Paul Page #4
- The other one ...
- Oh ...
I'm in the can.
I ate a ...
... a closed pistachio.
I'm paying for it.
It's a nice t-shirt.
Oh thanks, I got it at my church.
"EVOLVE THIS"
- It's Jesus shooting Charles Darwin.
Why would Jesus wanna
shoot Charles Darwin?
Because of his blasphemous theories?
Are you men of God?
We're men of science ...
You know, we believe in the ...
... establishment of a biological order
through the maelstrom of physical ...
... and chemical chaos.
The world is 4000 years old and can only
be the product of an intelligent design.
That's whoreshit !!
Um ... alright ...
Well then, please explain how something as complex
as the human eye simply just comes into being?
Just come into being ?!
It's the combination of ...
... billions of years of development
and cost countless species !
What are you talking about ?!
Evolution baby !!
Blasphemy !
- Blasphemy ?! - Nothing that you can
say can shake my beliefs. Perfect.
And the short and certain knowledge that
God made Heaven and Earth and ...
... created us all in his own image.
- His own image ?!
- Yeah ...
Well, I got a question ...
How do you explain me ?!
She's goin'. She's fallin'
Catch ...
And that's Jenga.
Why did you do that ?!
I ... just ... she fainted !
We've gone through this !
But we have to take her with us now !
- No ! No !
- What ...
This is America. Kidnapping a Christian,
that's worse than harboring a fugutive.
Yeah, but she's seen you !
If we leave, she's gonna call the police !
God bothering cyclop ...
... let's just dump her on the road !
- Just roll her up on the road ...
- No, we can't risk that !
If we take us, then we
can get her on our side.
Yeah, you'd love her to
get her on our side, wouldn't you?
That doesn't make sense.
Look, she'll be fine.
We're quite nice !
All right. What about my passport?
Oh, God ... Guys.
"JESUS has the right of way"
Uh, no !!...
Hollings
Clive
British Subject
Oh, yes ...
Ruth, what in the Lord's name ...
Morning ...
Morn ...
Go, go, go, go, go !! ...
Oh f*** !
Shook yourself daemon !
Where are you ?!
Where are you ?!
Passport, passport !!
Jump, jump !!
What? That's actually small
on my planet.
bFUCK YOU/b
Um, Ruth?
Hello, Ruth.
Would you like a cup of tea?
Where am I?
Hey, look who's awake?
Daemon ! Daemon !
No, no, we're sorry,
we're not gonna hurt you, i promise.
And we'll let you go as
soon as we can.
You've been decieved by an agent
of Satan himself.
He's evil !
I'm sitting right here, come on !
No, no, he's not evil.
He's just a bit rude.
We're trying to help him get home.
He's from another world.
There's only one world.
Our world !
The world that God, the
father created !
Hey, if it makes feel any better,
my existence only disproves ...
... the traditional notions of
Abraham and todays notion of Chrisian God.
As well as all thrology,
that's all i meant.
Amazing Grace ...
What is with you people ?!
Ruth, just listen to me for
one second, if you could just calm down ...
I can't ... drive like this.
F*** this !
What did you do to her ?!
I just transfered my collective knowledge and
experience through her tactile psyscho connective bridge.
Oh, wow, could you do me?
It really takes the head of me.
Oh, come on, please.
Oh, wow ...
Oh, yeah ...
He always knew what was
going on at Battlestar before me ...
... 'cause his mom had cable.
Fine, pull over, I'll do you.
Absolutely not, no spoilers !
I didn't call the Government !
This is not the police's area
of expertise Mr Buggs.
That devil took my doughter.
What do you mean "devil"?
And your doughters name
is Ruth, is it?
That's right.
I brought her up by myself
after her momma died.
Yeah, she's pretty easy to spot.
She's got this eye thing since she was 4 years old.
Do you have a phone here
that your doughter might try to ...
... reach you at if she
decides to call?
Yeah, in the back.
Hey, Peter Parker.
Wanna put the snappy down and
get to the phone?
Right ...
She'll call me if she can.
You mentioned it when ...
F*** you ...
Here we go.
Boys, to the car.
Sir ...
Might tell us what we're looking for?
Yeah, what are we looking for?
I told you this is a
need to know operation.
Yes ... sir.
But ...
Sh ... Dammit ...
Sir, i think it's time you tell us.
Hey, just do what the f*** i tell you, Haggard.
Now, let's go find that crazy old bastards
little girl before it's too late.
Ruth !
Ruth, wait !
Leave me alone !
Please, please stop, i got shin splints !
He ... he can not be from space.
It's not possible !
Okay? He's from somewhere else !
Look, Ruth, you saw it
for yourself, okay?
He showed you.
There's probably billions of intelligent
civilizations out there.
So, where is everybody?
I ... but ... one of them's there !
Are they lookin' ?
Are they lookin' ?
Are they lookin' right now ?!
Sorry !
That's pathetic ...
What's your beef Clive?
I don't have beef.
I'm from outer space ...
... you're a science fiction writer.
We should be best buds.
It's not you.
It's me.
Is that what this is?
You're jealaous of ... her ?!
It's not just that.
Whoa ...
Of me ?!
Oh my ... This is because me and
Graeame got like 2 minutes when you were asleep?
- Is that what this is?
- I wanted it to be special, you know?
I've dreamt about meeting you.
Ever since I saw Mac and Me.
And I blew it.
Now you two are friendly and ...
... he's off talking to girls and he's ...
Where am I ?!
Come on man !
This ... is special.
You guys being all nerdy and sh*t.
And meeting me, that is fate.
Who cares if you pissed your pants man?
When I first got here, first time
I saw you, I puked.
You guys are weird lookin',
you've giant bodies, tiny ...
... tiny heads.
You're just being nice now.
Look, do you want it sugar?
It's just knowledge and experience man.
You're a writer. Might give you some inspiration.
Will it hurt?
Only if you struggle.
Allright.
So there's no heaven, no hell.
No right, no wrong, no sin.
What ...
- I can drink.
- If you like.
- I can fornicate.
- Maybe.
- I can curse.
- Well, yeah. - Penises !
- Ruth ... - Assing hairy
b*obs poop, farting, butt holes !
Ruth, I'm not sure this is helping !
Wha ... what are you doing ?!
Ha ... stop it !
Why ?! Why should i stop ?!
This is ...
Because ...
You have your whole life
to explore new things.
Okay?
Doesn't necessarily mean ..
You should be exploring mine right now ...
You ...
You said you wanted to travel, allright?
To see like new stuff.
This is your chance !
I ... I really think you
should come with us.
Where would i sleep?
I'll sleep on the sofa.
And then you can have my bed.
You know? But I'd push the
tissues off with a pen if i were you ...
... because I've had a cold.
Oh ...
Ruth has decided that she would
like to come with us.
Wicked ...
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"Paul" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/paul_15680>.
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