Paul Page #5

I'm gonna go refreshen up.

Hey. Ruth !

Wait up

You don't smoke.

I just wanted to say thanks.

I know this is been weird for you, but ...

... you saved my life and i owe you one.

Okay?

Okay.

What do you got there?

By the way ...

Severe epiral membrane complicated by mecular

deamon in your left ventricilous cavity?

How did you know that?

Lucky guess.

Do you mind if i take a

look at it for one second?

What does it say in the Old

Testament? An eyer for an eye?

Wait ... i don't ...

It's okay. You can trust me.

I don't know.

Just have a little faith, ok?

How did you do that?

Evolution baby.

- Um, Graeme ...

- Yeah?

- Oh my God ... Clive ...

- Oh my God ...

Come on, make your move.

Oh sh*t, dammit ...

You were the best thing

I ever invaded - George BUSH

Hey, check it out, check it out !

Uh? See, it's easy.

Small corrections Paul,

make small corrections.

Get to the right !!

Hey there sleepy face ...

Fuckaroo, that was the best

titty farting sleep I've ever had.

Uh ... I gotta feeling that you're

new to cursing Ruth ...

Look, cursing's fun,

you just gotta pick your moments, ok?

Hey, maybe we should stop for some food,

is anybody hungry?

F*** yeah !

- Ruth ?

- You bet your big fat cock I am !

Nice !

I'm starvin' ...

What's new "fat hair" ?

It's not fat Paul, it's power.

- Fat power. - It's rude.

- You're rude.

Maybe you should call my dad.

What ?!

What? Why?

I've been gona for a whole day,

and if he calls the police ...

... they're gonna be looking for us.

If I don't there's a good chance

that we all end up in Sh*t Butt City.

You're really getting the hang of this.

Thanks dick-milk.

The music is from

"Star Wars:
Episode IV"

It won't be long.

Ok ... be ... be careful.

Ruth Buggs?

Yes?

Listen to me carefully.

I want you to tell me where you are.

Who is this?

My name is Agent Zoil and it's very

important you tell me where you are ...

... and where you are headed Miss Buggs.

I ... I ... can't tell you.

I mean, I ... don't ... know.

You've been abducted. The individual

that you're travelling with is highly dangerous.

Oh no, he's not dangerous.

I mean, he's kind of rude ...

He curses a lot ...

And a couple of times I've seen

him scratch his ...

... space man ... balls.

Please listen to me. Your father is

extremely worried about you ...

... and we'd like to get

you home Miss Buggs.

He showed me things.

She's talking about his

spaceman balls.

You know I'm just trying to

help you, right Ruth?

I just ... I don't know what's

real anymore, I'm confused ...

- We got the b*tch !!

- Yeah dog, up high !

Dammit Haggard, Miss ...

- Hey, hey, hey !

- Wow, wow, wow !

Around there baby?

- I have to get to my friends.

- What's the rush?

I gotta friend down here

who'd love to meet you.

Okay?

Oh, what the f*** ?!

Hey, hey !!

Hey, how's your dad?

- We gotta go, we gotta go.

- How 'bout the pizzas?

We gotta go now !!

Holy sh*t !

It's the space faggots

getting the f*** mobile !

Yeah, we were just leaving.

I don't feel well.

- Oh sh*t, sailors !

- Let's go !!

Excuse me miss ...

Papa ?!

Ruth ... My Lord ... Your eye !

- Come on, let's go !

- What about my dad ?!

- Where're you goin' girls ?!

- Leave us alone you stupid vaginas !!

That's no way for a pretty little

thing like you to talk !

She's very new to be honest !

Leave this to me, I'll talk to 'em.

Yo f*** nuts !!

It's probin' time ...

Hah ! Only one of us fainted !

Oh, sh*t ! The 5-0, let's bounce !

I'm sorry. They answered the phone.

They knew about us.

Get in the RV ...

Come on, they're gonna wake up !

Sorry !

- Ok, we need to get off the road.

- Shouldn't we keep moving?

No, that is exactly what they'll

expect us to do, trust me !

Only an idiot would stop right now !

- Yeah, pull in here, pull in here.

That's perfect. - What ?!

- Paul ...

- We're idiots, remember?

What should we do now?

Well, how about hot chocolate and bed?

What are you, my grandma?

Oh, I couldn't sleep.

I'm too pumped.

Yeah, me too. Let's get some beers.

Find somewhere to chill.

What do you say?

What if someone sees you?

It's dead out there.

And I can do this ...

- Ok, I'm in.

- Roggie?

- Sure.

- Bowinkle?

- Well, I'm a little bit tired.

- Don't be a p*ssy ...

Don't call me a p ...

Allright.

- Allright, come on.

- Ruth ...

Get your hands off me.

Gus ?!

Something i can help you, with?

Yeah, you mind telling me

what happened here?

Uh ... just a good ol' fashioned

beer soke slobber knocker.

See anything unusual?

Couple hillbilly types in the back

of that meat wagon won't stop crying.

Did you gentlemen see anything

unusual this evening?

Are we sure?

Thank you.

bFUCK YOU/b

- It's a nice window.

- This is the little cowboy, isn't it?

I'll tell you, tell you, that's just funny.

It was when you

kiss me yesterday.

- Sorry.

- No.

I was like, "Girl for you rapists !"

Do it again if you like.

What?

Said, you can do it

again if you like.

Really?

If you're gonna try it, then maybe

you should do it with a friend, you know ...

... rather than some stranger, because,

there's a lot weirdos out there.

Oh, I am planning on doing a lot of kissing ...

... and fornicating so ...

... you'd really be helping me out.

Great.

Wh ... what ... do you mean now?

- I tought, ...

- Yeah, I did but ...

We could, let's do it now.

- I mean,

- Yeah.

Um, my hands on you ...

Staying here ...

Hold steady ...

F*** ! I'm sorry.

I tought I was gonna pass out ...

Carry on ...

- How's that mate?

- Nothin' nothin', just hangin' around.

They were about to make out.

It was awkward ! ...

We were just ...

Good ...

Please put your shorts on Paul.

You guys partake?

No, thank you.

I'll partake.

Are you sure?

It's pretty strong sh*t.

I got it from the military actually.

This is the stuff that killed Dylan.

Bob Dylan is not dead.

Isn't he?

Hit me.

Ok, just ... you know ... go easy on it.

Ruth ...

A little bit, a little bit.

It's not so bad.

To be fair, it takes a while

to be absorbed in.

Oh, sh*t ...

I'm hungry. We should

cook up some saussages.

Do we have any saussages?

What do you mean by that?

Why do you guys hate me?

Can we go cook up

some saussages?

Oh, I have waspes in my brain !

She'll be fine ...

That happened to me the first time.

Paul ...

I was gonna ask ...

you know us right?

Yeah, Graeme we're

like modified BFF.

Why are you in such

a hurry to leave now?

Well, according to the Government,

I fulfilled my usefulness.

I told them eveything I know,

the only thing I've left off for them now ...

... are my abilities.

The healing, the thought transfer,

the camouflage.

In order to cultivate those abilities,

they need some of my stem cells.

And I'm not really down with that.

Lucky for me, I do have

one friend left on the inside.

So, a man should get

SOS a beamed into space ...

... I got my people primed

and ready to pick me up.

Then, motherfuckers brought the

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote