- Can't talk. Dying.

- You know, for somebody who

rides their bike everywhere

you're in terrible shape.

- Hi-yah!

- Ow!

Ow!

- Hi-yah!

- Ow, get him off me!

- Billy, get in the

car. Get in the car.

Let's go. Seat belt on.

What's up?

- Could you give me a ride?

- He's there right now?

- I think so.

- So why am I taking you there?

- Emily is who I'm

supposed to be with.

If I don't stop this now

I might never be able to.

- What do you mean,

you're gonna tell

Jason about the affair?

- He said he would rather

know than be left wondering.

I mean, I finally figured out

how to do this the right way.

There are no, like, losers here.

- Well--

- Okay.

- No, I mean like,

what about you and him?

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